For non-transitioners: Are you a woman, man, or both, or is it the clothes?

[stephanie2000]

This is a great question. I'm not sure to be honest. A part of me just loves dressing up in sexy lingerie and then putting on the top layer of women's clothes and walking around my home. But I have recently contemplated going out in public. For now just to a local chapter of cross dressers then going to a restaurant/dance club after the regular patrons leave. (strength in numbers I hope) This will be a huge milestone for me and I am very nervous about it but don't think I can stop myself now. Over the years I have purged so much nice clothing that it makes me sad and I so hope that I don't continue that behavior. It's just hard for me to imagine feeling comfortable dressed and being among other people. I don't think I will ever allow any family for friends to see this side of me.

[Lucy23]

A man. It's just the clothes, nothing more. I don't change at all, I'm still the same person whenever I wear a beautiful dress and heels or my ordinary clothes.

[Tina81]

I'm a man. I appreciate and admire a well-proportioned women's figure. I like wearing women's clothes/shoes/make-up but I like being able to go back to my own clothes. Like others, I enjoy looking at myself dressed and looking at women in stylish women's clothes, especially dresses and skirts. I especially like the feel of wearing pencils skirts and scuba sheath dress. When dressed in women's clothes, it feels comfortable and enjoyable.

[Nikki A.]

OK I think I'm a combination of Al Bundy and Sofia Loren. At times I can be a typical male but the inner me is wishing I could be someone as sensual and good looking as Ms Loren. I always thought she was the ultimate female.
I think that if I was 15 - 20 years old now, with all the info available on the internet today, I may have tried to transition. However I think its 40-45 years too late and too much water under the bridge. I'm happy being a male who has the opportunity to let his femme side out on a regular basis, and as I get older being more open about it.
What is the difference between a CD and a TG ? 2 years. I was told by a girl who transitioned that she gave me 2 yrs before I would do the same thing, based on how comfortable I was with being dressed. Well I'm going on 5 years and have not yet done so, but at times it is tempting.

[Joanne108]

I know that I am a man. It find cool and thrilling to wear women's clothing. It has given me insight into how much work women put in to be beautiful for us men. I find it rewarding when I pull off the illusion of being a woman, but I'm happy to be done with it when my time as Joanne is over.

[AllieBellema]

Even though I do enjoy the feminine side of dressing up, I still identify myself as a guy to everybody. When I do have my outfit on though and I look at myself in the mirror, I'll call myself a woman at that point, but that's really the only time I'll do it. I'm just a guy that likes wearing ball gowns and fancy dresses!

[AmandaM]

I want to add, when I dress up, I feel good, I feel happy, I feel like a woman (whatever that means). And then, it fades. My "feeling like a woman" comes and goes.

[Robin777]

To be honest, I don't what I am. At one time when I was in my late teens I wanted to transition. I was confused with myself. Then I got married and that want went away. I like being a male. I enjoy the beauty of women and I enjoy the things that come with being male. Then at times I need to dress feminine and express that side of me.When I'm dressed I look at women differently. Does that make me Genderfluid? I just don't know.

[Lacy PJs]

Man for sure. It's the feeling of (some) clothes that I enjoy.

Lacy PJs

[Sallee]

For me its the cloths I think. So there must be some kind of feminine gene there I have never had a desire to transition. That would really make life more complex

[Katie Anne]

When I met my current wife, we both were in our late 30's. She completely accepted my crossdressing and even encouraged me to go a bit further in my fashion choices and the places I felt comfortable going en femme. She said she found that I radiated a different energy when presenting as male. As a man, I was more demanding and more driven. Neither were qualities that she admired. This was not a femdom or even a particularly feminist thing with her. It was just a proclivity. She had female lovers in the past and she liked the parity of those relationships. I envied her lesbian relationships. I began to conceive of myself as a lesbian. We made a deal. For six months, I would not leave the house without being dressed in a skirt and full makeup. My wife is very feminine. She never looks in any way "butch". We both do household chores. I like the way my wife dresses so much we frequently wear hers and "hers" outfits. I work in an agency that accepts me as "trans" and my co-workers have been supportive of my "transition". In all situations now, I am' "one of the girls". Frequently, I am the only "girl" in a skirt or dress and heels. Being in a skirt, heels, full makeup for 16 hours a day has changed me. I take hormones and T-blockers, but I carefully manage the dose to avoid losing the ability to get an erection, even though these displays of masculinity are no longer a big part of my marital love life. What does all this make me, a man or a woman? Socially, I am female from my painted toenails to my expertly styled hair. Yet, I have no desire for SRS, though I love having boobs. Most of my friends and family accept me as a woman married to another woman. I just love all this. Deep down, I realize that if there was not some part of me that was still male there would be no thrill associated with my new lifestyle.

[AutumnNC]

I am a man. I enjoy being a man. I do not feel like a woman at all. However, when I see a woman in a pretty dress, or sexy lingerie, my mind wanders. I think to myself that I wonder what it feels like to be dressed like that?

It is enjoyable to completely transform and feel pretty every now and again. It is haaaard work though! So I am fully content being a male. Just wish there was more variety in our clothing!

[Diane Taylor]

I consider myself to be a male who likes to wear the clothing that is considered by "society" to be for females. I have never considered myself to be a woman in any way.

[Amelie]

I am a woman.

I am a non-op transsexual. I will do as much as possible to be a women without getting SRS. With my mental background no one will OK an operation for me. That is OK, I still will be a woman.

[ShirleyN]

This has probably been batted around many times on this forum, but i just wanted to see what y'all say. I think i am a male, with a fem side, AND I LOVE CERTAIN LADIIES' STYLES. Not all of their styles, though.

Hey Alice.
For me, its generally more to do with the clothes. While i'm outwardly male, I think that internally, I'm probably just that little bit more female but have no desire to transition. I agree with you about certainly ladies' styles as I have a similar view to this point.
As I've said before on this forum, I love long ankle-length skirts (of all different types and patterns.) I like short skirts too more knee-length skirts (the kind that busineswomen might wear to just above the knees.[USER][/USER]

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[QUOTE=AutumnNC;4099471]I am a man. I enjoy being a man. I do not feel like a woman at all. However, when I see a woman in a pretty dress, or sexy lingerie, my mind wanders. I think to myself that I wonder what it feels like to be dressed like that?"
Agreed. There's just something about images of well-dressed women in skirts or dresses that, for want of a better expression, "awakens" the desire to emulate them. This can be quite a powerful temptation to resist.


"It is enjoyable to completely transform and feel pretty every now and again. It is haaaard work though! So I am fully content being a male." Ditto. My own thoughts exactly!

[Alice Torn]

Thanks Shirley. I was always mesmerized by some attractive ladies in sleeveless knee length or a bit shorter or longer dresses, and pencil skirts, in hose and heels.

[JulieStone]

It's like I'm two people, Dave is strong, in charge, very alpha, Julie is submissive, and compliant.

[Rachelakld]

two seperate people
Primary personality is male, sub-personality is female see "Co-consciousness", but please don't associate it with dysphoria as we are both content with the shared, health & fit body.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I'm no longer sure. I used to think I was a male who just enjoyed women's clothing. However, I find that Jodie is taking up more and more of my life.

[PamelaRI]

I saw the thread, I read the thread, I thought about the thread, I crafted several posts to the thread, but decided not to post them to the thread. This is one of those postings that shows up here on occasion that you read and think you know the answer, but as you read through it and see the answers of others, you start questioning if you really do know the answer. I know that inside I'm not a "man". Men things (expectations, attitudes especially) often make me uncomfortable. But on the other hand, I'm what I would call "a man, by bad habit". In other words, I do "man" because that's what they told me I was at the factory, but I don't really believe in it and am not really comfortable with it. Movies make me cry. If given a choice of discussing football or fashion, I'd lean toward fashion, but can talk football if I have to. I have one close male "non-work related" friend. Most of my close friends are women. I like quiche. Seriously, I do know that I'm a quirky, grumpy, frustrated, bright, closet disestablishmentarian who someday may know who to be when I grow up.

So what's my answer to the posited question - I'd say that I'm gender-fluid, non-binary on the feminine side, but in reality I'm a fraud. I take advantage of and am held hostage by the economic advantages of my male status, while wishing that I were female or at least able to do the things that women do that are in the forbidden zone for men.

[DMichele]

For a while I avoided this question, but it is a good one for self-evaluation and awareness. I identify with being within transgender umbrella, and non-binary. In previous posts I said I was 60% female / 40% male.

Body and spirit-wise, I have come to terms with who I am today. I have no plans to change my body, but I am open to a more feminine body. In short, I believe I am a near-woman. That is I am much closer to being female than male.

[Victoria92116]

I am definitely a male in and out. No desire to change my good around, but I do find that dressing and doing my makeup is relaxing, and when I'm dressed I do feel more feminine which is a relaxing thing I suppose. I also have noticed, since I really started dressing in more than just panties I appreciate the look of ladies clothes and shoes, and even take extra long looks at how these gals do there makeup, where I normally would be a standard guy and look at their body. It's strange to appreciate something I never noticed before.

[Devi SM]

For me dressing is just a consequence of what I am. An expression of how I feel comfortable dressing and acting.
Like someone said, If I would understand earlier, who I am, If I would not be washed brain with religion and guilty for 50 years, If I wouldn't married and got three boys, for sure I would transition to the full.
When dressed are the only moments when I feel 100% fulfilled.
Vanessa is a woman in a man's body fighting every moment to be seen as a woman...and accepted and appreciated...

[Amy559]

I do feel like I was born with the wrong parts. If I could snap my fingers to become a GG I'd do it in a second.