There’s a lot to unpack as this thread has progressed.
First, I think it’s pretty brave for Doreen to post her account of this event. Honestly, I’m not sure I’d have the guts to write such a personal (and somewhat embarrassing) story about meeting a new woman and the ensuing events. I say embarrassing because upon reflection, it seems Doreen sees her actions as having been wrong.
The second thing is it’s pretty easy to be a “Monday morning coach” (for our friends who are not from the U.S. that phrase comes from American football games being played on Sundays and all the armchair quarterbacks standing around the workplace watercooler analyzing and saying what went wrong in the game on Monday morning) Anyway, my point is that I think it’s easy to cast stones at Doreen after the fact.
About this new woman, your marriage and going out dancing until the next morning…
I think you should stop communicating with that new woman and stay from the places she goes. It sounds like it could lead to trouble in a number of ways. I think it would be wise to stop behaving like you are a single person, which from my American perspective it sounds like.
But I’m not sure it’s so much a cultural thing as it is a Doreen thing. I have a few friends who are from Europe who live here as well as some family who live in Germany. I don’t see or hear anything from them that would resemble staying gone from their house for days.
I hope you’re able to steer your marriage back on a path of trust.
S.