Yesterday I had a few hours to myself to dress. I spent some time the day before buying some new stuff - things I haven't owned before.
I bought a "free-bra" and made me a cleavage (first time ever) and bought fake nails and fake lashes (I wore them once in a dressing service I went to, but this is the first time I did it home, by myself).
beside those innovation, I put makeup (which i becoming better and better), wig, corset, breast forms, dress and heels.
I did enjoy my self and the look I got - very much! (I promise to post some pics in the next few days)
but later on (and I think it started only after I took everything off) I started to have bad feeling and got nervous:
am I going to far? to much?
My wife, which is not want to see me dress now, and by her self is not using makeup have no nails and is on the mild side, - how can I show her me in this "full" transform?
I myself, in my Boy mode, don't like women with all this makeup and nails and and and.... how, the hell, can I expect my wife to like me like that? (I hope that some day she will want to see me again, there is a chance for that)
and I know the simple answer is - so don't wear it all!
and I did explained her once (after she asked me because of the dressing and makeup) that I don't prefer women with a lot of make up, but I need it because I need all those "transformation aids" the become a "woman" and she is a woman all ready.
But all of this is really bothering me - This inner conflict - Love it and dislike it in the same time.
I looked on the photos I toke - make me very happy and pleased, but than those bad thoughts...
Just had to share and the it out of the system... I am so Happy I have this forum to share.
Going to watch those pics again...
