So after many years of ignoring myself, I finally decided to put on the big girl panties as it were and finally be how I really am.
Started off with the GP, let me rephrase that, clueless with no desire to learn GP, who suggested I see a Psych just up the road a bit.
Well Sandy, the Psych up the Road, is an absolute god send. Firstly, she got me the foot in the door at a new gender clinic over the other side of town. Secondly, she's got me to start to realise that transition is not going to change who I am. It's only going to change what I am to match. That little nugget has really helped to start breaking up the depression. (note: I'm still a down grumpy gal, but there are definite signs of a break in the weather.) Sessions with her will continue I thinks, not just on the gender side but life in general.
This brings us up to the gender clinic.
First port of call is a social worker, 1 hr session, just going over everything I'd discussed the previous 3 months with the GP and Sandy.
Following that it was off to talk with their in-house Psych for an "assessment".
This phase was .... different. Multiple written tests. followed by multiple face to face sessions. I was told that after the assessment was complete a decision would be made as to me progressing to see their in house Doc who would proscribe hormone therapy for me.
Well the startling news was that after only two sessions with the Psych, I now have an appointment to see their Doc this coming Friday. Still got another session booked with the Psych, but looks like that is the just complete the assessment even though a decision has been made. (Let's just say the sun shone on bare earth at that phone call)
So, even though I'm am fully committed to transition, be damned what people think, and I'm really happy? about the prospect of finally starting HT. There is also that little weed of fear.
I understand where that fear is coming from, its roots, namely me and my ideas about how my transition will go. (really bad genetics, read MAN, for a starting point). But that does not change the fact that it is there........
(not sure that really makes sense)
Will have to talk to the Psych about it during the session Tuesday.
TL;DR
Peta's got an appointment for HT this Friday and while really looking forward to starting hormones, is a little nervous as well.
