What does it mean to you?

[xNicolex]

So girls what does it mean to you, to be you? to be fem, to be girly whatever you wanna call it... For me it is an escape from the stress of work, worries and woes, It's a chance for the real me to come out from behind the mask I wear to work everyday. I work in an engineering office for a pharma company where 80% of the people I work with are male. So being one of the guys has to be accepted in order to fit in It's so draining pretending to be macho and not being able to be myself I deserve an oscar for the performance I give everyday But it makes dressing all that more rewarding So to me it means everything

[Sami Brown]

I have always thought of myself as more sensitive than the typical guy, which is probably not a desired attribute for a "man's man." Because my personality is more feminine than these dudes, dressing is a natural extension of my personality.

There is also another aspect of my personality helped by crossdressing, fearfulness of what others think. I have always been a scaredy cat. I use crossdressing to overcome my fear. I think a lot of dudes don't have the courage to do what we do, and crossdressing has helped me to become more confident in all aspects of my life.

[Brooke B]

I use my time to relieve stress also. I've found that when I'm stressed or even depressed I'll dress a lot more. It gives me the feeling "this is me, just leave me be". At times though its a catch 22. I get stressed from dressing, then dress to relieve stress. LOL!

[docrobbysherry]

It's all of those things for me, too, Nicole. Only for opposite reasons!

I put ON a mask. And, become someone completely different from my male self!

[Stacy Darling]

I'll have to say that it means more to me than anything else, as it's who I am!
I'm becoming very tired of that masculine performance as it is really starting to drain the life out of me.

So, it means so much to me that I may very well have fewer friends and family in the near future!
So be it!

Happy Stacy!

[Teresa]

Nikky,
Working in an office full of guys must be hard , I don't know if underdressing helps ? If i was faced with that situation I might be thinking at least one other in this office could be a CDer and even wearing something femme underneath.

I guess I was lucky as a self employed photographer, I dressed for hours in the darkroom even when the family were nearby , no one could enter while I was printing . I also loved handling the wedding and bridesmaids dresses at weddings, being allowed to arrange them all for the photographs was heaven .

[Tamsin Secret]

Hi Nicole,

I too work i a very male orientated environment and all the macho bullshit makes me laugh inside. Dont get me wrong I do enjoy some of the banter and work would be a very boring place if you couldn't get involved sometimes. I take it for what it is, mostly hot air and posturing.

The thing I find most difficult is not to fit in with them but not to stick out like a sore thumb with the female population of the workforce.

I have always naturally been able to get on very well with females and find it easy to interact whereas pretty much all of the males are either awkward/chauvinistic or not interested. Where as I would say most would count me, at very least, a close work friend.

At the moment I can't get the thought out of my head about sitting at my desk whilst wearing a nice pair of heels and a pencil skirt. That would certainly raise some eyebrows!

Going back to your original point to be me i think I need a better balance for myself and MissS to come out and play. Being in the closet doesn't offer me that. I'm desperate for people to see the other side of me now.

[Georgina]

Lucky for me , I am always me. When not at work I prefer skirts or dresses to trousers.

[DIANEF]

I went from working with an almost all female staff in a shop, where I was officially 'one of the girls', to working on the ramp at my local airport, where everyone was trying to out macho each other all the time. Guess which one I preferred. To me being dressed as Diane is not stress relief, or a 'hobby' as some call it, it is a part of who I am, maybe who I've always been and given the opportunity it would be an even bigger part. I don't seek transition, but I would love to spend far more time as a female than I do now. And Nicole, I could probably compete with you on the oscar winning performances I've given over the years!!

[ginapoodle]

Yes, I relate. Worked 40 years in ultra-macho oil industry. However, my F brain gave me enormous advantages with communication, teamwork and emotional intelligence. When promoted to management though, I felt totally out of place. I did not fit the cut throat management culture.

[Lucy23]

That's a tough question, Nicole. Based on your answer to the question, I'd say that this is my way of expressing something inside me I have yet to discover. I would very much want to know where the dressing originates from.

All I know that it came into prominence after I started caring about how I dress. I realized girls had much more options (not complaining, this is important) to show WHO they are and I wanted that too in my clothes. I think I have found my way of dressing as a guy and I like it - there are adventure-, sport-, and military-inspired outfits - not something you would see on guys where I live. And then there's the added panache of women's clothes. You could say that dressing in a certain manner is an expression of certain parts of me I'm keen of.

With that said, however, I find myself in the same position as you and others in regards of the macho talk. I have stopped trying to fit in long ago probably because I despise pretending that I'm something when I'm not. Ironically though, I'm very much interested in the topics of such conversations - cars, weapons, machines, and whatnot. But I hate it when such conversations are all flash and not enought substance.

[Dana44]

Back when I was working. Yep had to be a man. LOL but always was a bit feminine and did well at my job. I was in engineering and was a systems engineer. But I would go home and dress. It was so different going from masculine to feminine. But the stress seemed to fall away and that always kept me sharp and became a global expert. Top of the tech field. But girly me was always there. I remember one of my side kick engineers told me about the corporate transition and i should go for that. LOL I think they knew that i was somewhat feminine. Yet i would never transition as I am gender fluid but as I age the girl is more there than the boy. Kinda crazy but I kind of like that and that is my story and I sticking with it.

[Confucius]

My authentic self is to be masculine when I feel like it, and feminine when I feel like it. There are times for either, however in the work environment only the male spirit was acceptable. I didn't like that, but I understood it. That's the way it's always been for me.

Crossdressing makes me happy and reducing stress. It is more fun, more beautiful, and sexually gratifying. However, I want to be happy with being a man too. I want to be an outstanding husband and father, loving and supportive. I want to be loved and respected in return. So that makes me a two-spirit person.

[rockerreds]

It means that I am closer to being my real self.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm not sure I can assign meaning to it, only feelings. It could be that was the problem I had for so many years, attempting to find meaning in something that resists understanding on that level. I know and understand the positive feelings I get when I'm authentic to my nature, but being able to explain the meaning behind it still evades me.

[Fiona123]

To me being em femme is to be authentic.

[sometimes_miss]

It means that for the time I'm dressed as a girl, I get to pretend that I'm someone else. Throughout my life, I've never been able to feel good about myself. From the moment I was self aware, there was always something wrong with me, according to the rest of the world. The birthmark on my face, my older sister calling me all sorts of insults, my abuser telling me god made a mistake when making me, my teachers telling me I was lazy, girls turning me down for dates, the humiliation just went on and on. The few things I did succeed at were never enough to please the outside world. And I took it all to heart, never feeling good enough, always inadequate, always defective somehow.
So when I dress up as a girl, for a while I get to pretend to be what I thought I was supposed to be. A normal girl. Someone who, maybe not super pretty, but at least able to look good enough that with make up, the right clothes, I'd look attractive enough for someone to want to be with me. That's all I ever wanted. Anything beyond that, was extra, icing on the cake, nice, but not necessary.
For a little while, I get to feel as if I'm 'good enough'.
Instead of reality, where I'm not.
For someone who's spent most of my life feeling like I was not good enough, finally feeling adequate is a nice feeling, and feeling pretty, on top of that, is really nice. A lot of people always need more and more out of life. Not me.
For while it would be nice to be a 10, all I really wanted was to just at least be a 5.

[Kate Simmons]

I had a similar situation with a Pharma company before I retired. I more or less just did my job and didn't fraternize with the other men, either at work or outside of work. It got to the point that I would underdress and even wear subtle make up to work. I never pretended to be someone I was not though. I always finished my projects in time, so managers had respect for me. Once I got home , as you say, I was free to be myself. Now I can be who I want, when I want.