Advice To A GG

[deebra]

As CD's we know GG's prefer non CD males over us. They want masculine males, the opposite of feminine. If you had a GG friend and knew she was starting to become interested in starting a relationship with a male that you knew was a CD and she did or didn't know he was a CD, would you suggest to her that she move on to a non CD? She may not know CD's can come with problems for a GG.

[Stacy Darling]

Never!

If the GG was a friend of mine she would be capable of assessing the situation once given the facts.

A Beautiful lady friend of mine would marry a nice CD without a doubt!

CD!

[Laura912]

Sorry, but you are imposing your beliefs on another person about how you think a GG would behave. More simply put, NYOB. If, however, you are asked, then giving your opinion would be understandable.

[Kate Simmons]

I would not interfere.

[Tracii G]

OK so are you asking this question for a reason?
Did the GG get pissed at you for getting all up in her business?
Ii sounds like a loaded question and you are trying to find a way to justify what you did?

[Cheryl T]

Firstly, unless I knew something really bad about someone AND was good friends with this theoretical woman I would Never give advice on who to date or not to date.
Just because someone is CD doesn't make them bad and maybe this "woman" would enjoy her partner expressing his femininity.
You never know...so just let it take it's course.

[Stephanie47]

If she knew the guy was a cross dresser then I would not offer any advice or opinion.

If she did not know if the guy was a cross dresser then it gets more complicated. If she had really strong objections to cross dressing would it be fair to just let her proceed blissfully along until every thing blew up? Months or years wasted on a relationship that would ultimately be doomed? I think back to the numerous posts on this site where the members and the GG's have encountered a lot of turmoil in their relationships because a material fact had not been known.

I really don't know. If I knew the guy was a cross dresser I may ask him if he has revealed that aspect to his friend.

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.
Just because someone is CD doesn't make them bad and maybe this "woman" would enjoy her partner expressing his femininity.
You never know...so just let it take it's course.

And, five years into a marriage with three kids and house payments she finds out a material fact that for some reason she cannot stomach cross dressing. What then?

[Ressie]

I avoid getting involved in such matters. First of all, you would be outing a sister CD which is equal to ratting on someone. 2nd, not all women are opposed to being in a relationship with a CD. Mind your own business.

[Jaylyn]

As a crossdressers since I was basically a very young child and having periods were I stopped started and stopped to never return and then again started again I'd say let it run its course. First off I try to mind my own business. Secondly it has worked out great for me. My one and only darling wife accepted me and I never told her. She did say she knew I had an affection for gals all prettied up to the max when I finally told her. We can't see what the furure holds. In my own defense also I fell in love with my soul mate and at the time I was never going to have anything todo with dressing again. What's that old staying don't be meddling where your not asked to meddle, just like if it ain't yours leave it alone. There's hundreds of sayings but my opion is let them work it out. Besides if it' should turn serious and works out you might still have the friendship of two instead of just the GG. Now if it is your kinfolk then it might be a whole other issue. Just my opinion.

[Lana Mae]

I would consider it none of my business! Hugs Lana Mae

[Dana44]

That is not right Debra, There are many GG's that accept us and we are good to them. I don't know of any problems that you have said.. MY SO loves me dearly either dressed or in male mode. We have compassion and empathy for our girls that some men don't show them as well as other traits. So, life can be great with a GG.

[docrobbysherry]

"CD's come with problems for GG's"? R u kidding?

Have u ever dated a GG, Deebra? Or, read ANY posts here from married dressers?

If u have, you'd know the reverse is also quite likely!

[Mark/Rebecca]

Sooo, you are the polar opposite of his or her wingman. Making sure he never gets to feel the gift of love. What a horrible proposition. Telling him to tell her is much more compassionate.

[Robertacd]

I am not sure what would give you or I the right to interfere in anyone's relationship.

If the GG asked me "Do you think he is a crossdresser?" I would answer honestly.

BTW: What do you mean by:

She may not know CD's can come with problems for a GG.

What "problems" do CD's come with?

[greeneyes]

As a married GG.....I might share with her the benefits, but I would not steer her away!!! If she did not know I would encourage him to tell her!!

[ash246]

Your first statement is a generalization, not a fact. Some GG's do prefer masculine men, some don't. Some prefer feminine men, some don't. Using a false statement as the foundation for your argument substantially weakens your overall point.

[Rachelakld]

Love happens, we should all enjoy it while it's available.
The future is a set of random events, sometimes created by random feelings
Not manly enough might over time become too manly.
I knew a manly man, who at the age of 55 with wife and 3 kids "dicovered" he was gay, even saw on X-Factor how 2 women doing the same thing.

So let love happen and HOPE the relationship is honest.

[Micki_Finn]

100% with Greeneyes here and would also like to add that making those kinds of general statements about a group is the very definition of prejudice. There is nothing to be learned there, and no, it's never ok to out another person ever.

[jennifer0918]

WOW! Not only am I a cd but I'm a bag of problems to a gg. I would mind my own business, and never out a sister
CD!

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I agree with Sherry

[RADER]

I would only hope that the two of them could work it out.
But I would stay out of it unless asked to give an opinion.
Rader

[Jodie_Lynn]

I'm with majority here: Mind Your Own Business, unless asked. And IF asked by the woman, before throwing a fellow CD under the bus, speak with your CD friend and ASK what they would like you to do.

Not knowing all the details of this scenario, I have to wonder about the motives of the OP. Why do you feel the need to speak out against the CD-er? My suspicious nature is whispering in my ear that someone may be suffering either envy, or is just being malicious.

[Teresa]

Deebra,
It's not strictly true that all GGs hate Cding males some do embrace the female side and actually enjoy it , some also like the sexual component and of course some actually like to play the dominant mistress.

So no you can't assume the advice would be to move on, it's up to the individuals and really none of your business .

[Aunt Kelly]

Oh, dear...
Over-generalize much? And why would you, a) presume to get in the middle of other people's relationship, or b) out a crossdresser by doing that?

[Brookf89]

Hi Deebra,

I think the key word here is "friend" when it comes to the GG. If she was a close friend of mine, I'd talk to the CD and make sure that part of his life is communicated to her. I don't think it's fair to assume she'll be ok with it bc I personally know a lot of women who love to make friends with CD's but might not want to be in a relationship with one. I probably wouldn't mention it to her right away unless the CD refuses to say anything IF I knew for certain she would not be ok with it.

[Leslie Langford]

deebra, one point which hasn't been addressed here yet is that as a CDer yourself, you have inside knowledge (so to speak), of what we generally are and what makes us tick...unlike the average "muggle" who doesn't "get" us and automatically assumes that we are just another form of homosexual.

GG's who have never met a transgender person can easily fall prey to the same misconception, and reject us out of hand as a possible mate because they would doubt our otherwise inherent masculinity if influenced by these fallacies.

If the woman you are referring to knows that the person she is interested in starting a relationship with is a crossdresser but is spooked by the implications of that situation, you owe it to her, the CDer in question, and our community at large to educate her on these false assumptions so that this doesn't become an automatic and unreasonable turn-off.

If the relationship doesn't take off for other reasons, well then - it is what it is. And if the crossdressing becomes a deal-breaker at a later date despite all the cards being on the table from the git-go, that, too, can become an unfortunate outcome.

But to reject a person out of hand for being a CDer because of societal biases against us even if everything else lines up favorably...that is both shallow and sad if done in the absence of the right information about this complex subject. Her having access to such information might otherwise put a whole different spin on the matter, and here is where your knowledge and experience with your own crossdressing could prove to be invaluable to all concerned.