To those who have a DADT relationship but still have those talks with the spouse about what it is we do
do you ever think you could just let it all go and say ok I had my time and I'm done now I'm not going
to dress anymore or I'm not going to go out and well I'm just going to change and be your man?
It's a really a difficult task I think to do this, many like myself have dealt with this part of ourselves
with all the self loathing and trying to think we must be crazy for so long. We brought it into our
marriages maybe with their knowledge or maybe not but it's here it's part of our life.
Can it really be removed from us so easily and do we the CD fool ourselves into thinking we can't live
without it?
These are questions I think many ask themselves and once they think they have an answer then once
agsin they question why? I've done it to the point where I just accepted myself finally as who I am
a part time girl in a sense and knowing I'm not really a born female I still know I've got a part of me that has this desire or choice I've made to let this part to move forward in me for whatever reason.
My wife says it's rebellion and maybe it is and if so what am I rebelling against.
I do fight my maleness at times and do wish I had been born a girl but it's not how God designed me so
now I'm stuck with this part of me that creates havoic for my wife and for me as I dont want to move
backwards but to just try and be the best me I can be and if that means I've got a somewhat feminine
part then so be it.
It's not fair though for our SO in so many ways and I get it but can we just let it go or do we just try and make our life with our SO as pleasnt and happy as we can and hope to God it's enough
Rachael Leigh