Confronted

[deebra]

This is for those of us that have been out in public and dressed androgynous in one or several items of female clothing such as girl shoes or boots, jeans, belts, tees or tops, makeup, ear rings, jacket, etc. It is not for the CD dressed fully in women's clothing and presenting as a woman.

The question is have you ever had a stranger come up to you and ask, "is what you are wearing female". For example: Are you wearing girl jeans? Do you have makeup on? Why are you wearing a woman's top? Are you wearing a bra, I can see the straps?

Personally I dress this way when going shopping and I like the way female clothing look when wearing, how they feel on and how they make me feel and that's feminine. I have been out and started a conversation with women and SA's and they all are fine with what I am wearing. I have also had a few young women "get off" by laughing at me and what I was wearing. The question here is in paragraph 2, please don't try to mix it in with my experiences in this paragraph.

[Teresa]

Deebra,
Sorry if I missed it but are you wearing a wig in this situation or not ?

Also has it happened to you or are you asking others so you can find a way of dealing with it yourself ?

I can't answer this personally because I'm only out in full dressed mode, so obviously the question doesn't arise .

[Leslie Langford]

The best answer to those types of rude and intrusive questions is the stock response that Ann Landers popularized years ago in her advice column when asked how to deal with this type of boorish question: "Why do you want to know?"

This throws the embarrassment factor squarely back at the questioner, which is precisely where it belongs. Let them be on the spot here, not you.

[Allisa]

Have been and still do go out dressed androgynous and no one has asked but if they are rude enough to ask, my response will be "why? are you writing a book?"

[anna kate]

How about, No they are not girl clothes, they're mine!!!

[JenniferMBlack]

I have never been asked that question. I did have a S.A. come up to me once look me up and down ( I was wearing a skirt and heels as a male) she said your just doing you and dont care what anyone thinks, good for you. She then showed me some things she thought I might want. I didnt feel like there was any disrespect Mayne a little shock for her.

[Jodie_Lynn]

The only time was by my daughter when she was about 16. She said "Are those women's jeans?", and as anna kate posted, I replied "no, they're mine".

No stranger has ever approached me, and if they did, I would consider them to be very rude.

[Sami Brown]

I haven't received any questions, but I have received compliments on my rings and nail polish. I have been asked the color a couple of times.

[Aunt Kelly]

I have not been asked anything like that, nor would I expect a complete stranger to approach me, unbidden, and ask questions about my wardrobe. Why would they?

[Tracii G]

I have had people ask if the clothes I had on are womens clothes and I said yes and that was it.
They never said anything else about it during the conversation.I didn't know these people personally.
Just last Sunday I attended an even with my testosterone filled guy friends and had one of the guys say as I got out of my SUV said girl boots and wearing camo?
I said yeah so what? Nothing else was said and we all had a great time.
I think if you wear it own it and saying they are my clothes is the best answer.

[Tama]

I have a couple of neck scarves I wear, nothing too loud or over the top. Pretty much nothing much said to me but on one occasion at a Church of all places, I was playing in the music ministry band for a Christmas eve service, and one of the elders asked if I was wearing a scarf. I replied yes, I am. I have a dog named Scooby-do too!...anything else I can answer for you? thats kinda the only story I gotz... BTW, I was never asked about that again

[deebra]

Teresa, to answer your questions,
No I wasn't wearing and do not wear a wig. Dressed andro like this my appearance is male but I usually wear 2-3" heel boots, pretty tight boot cut jeans that are long and cover most of the boot; jeans have embellished rear pockets, girl belt and tee. I also enjoy hose, panties and bra with small forms with a jacket over, and so far I have blended I think. I know it's a lot of fem. but the jacket, upper body and face project male. But I have always wondered if mainly women with their keen eye would spot female clothing on me and come over and ask. Some people can be very pushy, mouthy and rude; they would have no reservation in doing this and I think with women more so than men they feel they are protected more because a man wouldn't dare hit a woman so they can be as mouthy as they want. As males know you confront another you just might end up with a fat lip. Isn't this one of the reasons we prefer femininity, it comes with little chance of violence.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Deebra, No nobody has ever asked me about clothing or anything. But if I go out I am all or nothing. Brenda

[Stacy Darling]

I never get questioned. I do get a lot of looks. Guess that those questioning people don't have the confidence to ask the obvious!
"My nails didn't paint themselves"
Stacy

[Robertacd]

I can't say I have ever had a complete stranger ask me about what I was wearing. In fact a person would have to be a real a-hole to bother a complete stranger about what they are wearing, not that people like that don't exist but at least in my neck of the woods there aren't many.

Now I have had a coworker ask me why I wear girl jeans. I just said "My wife likes the way they make by butt look".

[Shely]

I was out, as male, with wife and friends, when my sisters said she liked the Jeans I had on. I told her they were women's jeans, and I liked them too.

[jessica33]

I wear plain female jeans/carpi pants all the time . The most I get from the lookers is a smile .

[Paula2]

I wear woman's boots and jeans occasionally and have never been asked by a stranger.. I only get looked at if the boots "click" when you walk..
One time I do remember was a hot summer day I was out mowing my lawn in only a pair of "her" shorts and flats when a guy from up the road stopped me and asked me to help him with his car..He looked at me and asked "Why are you wearing your girlfriends shoes??"
I just said they are comfortable and I like them..
All he said was "whatever" so I went to his place like that and fixed his car.

[Mickitv]

I have not been confronted mainly because I try to avoid many circumstances. People are generally oblivious of what you are wearing but teenagers are just mean and I really avoid them.

[charla42]

Here in Central Florida I wear women's shorts,Tunic's,blouse's and sandals. Keep my legs and arms shaved and my nails highly buffed. Have a great day. Charla

[IleneD]

Again, another very timely post, started by Deebra. Thank you dear (and I continue to thank you for your "Why I CrossDress" poem I copied from you long ago).

I am still in a time of "experimentation", having come-out about a year ago with The Wife. Since then I've let me Femme Flag fly in a number of ways. I've gone to full dress mode for the first time ever. My CD past was mostly under-dressing and periodic outer clothing, but nothing to the extent of a full ensemble.

I've tried a number of intermediary forms of dressing and adding more feminine items to my every day look. Got ears pierced, and hoops (etc) are 24/7, as is daily panty wear [love 'em; so comfortable]. I often sport a colorful headscarf, and through cooler months I'm commonly in leggings daily.
I've gotten to a point where I enjoy wearing lipstick in public. Nothing glaring, but a nice soft pink or almost nude color. Just enough to see and tell.
But those daily modes are not COMPLETE. I'm still in Guy Mode, but looking more pretty than a "normal guy".

I am having a terrible time being tugged along different paths when it comes to my feminization (which I want). I absolutely enjoy the little splashes of Femme I can wear in Guy Mode. I'm worried, however, that it comes off as just being "f-aggy" (can we say that politely here?), and not Woman-ish. But adding items to my look is interesting.
The other path is to head in a more Full Time dress mode, where I will only wear my Lady Clothes when I can put it ALL together with wig, makeup, stockings, dress, heels, etc. I am also looking for a more Every Day Woman look. My clothes buying habits have changed from glam to more practical Real Girl clothes.
In a couple weeks I will begin my summer of being home alone most of the time (for about 3-4 weeks at least). I anticipate going Femme almost every day, and in going about my ever day activities (working the garden, going to market, etc.) during this time. I want to see and feel what a more full transition would be like, as opposed to the few Day Going Outs.

[redtea]

Nope i live in a overly tolerant city.

I wish someone would call me out so i can experience the total shock and humiliation and come out ok in the end. I need it to grow as a person, like confronting my fears and overcoming them.

[Sandy Storm]

lets pretend i would geaux out in public, since I may be looked at like a female bodybuilder, i dont think no one would confront me

[Jennifer4cd]

I was fully dressed and had a full set of acrylics with OPI Big Apple Red. I realized that I did not have polish remover. I went into a Walgreens and picked up a bottle and went to check out. There was a guy there looking at me and asked "Are you a man or a woman?
I looked him straight in the eye and said this time last year I was a man"

[Taylor186]

Three or four times a week I go to the local health club wearing black leggings or black footless dance tights with tight shorts. Under the leggings or tights I wear tan colored hosiery and at least two inches of tan show between the bottom to the leggings/tights and my shoes. I also wear a racer back tank top under my shirt that prints as a sports bra. I see hundreds of people each week including old work colleagues, town acquaintances and neighbors.

Do they notice? Of course.

Have they said anything? Not once.

One day I walked in and a neighbor was sitting there waiting for a trainer and I stopped (standing) for a moment to catch up on the neighborhood gossip. He couldn't take his eye off my glossy black tights. But he said nothing about them then or since.