Seeing as I totally missed my point in the last thread...
How many of you would "dress in femme" if we truly lived in a "blind society" ??? No stigma attached!!!
What can we do together to make that happen???
Seeing as I totally missed my point in the last thread...
How many of you would "dress in femme" if we truly lived in a "blind society" ??? No stigma attached!!!
What can we do together to make that happen???
Best Wishes, Paula
to the 1st question- I would dress as I felt like or had the need to. If I were doing nasty farm chores there wouldn't be a whole lot of fashion to be of use. Blind society or not, I'd simply do whatever I felt like doing..probably more so with a "blind" society but still, the needs of the situation shall dictate what I'll be wearing no matter what.
as to question #2- I have no idea what we may do to change anything. I suppose just keep doing what we do, and help others that have the desire to go do it as well..the very reasons we have this forum.
We are a minority so, unless that should radically change things will move slowly.
Last edited by Tama; 05-27-2017 at 04:48 AM. Reason: add info/sytax repair
As Paula said, it is what I had to do that would determine how I dress.
Many of my GG friends dress male when they have chores to do that require flexing, lifting, or a dusty/dirty enviroment. But let them get dressed to go out on the town, they go back to the full female look.
I guess I too would do that.
What can we do to change things?
Well trying to force feed the public with a fire hose is not the answer. the slow nut sneaky "a little change at a time" will be more successful.
Also the side conversation that "humans are one of the species were the females are more glamours than the males" might help.
Last edited by Nigella; 05-27-2017 at 05:10 AM. Reason: There is no need to quote the opening post when you are only the 2nd person to respond
Leslie Mary Shy
Remember this:
You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
_________________________
#1 I would
#2 transphobia, homophobia and misogyny all come from a patriarchal culture that promotes toxic masculinity. That's what we need to change.
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
To be free
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To be free
I don't see the value in discussing a fictional situation.
A blind society is never going to happen and there is nothing we can do about it.
This line of thinking is just as bad as the argument that women can wear men's clothes and society doesn't care but men can't wear womens clothes.
@ Fiona .......really? thats just silly.
Last edited by Tracii G; 05-27-2017 at 05:20 AM.
Paula,
Simple answer just go out and do it !
Most of what we fear is locked in our own heads, society doesn't need to be blind, they are mostly happy getting on with their own lives to worry too much how a guy they just passed was dressed. I discovered this last weekend, initially when I passed people dressed they didn't appear to be making eye contact, but how much would they be making eye contact if I was in drab, when it came down to it there wasn't much difference. I walked past every age group, some parents with children, not a single double take. The only time I did get a reaction was in male mode when I was sitting at the leisure complex reception, I'd forgotten to take nail polish remover and a gym superviser noticed saying ," Love the nails !"
Sitting dressed in a crowded breakfast room hardly raised an eyebrow.
My sticking point to totally openly dressing is the DADT situation with my wife, the problem is she isn't blind and really doesn't want to see it.
THERE it is. The assumption that it's my responsibility to be out on the front lines, educating the world about crossdressing, trying to force other people to come around to accepting us. After Caitlyn, anyone who wants to know about us already does. The rest would all rather that we all dropped dead, and are perfectly willing to help us along the way in that direction.Originally Posted by Paula2
Being a crossdresser is not primarily what I am, yet if I come out, it will be what most people think about first when they think of me.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 05-27-2017 at 05:39 AM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Lexi,
Do you truly believe that? I can't think anyone would rather see me dead than crossdress , if that was seriously the case I wouldn't set a foot outside my door dressed .
I can't remember all your background but have you actually been out dressed ? It isn't anything like you describe .
What I'm getting from Paula2 is that she would like to see all part time CDs become full time CDs - dressing publicly 24/7. Paula, if we all looked as good as you do in your avatar, that would be awesome!
Some of us are doing what we can to make that happen by going out dressed often. But that isn't for everyone. There are actually more important things in my life (for me).
Last edited by Ressie; 05-27-2017 at 06:33 AM.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
I stand by my post. Toxic masculinity and our patriarchal culture are fundamental issues that hold us all back.
Nonsense. Adding a negative label to something does not make an argument valid. I could just as strongly argue that public education system promotes toxic behavior towards others. If not all members of society can speak freely on campus how can we say that we should be free to express our desire to dress free of criticism.
What is to prevent someone with a public press pass from turning on a dime and labeling whatever as toxic?
Maybe this thread needs a new focus: not so much on what others are doing/saying/publishing that may harm us to what are we and our close ones doing to feel freer in the years of life we have. We can't change the world, but we can take positive steps to change our life with a tiny circle so it's better.
All my dreams pass before my eyes with curiosity
#1 I'd be wearing the same shirt and pashmina, but with my matching skirt (which is in my closet at present)!
#2 I can keep bending the dress "rules", as I love to do!
#3 Well put Fiona!
Stacy!
STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
Stop breathing imagine none of this is real
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"
Paula 2 great post and questions. As Tami said, men's loose overalls for dirty work and female for when you want to. Wouldn't that be good for both genders (it's that way now for women, why not equality for men/CD's)? A blind society on clothing would be great. Maybe it's closer than we think, just dress, get out and do it.
What can we do to make that happen; Dressing in one or more items of female clothing and going out in public and being seen and acceptance will come. For example if the same checker in WalMart sees you dressed each time you come through her line she will just get use to it and no big deal same with everyone else that sees you on a regular basis. And yes, I did this yesterday.
I believe we can and should change the world and can and should change our selves at the same time.
Just look at the reply recently to the male romper. Even though coveralls have been around for years. Its getting to the point now where males have been shown in public with more clothing options then we traditionally have had with pants, tshirts and suits.
Pretty in Pink
A "blind society" may never happen, but we can still do our part to change things.
1. Start to treat others the way you wish to be treated.
2. Stand up for the rights of others.
3. Remember it is not just about you.
4. Maybe more of us should start to dress as we truely desire.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
What can we do to make that happen?
Get out of the house in your best outfit. Get known. Studies have shown that the best predictor of whether a person accepts/tolerates a different demographic group is whether they know someone from that group personally. To many muggles, the only crossdresssers they are aware of are the over-the-top drag queens on RuPauls Drag Race. Not my style and also not what seems to be the preferred mode of the members of this forum. I think it's a bit too In Your Face for most people in the general public.
I think we need to select an outfit that's appropriate for everyday activities, then go out and act normally. Imagine how a GG in your city dresses and carries herself for a trip to the mall, then try that. So, no evening gowns or little black cocktail dresses to the grocery store. Worry less about passing and more about showing the world that we're not freaks, just regular people.
Several years ago, the gay community strongly encouraged, and unfortunately, sometimes even forced, their people to come out of the closet. Suddenly, straight people who thought they didn't know someone who was gay realized that Bob down the street or Susan at the office were gay and they're okay people. It became easier to see them as real people, not their stereotypes. Thanks to that effort, there is better anti discrimination legislation and even gay marriage. If we get out in greater numbers, acceptance will improve for us and it won't be as difficult because the hardest part of the job has already been done.
Fiona judging by this post you are 20 something is this correct? College student maybe?
Back in the 60's I was a hippy and deep in the hippy culture (think communes and free love)I felt we as a group could change the world.
I had those same pie in the sky ideals but as I grew up I learned that wasn't going to happen and no matter what I did or how many protests I went to the world is going to go its own way and my ideals didn't mean much.
This whole sham and mass talking points about patriarchy misogyny,homophobia,transphobia is always going to be there and there is nothing we can do about it.
We can however work in our "group" of people we come in contact with most often and show them by "our "actions that trans people are just like everyone else in society.
Treat others with respect and kindness and most of the time thats what you get back from them.
Jumping up in their face and calling them names and forcing them to accept you or your beliefs isn't the way to get it done.
Last edited by Tracii G; 05-27-2017 at 01:10 PM.
Fiona, it seems that it may not be toxic masculinity and a patriarchal culture outside your home that holds you back but a culture inside your home, based on this post you made from another thread. Just sayin'.
"As a closeted/dadt gal, being caught means being seen en femme by my wife. Its never happened. I don't think dressing is wrong but my wife has a problem with it. Therein is the issue."
Last edited by Jeri Ann; 05-27-2017 at 12:29 PM.
Fair point.
i do go out, but like today when I went in to workout. There were several masculine men clean and jerking heavy weights and other stuff. Me I am pretty girly and the girls talk to me mostly. So they will always be that way. I don't quite know what they think of me but they did work with me. I just go about my business and had no problems being a girl out and about. But I try to keep it safe. SO, many people have fear when they are out. But I don't and like I said I try to keep it safe, like restaurants or the theater or out shopping..
Part Time Girl
If you want to live in a free society then you must put up with those who aren't cool with what we do.
The price of freedom is anyone can believe what they want and as long as they aren't doing any physical harm they have the right to think what they want. The flip side is we too are free to do what we want, and to believe what we want. I wish we could have a more open society where people could disagree with each other without hating each other, but we have a long way to go to get to that point.
In a truly free society, people would be able to believe in and say things others would find offensive, including those who oppose crossdressing and transgenderism in general. You can't have a truly free society and a society where people are not offended. I can choose to be who I am, and others are free to disagree, provided they do not harm me they have a right to do so.
Today I would have gone out fully dressed as opposed to underdressed, I have no courage to go out fully dressed and I definitely would not pass, some of the ladies on here look more like ladies that ladies do, me I look like a man in a dress
A very happy man in a dress it has to be said, so if there was no stigma then today I would have been a very happy man in a dress out for a nice walk, but I was a very happy underdressed man, very very happy and felt nice and relaxed
Change will come, it is funny that my estranged wife is so accommodating of pretty much anything other than my cross dressing, but change will be slow in my view so for now I do what I do and I love how I feel
Rachel getting past the whole "passing" thing is when CDing takes on a whole new light.
The reality is maybe 1% of CDers on this site actually "pass" but passing doesn't matter because its you being comfy in who you are.
If you exude confidence while you are out and about people see that and passing doesn't matter as much.
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