Been a closet CD too long?

[joanne51]

Being on the verge of coming out (little choice, unless I have a massive purge). I cannot help feel
that it is a giant leap from my totally male appearance and personality to displaying my femme side.
Having appeared to be all male for the last 66 years, it is not easy at all to open the closet door.
For those of you who have done it, is the reality of presenting your femme side to the world how you
imagined it to be? Or do you regret taking the plunge?

[Micki_Finn]

Don't regret it. The best way to describe it is far less eventful than I expected. Most people simply don't care and are too involved in their own lives to worry about what you're wearing.

[Dana44]

Joanne, Never regretted going out. There is a tread here running called passing. The main concept about going out is attitude and feeling confident of yourself. Smiling and enjoying being out there. Yes It is so nice to walk though this world as yourself and female. It gives a liberating spirit and is so fun at certain events. A girl can do most anything.

[Sandy Storm]

Although I am a closeted CD, except my wife and a couple GFs and BFs do know about me...I do get to go out in public in NEW ORLEANS for the red dress run and a heeled run..since everyone is dressed and it's as huge as Mardi Gras nobody pays me any-mind other than to complement me on my dress or my heels !! But it does feel great to be out in public !

[Majella St Gerard]

Never regretted it, hiding in the closet and living a lie is no way to live, no offense to anyone. I am crossdressed 90% of the time, some friends have never seen me in men's clothes. I went out shopping yesterday hit a shoe store, bought a cute pair of Mary Janes wore them to the mall. Walked around, tried on like 6 dresses at JC Penny, didn't buy any. I presented as a woman, acted like a woman and was treated like a woman. It really isn't a big deal, sure some people will do a double take, so what. Live your life as you desire, don't let society dictate how to dress. 20170531_135107.jpg

[Salina]

I waited nearly 59 years before going out for the first time recently. It was a wonderful, fun, exhilarating, and emotionally draining experience. My only regret is that I waited so long! Another outing is planned in a few weeks and I can't wait! Go for it Joanne!

[Alice Torn]

Every time i have gone out, it seems like almost the first time again, but not near as nervous. It is both exciting, and scary.

[Sometimes Steffi]

It is so much better than I had imagined, and it keeps getting better.

And I've had so many wonderful experiences. Some of the best were:

1. Meeting a CD girl who turned out to be a good friend from high school 45 year ago. She was also in my first grade class.
2. Letting a GG I met with "small boobs" (her words, not mine) borrow my forms to see what it looked and felt like to have larger breasts.
3. Meeting some awesome ladies while dressed who encouraged me to be the best girl I could be.
4. A makeover that convinced me that I had an outside chance of looking like a convincing girl

See my profile pic, not my Bugs Bunny avatar.

[Jodie_Lynn]

some regrets, but overall I am happy with my decisions thus far

Jodie Lynn has really blossomed in the last year, and I am happier for it.

[Becky Blue]

I am the opposite to some, my wife, family & work do not know anything. But the outside world has met Becky on quite a few occasions over the past 12 years.

Going out was up there with the highlights of my life, the only regret is that I don't get more opportunities to go out more often...

[docrobbysherry]

I'm a closet CD and don't appear to have a "fem side". I just enjoy looking like pretty females. I don't enjoy going out alone dressed where I can't pass! Except on Halloween.

The fact that I've been going out consistently over the last 8 years only proves that I can do something I don't enjoy!
I go out simply to meet other dressers. Who's company I enjoy. Plus, being with them quickly helps me overcome my fears.

But, if u r a closet dresser that feels the need to present your persona amongst the Muggles? U should try and see if it suits u. Just be careful when and where u appear, until u get comfortable out there!

[Helen_Highwater]

Joanne,

From your post I read it as you're about to reveal your femme side to family and friends and I also assume the wider world. Many have posted above about the going out and about side of it which I've done to, and yes it is just wonderful and fulfilling. However I'm not out to anyone, SO, family, friends as I'm unsure of the reaction I'll get and to judge it wrongly could have enormous consequences.

So what is your plan? Stepping out or coming out to family and friends?

[phili]

I'm 66 too- and my reflection is that the fear and high tension you may be feeling are because you haven't experienced being with others as your feminine self. I found to my amazement it was very relaxing- suddenly a lot of things will make sense and you will feel like yourself- no tension. And people will make room for you.

The hiding actually works against us because people expect each other to show who they are. People don't want to share in our fear and conflict, they just want us to say who we are so we can all go on together without tension.

[Pat]

For those of you who have done it, is the reality of presenting your femme side to the world how you
imagined it to be? Or do you regret taking the plunge?

It is better than I had ever imagined it would be and I have no regrets. I wasn't sure if I'd come to be nostalgic for the male character I used to play, but no. Every day I wake up happy he's gone. I can't predict how it will be for you, but for me it was totally the right decision.

[joanne51]

I may have given the impression that I feared going out enfemme. That thought does not phase me (at least not yet).
What does phase me is revealing to those close to me this other side.
I may have given out subtle hints in the past, but nothing that may have led people to say 'I knew all along that you were a CD'.
While I am totally happy with Joanne in my own company, I cannot get my head around being Joanne in front of my SO and family.
May be once I have taken the plunge it might not be that bad. But then this who I am.
As you all know, we cannot just erase that part of ourselves from our lives. It does not work that way.
On the subject of going out (which as I said was not the original question). I have a particular interest in outer garments (with quite a collection).
The urge to want to get out and about far exceeds the desire to stay within my own four walls.

[Helen_Highwater]

Joanne,
The reason I asked my question was, like you, I'm on the closet to SO, family and friends. Going out is not an issue for me as long as it's not anywhere near where I live.

I've pondered long and hard about revealing myself to my SO but I truly can't decide if the outcome will be a positive one. Hence it's a risk I'm not willing to take as yet. Yes I run the risk of being found out but I balance my femme side and the journeys out but being as careful, some might say deceitful, as I can. As it stands I have a workable compromise and I'm happy with that.

So have you fully thought out the consequences of outing yourself and are you comfortable with any negative outcome?

[kimdl93]

I'd have to say it has been a mixed bag. On the one hand, it felt incredibly good to be out in the real world, dressed nicely and interacting with people in what were almost always positive ways. The down side was that I didn't recognize...failed to comprehend just how difficult my emergence was to my X wife. She played along for years, but it turns out, she really couldn't accept this part of me.

I'm not stupid, but I did fail empathy 101 rather badly.

[CherylFlint]

A Crossdresser’s Rule Number One:
NEVER PURGE!
If you have to get stuff out of the way, rent a storage unit.
As far as going out, you need to have a GG to guide you. Get your makeup done at the mall and ask questions.
NEVER regretted “taking the plunge”. One of the best days of my life at the lingerie section of a department store, and the SA said, “May I help you miss?”
It was a GREAT DAY.
Never had so much fun in my life by myself, but I pass. Wear appropriate clothing.
Go for it.

[TheHiddenMe]

For those of you who have done it, is the reality of presenting your femme side to the world how you
imagined it to be? Or do you regret taking the plunge?

My only regret is I waited too long.

When I was timidly planning my first days out locally for last October, never in my wildest dreams would have things turned out so well.

Cailee, the nail tech who did my nails, was fantastic. She was excited about my going out, so much I went back that night dressed to show her. She still asks about me.

Julie at Sephora was great. Patient and thorough, and treated me great.

The second angel I met at Nordstrom, Falon, was/is fantastic. We actually went to a Cards game last Tuesday night (me as a guy, of course). She wants me to give her tennis lessons. She gives me acceptance and someone to talk to.

I swap texts with Kelly at a Chicago Nordstrom. We talked about fitness and she texted me that I'm her inspiration.

I had my nails done a second time and the tech Michelle was downright giddy. She gave me a makeover last Saturday and said she was so excited she couldn't sleep the night before.

So I now have met three GGs who give me support and approval. Never thought that could or would happen.

I've also been out a lot more that I ever could have guessed either.

So if you can't tell, absolutely zero regrets.

[Lindajane]

No body else can tell you what is right for you. I am sure some of us had a rough time coming out while for others it was quite pleasant. You wont know for sure till you do it. Of course you can go back inside if you cant stand the weather

[Ressie]

Some of the replies refer to going out dressed. Let's get it straight that going out and coming out are not the same thing. Going out dressed can be done in a different town but I'm pretty sure that coming out to family, coworkers, neighbors and hundreds of friends is what Joanne is talking about.

I'm 64 and I think it would be too much of a shock to most of those people (including myself) to start dressing in public 24/7. I'm an occasional CD and the only time I would dream of coming out is when the pink fog gets too thick. To each their own.

[Misty Rae Pleasure]

I like you would fear family and friends not accepting me. People I don't know I think wouldn't bother me either. I am a closet CD and don't foresee ever coming out. I did about three years ago come out to one of my family members who I highly trust and care about. He also happens to be gay which probably made him more understanding of my lifestyle than most and has actually helped acquire more outfits and accessories. I have never dressed in front of anyone else and can only imagine how exhilarating it must be. In fact I often think about getting up the courage to show the one person that knows about me myself in person in total femme mode. I do have to admit that desire has become stronger and stronger as time goes on and I do think that fantasy will happen in the near future. I have feared the collateral damage it would cause if I totally came out. I believe that would be the most difficult part about it and for that reason for the most part am content to stay within my safe bubble. I also very much like being a manly man. People around me other than one would never suspect me as being a veteran crossdresser. Have you ever thought of coming out to one or two people close to you to test the waters. It might help build confidence to go further in telling more people. I so wish that you can make that leap

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

.....can make that leap. So many other ladies in this thread have said how wonderful it was when the decided to totally come out. Sometimes making one selfs life more rewarding takes courage and risks, but if one is willing to to do so it can end up being the icing on the cake in life.

Best regards


Misty Rae Pleasure

[joanne51]

Purging is totally out of the question. It's not about how much I have spent, but my clothes are special to me.
I cannot imagine being without them. The way I feel at the moment, I would rather come out.
It isn't going to be long before I reach that point, as my stash cannot stay where it is for much longer (storage isn't an option).
Reading your replies I do wonder whether there are more of us in the closet than out.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Joanne, you say storage isn't an option, but you don't give a reason. Why is it not an option? If it's cost, do you have a friend you trust 100% to keep the stuff for you?

[joanne51]

Hi Nikki, even if I could afford to store I could never manage to get it all out of the house without being noticed!
Sadly I don't have a friend who knows about the other me. (loads of friends, but not one I could go to with my stash).