First time out at the mall!

[Eveva]

We were all born noobies without experience. The unknown and plethora of possibilities for things to go wrong when we step outside of our comfort zone and do new things. I think even with my wife by my side it will be a monumental task. I guess this is Murphy's part in all our lives esp for cd/ts/tg's. No battle plan survives battle and no meritorious inspection unit was ever ready for combat. I take great inspiration in your story esp since I have never left the confines of my home. So I suppose what doesn't kill us makes us stronger or stranger depending on what you prefer. Experience itself can be a confidence builder. Hopefully that is the case here.

[Sarah Louise]

Congratulations for getting out there. The more you do it, the more you'll learn about what makes you more comfortable and the more your confidence will build.

My first time out shopping was just over a year ago and I lasted about 20 minutes before I lost my nerve and scuttled off to the safety of my car.

Last Saturday I spent the whole day dressed and spent a very happy 7 hours shopping.

[Tina Davis]

Lana Mae, you should be proud of your accomplishments at the mall! Maybe too many firsts, but you adapted to change and went through with the makeover. And then to be greeted by your daughter expecting to see you dressed, not yelling or upset? Take this day as the win it really is! Learn from the experience, apply the makeup lessons from MAC, and go out again to enjoy your life and journey.

And you know that we are all here to support you, just as you have supported us!

[Helen_Highwater]

Lana Mae,

Before I forget, I've told the large unpleasant men to leave your heels alone as you fulfilled your challenge. (You need to have read a previous thread to understand)

[Debra Russell]

First time out, mall walk, wrong makeup counter, out to daughter, faulty wig experience, ect...ect.......... and you survived!!! you just jumped a leap year into a crossdressers hurdles Don't wait too long to go out again and learn from this experience - plan it out and correct those things that you were unhappy with. Things will be better and much more satisfying ......remember don't wait too long and we are with you.................................Debra

[Lana Mae]

Thanks everyone for your responses, tips and help! Presently processing all this and for sure will go out again! Thanks so very much! You are all true friends! hugs Lana Mae

[Laura912]

Just picked this up. Wow. But you went, you saw, and you conquered. The step you made was Herculean. Or more like Wonder Woman. Now, you needn't worry about your daughter. Keep going. All the best.

[CynthiaD]

Attitude makes all the difference in the world. Almost all of my outings have been great. Those few (really, only two I can remember out of hundreds) that have been unpleasant have been due to loss of confidence. When I walk through a crowd of people, I tell myself how great it is that all these people can see the real me. If I get clocked, so what? This is still the real me. And I'm proud of it. Clothing failures, wig failures, shoe failures, and so forth don't matter. It's gonna happen sooner or later, so learn to shrug it off. If somebody looks at you and laughs, (not very likely, but it's happened to me) look them dead in the eye and smile. Or laugh back. Don't be self conscious. Just enjoy being you and don't worry about what others think.

[Lana Mae]

Cynthia, thanks for your response! This was my first time out and is a learning experience and Lana Mae will grow from here! Again thanks! Hugs Lana Mae

[mykell]

hindsight right....like listening to all the monday morning quarterbacks, woulda, coulda, and shoulda....

this has bothered me since yesterday when i read it. im one of the bad teeth peeps, i get that, but im subconscious of them always....even wearing my guy costume, yet i continue to function....would love that gleaming girl smile with my red lipstick on....not gonna happen, but i got over it and just go out and and act respectful and get that back in return, was overly sensitive of many things my first few times, but after a while you build a DGAS attitude (dont give a hoot)

at my p-flag meetings its a mix of family members and friends as well as LGBT folks, i felt it slowly helped me gain confidence being dressed with a mix of folks i would eventually see in the "wild".
they also told me i looked good and when in the restroom checking out my look a few times i was mortified when i clearly saw flaws, would fix them and carry on.

main thing to share is that no matter how well i plan their is invariably something you had not considered.....life keeps getting in the way.

keep your chin up....dont let this keep you indoors....hope we can meet at keystone, plan to be there myself.

[Lana Mae]

Mikell, no plans to stay indoors! If life does not send me too many curves, I plan to be at Keystone 2018! I think it is something I really need! Plan on more rides and walks just not as large as going to the mall! Thanks for your comments! Wish I could attend one of your meetings but it is a little far to drive! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[Sheila11]

Way to go. Chalk everything up to a learning experience. Both delight and defeated feelings.

I am not out, but have been going out for years. I like my look but anyone who cares to more than glance in my direction can figure me out. I am a pretty man in a dress. I go out to restaurants, shopping (groceries, clothes, and household repair), movies, the library, and occasionally out with the local TG group.

That being said, just this last week I sat for 20 minutes in my car before gathering the courage to go into a restaurant I have been in before, with positive experience. Occasional waves of self doubt stop me in my tracks and change my plans. But I'll go back out today and enjoy the look and feel once again.

I'm OK. You are OK. Just have fun. If not this time, then next.

[Lana Mae]

Sheila, it was a learning experience to be sure! A good experience upon reflection! I am happy with it! I will move on from here! Thanks for your comments! Hugs Lana Mae

[Alice K]

Lana Mae, comparison to others probably has no value but I for one envy your strength and will. I for one have never crossed the threshold and so much wish I could. Your courage is inspirational. Alice

[Lana Mae]

Thanks, Alice! I am glad I was an inspiration for some one! I was out the door before but more androgenous as I did not have a wig or any make up skills at all! If you want to go across that threshold, you will-when you are ready to do it! I actually was very concerned about the neighbors seeing me and what that might entail! No nothing! Either no one saw me or they do not care! (Even the nosey neighbor across the street was home!) No pitchforks, no tar, no feathers, and no burning at the stake! Facing your own fears is what it is mostly about! You will know when and will just do it! Best wishes! Hugs Lana Mae

[Suzie Petersen]

You did good! I knew you could do it.

Of course you have to remember that while MAC is a reasonably T* friendly business, they are not a transformation service. Their efforts are solely for the purpose of selling their products.

Good advise and suggestions have already been offered and I agree with those.
A couple of things I would add are:
- Avoid checking if people clock you. First of all, if you dont look for it, you wont know to be bothered by it if someone does figure you out. Second, the act of checking people actually makes it more likely that they will read you! It is the good old: If you seem nervous, people will pay much more attention to you and will start putting all the small clues together.

- The other thing, and in my opinion this is a big one, is to go with a friend! I know, it is not easy to find someone, but I can tell you from personal experience that all of this is so much easier if you are not out alone. If you are out with someone else, all the little problems, such as finding out you are in the wrong location, become funny little things to laugh about together. Find a Wing-Girl!
An additional comment to that is that more T* girls together does increase the chance of being read, but in my experience being read actually matters less because you are with others.
Also, a good trick is to go out taking turns at being dressed and being in drab! A "couple" is much less likely to attract attention than a lone "female".

All in all, Well done! Next time will be even better!

Hugs
Suzie

[Lana Mae]

Thanks, Suzie! Sounds like sound advise! I wish I could find a "wing girl" to go out with! I will probably visit a museum or an art gallery next or just window shop locally! Looking ahead to Keystone 2018! Again thanks! Hugs Lana Mae