This past week I had to be in the Philadelphia area on business most of the week. I was flying alone and staying in a hotel alone, so I figured what the hell, I'm going to spend the entire trip, except for when I'm at my client's site, being truly authentic. Before I left, I realized that thanks to my recent weight loss, I no longer have any men's dress pants that fit. So I went and bought a few pair of women's dress pants that could easily be mistaken as men's.
The day I flew out was one hell of a roller coaster. I was in a bad mood when I woke up because I was still dealing with news from the day before that my idiot father-in-law had outed me in a comment on Facebook (that's a whole other topic, luckily not to many people I know will see that comment). So that's when I made the final decision to go for it this week. I got up and packed my suitcase with everything I'd need to spend every waking moment presenting as me. I of course threw in the male clothes I'd need to have for the client site as well.
Flying out of my home airport, TSA was a breeze as usual. No issues and pre-check definitely helps with that. But then I decided to stop at an airport restaurant for food and things got a little rocky. Per their sign, I sat myself, but as I was picking my table noticed what appeared to be a bit of a glare from one of the servers. I ended up sitting for 10 minutes with no one so much as bringing me a menu until finally I stopped a server and asked what it took to get a menu. She assured me she'd get it taken care of and that there was just some confusion over whose section I was in. Thankfully, once I got a server, she was terrific and did an amazing job. The flight itself went great, I had a first class upgrade (thank you Delta) and the woman I sat next to was super friendly. It was really awesome when the flight attendant asked me "Can I get you something to drink Ms. Smith" (my real last name hidden for privacy).
When I got to the Atlanta airport, things got rough again. First, I had to go to the bathroom which was just packed. I felt totally intimidated, like an enemy in a foreign land. No one said or did anything negative, it was likely all just in my head but still, it sucked. Then on my way back to the gate, I made eye contact with an old woman sitting at another gate and she started laughing out loud. I just looked ahead, kept my head high and continued walking proud, but the damage was done. I started crying when I got to my gate area and sat down. On the next flight I hoped to sit next to another friendly woman, but as I boarded saw a man sitting in the seat next to mine, UGH. Well I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. He ended up being super friendly and chatty. We talked a lot and he even got a little flirty. I found I really enjoyed it. After we landed, the gentleman sitting in the row ahead of me saw me reaching for my suitcase in the overhead bin. He politely asked if he could help me with it, and I accepted. What a terrifically affirming gesture.
Next stop the rental car facility. I picked out my car and drove to the gate. The woman there took my license and credit card, asked the usual questions about fuel and insurance, and then looked at me and then my id. She asked what my birthday is, and I told her the date and pointed out my birthday was 4 days away. She said "I'm sorry, but I have to ask because well....." and then she gestured to me and then my id. I told her I completely understood. As she handed my things back to me she said "You look absolutely stunning Ms. Smith, have a terrific night". I went crazy as I pulled away. So amazingly affirming once again.
The rest of the trip went well. The hotel folks properly gendered me throughout my stay. I went to dinners at a couple local restaurants and was treated very well. At the client, no one seemed to detect that I was wearing women's pants. So everything seemed to go smoothly. Back at the Philly airport, the TSA agent checking my ID said "Now I need to make sure this is you. Eyes, I love your eyes BTW, Nose, OK". Then she showed me my ID and asked me to smile the same way, I did my best, it was a pained smile in my picture on my license, I no longer have a problem genuinely smiling so it was tough to replicate. Good enough apparently and I was on my way. Trips to the bathrooms in every airport (PHL, ATL & MKE) all without issue. No issues on the plane or in the terminals. All in all a completely awesome trip from start to finish, save for a few rough little patches. So awesome to look back now and realize the level of progress I've made in such a short time