Kelly mentioned some, but I'll add in more.
^this. Often, we are able to control our feelings, until something else stresses us out. Was there some recent change in your life? Something that got you upset? Or do you just feel like this has kept building over time?Originally Posted by MissSecret
Qualifier here, you need to seek out someone who deals with gender identity issues. Many regular therapists can actually make you feel worse. I've been through that.
Well, not directly, but because of the associated problems that go along with it. Feelings of isolation, feelings of being inadequate as a man are VERY common, as we're expected to maintain self control, and to the world, not giving in to our desire to dress up as a girl is something we're expected to keep under control. So when we do it, we usually feel at least a little like a failure in that regard. Then add in the social problems of dealing with being suspected of being gay, the general feeling that no woman ever wants us, and you have the situational depression which is hard to overcome, because as long as you can still think, and know what's causing you to be unhappy, you'll still be unhappy. This is a flaw in the mental health professions; if there's a good reason that you're depressed, simply trying to correct a chemical imbalance won't necessarily help at all. They can relieve some of the anxiety, but the depression? That may stay. So you need to seek out a therapist to talk with regularly, not just give you a prescription for medications. Sometimes you may need to see someone every day for a while. If they aren't willing to do that to get you over the immediate overwhelming problem, you'll need to find someone else. I've always found it odd that the 12 step programs which are so successful, and suggest something about 100 meetings in 100 days, are ignored by the so called professionals who think a once a week 50 minute discussion and a bottle of pills is all that is needed. Then the poor person shows up in my e.r. that night. So make sure your therapist is there when you need them.
While the thought behind a virtual hug is nice, it doesn't provide the actual affection needed to make someone feel much better. I solve that by 'renting' a five minute hug at my local gogo bar. Once I let the dancer know I'm not there for sexual kicks, but simply need to hold her close for a little while, they almost always comply happily. I know it's $20 out the window, but it's worth every penny to me. I just tell them I haven't had a girlfriend for quite a while, and miss the affection more than I miss the sex. Women understand that. Men don't. But DON'T touch them anywhere you shouldn't, and don't try to kiss them. AND, don't mistake they're being nice to you for actual interest in you. Take it for what it is, nothing more. For while she might not actually feel anything emotional towards you, the physical contact is the important thing. It's odd, that our mental health professionals acknowledge the need for physical affection for infants, but for some reason think we out grow it. Nothing could be further from the truth. A big problem is, men don't get it; we usually think all we want is sex. We get a little affection during that, but not enough. So we walk away the next morning, and gradually get that empty feeling, and so pursue another sexual escapade in the belief that is what we need. And the cycle repeats. Men almost all prefer to believe that any need for affection is a failing as a man, that only sex should count. That's wrong, but practically no guy will ever admit they need hugs more than they need sex. Yet, you can satisfy your sexual needs by yourself. You can't give yourself a hug when you really need one. Yet, this need is almost always ignored by our mental health professionals. Adolescents, the elderly, prisoners, any group of people without regular affectionate physical contact of others can suffer from depression resulting from that lack of any source for affection.
