Society just doesn't meet my expectations

[redtea]

Feeling kind of meh right now.

I went for a walk this morning in my denim AEO short shorts a womans hoodie with a pink shirt under with the zipper down a little. To top it off as always pink converse. Oh and I also got a pair of Aviator sunglasses because walking around in public being so feminine is very scary and sunglasses are a form of training wheels for me. Put the glasses on and you just become "some guy in short shorts"

People in New York are just so Tolerant and accepting to the point where I simply don't exist... Makes my delusion of having a girl approach me for conversation seem like a pipedream.


I got this expectation that at least 1 in 20 people are going to say something about my clothes whether it's good or "bad". But 50 cars passed me and zero honks. I walked past a dozen people as well and they didn't even look at me, I was background noise =(


I'm sorry if me being an exhibitionist offends anyone.

The moral of the story, People REALLY^ DONT CARE. They will probably say something if I wore a girly dress and heels in male mode I wonder what kind of person I would be at that point.

[Nikki A.]

Heck, I wore dresses and the whole works in Manhattan and nobody said anything. NYC is so tolerant

[docrobbysherry]

I don't wish in any way to put down your outfit, Redtea. But, it sounds a bit androgenous to me. Like u were dressing to blend. I promise if u dress in an obviously fem outfit u will get reactions. Especially if u r seeing folks close up. Like in malls, stores, and restaurants. I got a reaction every 50 feet in Vegas in this outfit a couple of months ago.
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[Micki_Finn]

What kind of a reaction were you expecting or hoping for?

[Tracii G]

Just goes to show you exhibitionists are so common place that nothing phases anyone these days.
Sorry to hear you didn't get the reaction you wanted but suck it up and move on.
You do know the farther out you go with exhibitionism you can actually break the law so be careful.

[Lacey CD]

Heck, I wore dresses and the whole works in Manhattan and nobody said anything. NYC is so tolerant

That doesn't sound like tolerance to me. New Yorkers are just so used to weird that they're desensitized to it which is an unconscious act. Tolerance is a conscious act.

[sometimes_miss]

FPeople in New York are just so Tolerant and accepting

Not exactly, they simply can't be bothered to waste time talking about all the weirdos that inhabit the island. Remember Rollerena? https://youtu.be/AeMstILsQho?t=37s
He was a guy who dressed up in a bride's outfit, and sometimes roller skated around Manhattan. Nobody gave a crap, other than the taxi drives who had to drive around him.
New York City is so filled with people, that there are going to be a good number of oddballs; it's like skyscrapers; there are so many of them, if you start to try to pay attention to all of them, you'll never get anything done. So everyone just ignores them, and goes about their day. It's not that they don't notice, it's that they just can't be bothered about it, as it would waste too much of their time.
In contrast, in a small town you might only have one or two oddballs, so making them a topic of conversation would only waste a few minutes. Try that in New York and it'll be after 5 P.M. before your discussion ends. That's why no one seems to care.

[redtea]

I live in a smaller city, much smaller than NYC.

I have never seen anyone in my city dress in Androgynous clothing. I have been here for decades and the weirdest thing I saw was some topless girls walking around the main road.

NYC I can understand because it is full of weird people and with the population density the odds of seeing that rare 1 in 10,000 CDer are much higher.

@Tracii G - I don't think I will ever do illegal things like walking around naked, I think the worst it will ever get is me walking around in a ****ty schoolgirl outfit, Or going to the pool in a two piece bikini in male mode- idk are bulges illegal?

@Michi - Idk I was extremely scared of going for a walk in such a shameful flaming outfit. When i found the nerve to go for a walk, I was expecting a car honk or a whistle or just somebody to question my outfit choice in a "aren't those girl shorts"

@dcrobbysherry - I guess you're right, I just thought short shorts were extremely femme as it is a sacred rule among men to not wear shorts that got a 2 inch inseam. I'm just not interested in dresses yet

[jennifer0918]

When I'm out en femme I don't care about attention, I care about being me. So if no one notices me,cool.

[Stacy Darling]

Love the walk!

An Exhibitionist, an Artist or a lover? doesn't matter!

I test my exaggerated styles even whilst doing the grocery shopping and if Society doesn't agree with it? we can have a cup of green tea!

Stacy

[Invisible Emily]

I wouldn't consider New York to be the average place in society. It's always changing at a really fast pace. People don't have time or don't care what other people are wearing. Everyone there is background noise.

[Tracii G]

OK if society isn't meeting your expectations what are you going to do about it?

[Jodie_Lynn]

As a life long resident of NYC, I can attest to the fact that a man in feminine clothes will NOT generate any attention whatsoever, except perhaps, a mental shrug of the shoulders!

Why, you ask?

Consider the following:

NYC has the "Naked Cowboy" a street performer wearing cowboy boots, cowboy hat, and tighty-whiteys, playing a guitar for tips.....

Halloween Parade in Greenwich Village (Think the week of Mardi Gras in a single night), where I once saw a man wearing nothing but construction boots, a toolbelt, and a smile walk down 12th Avenue being trailed by a gaggle of gays....

"Grand Openings" in Chinatown, complete with acrobats and Dragons (12 to 20 people manipulating a paper dragon costume)......

New Year's Eve in Times Square.....

Mimes, clowns, jugglers, bagpipe players and various street performers scattered throughout the city working for tips......

And my personal fav: A beggar who worked the subway, traveling car to car. The catch: the man's body ended below the navel, and he moved on a skateboard!

Ya really think a guy in short shorts is gonna cause a fuss??

[ReineD]

I got this expectation that at least 1 in 20 people are going to say something about my clothes whether it's good or "bad". But 50 cars passed me and zero honks.

Really?

Why do you think that strangers care about what you or anyone else wears.

Think of it. If you were walking on a city street, whether in NYC, Chicago, or LA, and you saw someone dressed out of the ordinary, either mildly or severely so, would you say something to them about their appearance?

I wouldn't want to engage with them. At all. It's none of my business and life's too short.

[Tracii G]

Redtea flip it around would you walk up on a guy wearing womens shorts and ask if they are womens shorts? would you personally honk your horn if you drove by some guy in girls shorts?
You seem to have a need for attention and you don't seem to care how you get it and what type of attention it is.
You might bite off more than you can chew one day.

[Stephanie47]

If you want to stir the pot of emotions, especially adverse ones, NYC is not the place to do it. I'm a former New Yorker. When I relocated with my wife I could not believe the misconceptions people had about NYC. And, that was over forty years ago.

Jodie (#13), when I use to ride the subways back in the 1970's there was a man who did not even have a skateboard. He use to push himself along in the subway cars using only his arms in a swinging motion.

[Teresa]

Redtea,
Exactly what do you want from your Cding ? Keep pushing until you get a reaction and then get upset because you offended someone and they gave you a bad time over it !

OK that's fine but does it help the rest of us who are trying to integrate and maybe give a thought to the TSs who have to live it everyday .

I enjoy my dressing now and the interaction with the public , I would hate to lose all that now after so many years of trying to get to this point . I am more than happy with how the public treats me, it's better than my expectations .

[Jodie_Lynn]

Redtea seems a wee bit conflicted. In one thread she wrote that she was in the ladies department at Target, saw a female co-worker and "put on the shades and vanished". And in this thread she seems to be whining that no one noticed her.

As Teresa stated: what is it that redtea wants? It seems that she wants the best of both worlds: to be seen and recognized as a CD, but at the same time to keep her anonymity.

Here is a tip: If you truly, really want to spark a reaction, stroll down the main drag (pun most definitely intended! ) in the same outfit you wore in NYC.

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Redtea seems a wee bit conflicted. In one thread she wrote that she was in the ladies department at Target, saw a female co-worker and "put on the shades and vanished". And in this thread she seems to be whining that no one noticed her.

As Teresa stated: what is it that redtea wants? It seems that she wants the best of both worlds: to be seen and recognized as a CD, but at the same time to keep her anonymity.

Here is a tip: If you truly, really want to spark a reaction, stroll down the main drag (pun most definitely intended! ) in the same outfit you wore in NYC.

[Nicole Erin]

Funny about the time I opened this thread, Bob Seger's "I feel like a number" started playing on the Lp I am spinning.
If you do not know it, it is about how he feels like basically just another nobody.

[Jean 103]

People stop and talk to me all the time. It just happened again tonight on my way home. I stopped by one of those chain quick stop market's. I stop here a lot after leaving my best friends house. Sometimes I stay the night, so in the morning I'm wearing my outfit from the night before. No one ever says anything more then like, hi, how r u doing. So I leave get in my car and start it. This twenty something guy walks up to my door, but not to close and says " excuse me ma'am". He doesn't leave so I crack the window. I asked what he wanted. I thought maybe he was panhandling. He said something else and I could tell he wanted to talk. I rolled the Window all the way down. As it turns out he is gay and lives with his boyfriend. He noticed that I was transgender and just wanted to talk. We talked for awhile, I told him where my friends and I hang out, that him and his boyfriend are welcome to join us anytime. This happens to me alot. See my avatar, that's what I was wearing.

[char GG]

What do you want? Do you really think women get 1 in 20 people commenting to them about what they are wearing (no matter what it is?) Are you craving that much attention? You need a reality check.

Maybe you should hang out with some friends and you could comment to each other about what each of you are wearing, kind of a mutual admiration society.

or

if you really want to be an exhibitionist, find a stage where someone will pay to see you.

[Carole]

We had an expression, at the place where I worked, for people who felt they were not appreciated or noticed 'Dry your eyes Princess'. As others have said, unless you wear outlandish clothes people are normally too wrapped up in their own lives to either notice or be bothered by people like us.

Most of us would be happy just to go about our business 'dressed' and not be noticed, it shows we have blended in with the rest of the world at that particular outing.

Char GG has hit it on the head with her final sentence.

[fashionisto]

I can relate to the feeling of being ignored when you want to be seen. In big cities, people seem to be desensitized and not open to interactions, at least in the streets. Go to a more intimate place, like a bar, and that will change. In NYC you must have plenty of opportunities for going out dressed. It appears a lot of women are into crossdressers, so do not give up hope.