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Thread: Transition will hurt others. I'm so scared

  1. #26
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Jeri -- it's always heartbreaking to hear about a marriage dissolving for this reason. My heart goes out to you both.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  2. #27
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeri Ann View Post
    Kaitlyn,

    Thank you so much for sharing. Your comments have been so helpful.
    im glad!!

    my avatar picture there is opening a christmas gift at our(her) house....its a very nice house...oh well
    I am real

  3. #28
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    My heart is with you. Tragic life playing out in a catch 22 situation. I hope you both can find a way not to feed the lawyers and allow them to build animosity between you and her.. I wish you both all the very best.

  4. #29
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    I really hate reading threads were the couple have/had split

    I know not everone is the same but for me I knew that even after surgery Nigella was the same person I'd married. The sence of humour, the attitude etc are still there none of that has changed. I just wish some would try and give it ago, some partners might just might be surprised.

    I wish you all the best in your journey
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  5. #30
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    Sandra we could stay together. She asked me what it would take to stay together. I told her to not leave, stay with me on this journey. We might be partners, girlfriends or roommates. She said that we couldn't do that where we live. I told her that I knew that, we would have to relocate. She said that she couldn't leave her church and friends. So there you are.

  6. #31
    Junior Member Rita Leigh's Avatar
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    Jeri Ann, you have all the best wishes I and many others can make...to help along this journey of life. It will never be over but it sounds like your possibilities are really opening up for the better. My God bless you in your life with friends and family who care for you to be your authenticate self. Rita Leigh, (another Houstonian)

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeri Ann View Post
    Today I came out to my daughter and her husband. I was blown away by their love, concern and support. My worst fears have been unfounded. Still, it will not be easy for anyone.
    Yeah, of all the LGBT I have known, their good relationships with whoever doesn't really change much, if at all, after coming out. Yeah there may be the initial shock or normal questions but that blows over pretty fast. However, those "difficult" relationships tend to get worse. Of course the difficult ones we don't expect much anyways so whatever.

    You will find, soon enough, that becoming "Jeri " will soon be something people don't even talk about much. You will just be you. They won't treat you any different. yeah there might be the brief occasional banter about TG stuff but nothing deep.
    I did have to cut contact with my step family because of how I choose to live. That is okay though, I never really got along with them much anyways. To blood family, I am just Erin. I was their brother, now I am their sister.

    More on relationships not changing -
    My room mate is lesbian (and GG). Some in her family have a problem with that, but they also have a lot of other problems with her. The lesbian thing is just one more piece of ammunition for them.
    Others in her family have No problems with who she dates. These are the same members she has always had a good relationship with.

    All this is just my personal observations and experience.
    After you come out to each person and they get to meet "Jeri", after that just don't make a big deal of it and carry on as you normally would.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  8. #33
    Member Tommie.'s Avatar
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    What a thread Jeri.... wow... God bless you
    Enjoy our new life and seek peace Give love and kindness to others Live patience, self control, humility each day

  9. #34
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    What a thread indeed. Thank you Jeri for sharing your remarkable story.
    I used to have a short attention spa

  10. #35
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    Best of luck, Jeri. I know you have the strength to follow your destiny. You will come out happier and at peace.

  11. #36
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    So sorry to hear of the turmoil in your life. Here's hoping it passes in its time and you end up in a place of joy.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  12. #37
    Living MY Life Rachel Smith's Avatar
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    I went through the same Jeri but we didn't sell the house I just let her assume the mortgage and keep what I couldn't get in my truck in 3 trips. When we first started I didn't think it would ever get better but I did and it will for you too.
    My parents should have known something wasn't quite right when I kept putting Kens' head on Barbies' body Rachel Smith May 2017

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  13. #38
    New Member Dakota1981's Avatar
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    This whole thread is a roller coaster ride. I could feel the feelings just simply by what was written. Jeri Ann, I wish you nothing but the best.

  14. #39
    Living MY Life Rachel Smith's Avatar
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    How come I wasn't invited, Enjoy the time together.
    My parents should have known something wasn't quite right when I kept putting Kens' head on Barbies' body Rachel Smith May 2017

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][SIZE="3"]Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. Dan Stanford[/SIZE][/SIZE]

    I used to feel like one in a million now with this forum I feel like one OF a million

    “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ― Joseph Campbell

  15. #40
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    I'll echo Rachel's comment! I love roasted garlic. Just curious though, how do you get home-made yeast?
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  16. #41
    Member Mirya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeri Ann View Post
    My therapist says that the test for authentically living as a woman is the ability to make and keep genetic women friends.
    I fully agree with your therapist. And it's not just a test, IMO it's the best part of living as a woman.

  17. #42
    Aspiring Member grace7777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeri Ann View Post
    My therapist says that the test for authentically living as a woman is the ability to make and keep genetic women friends.
    For me the best benefit of transitioning is the opportunity to have friendships with women.

  18. #43
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    Congratulations Jeri. I'm sad about your relationship but pleased you're finally free to live your truth. I've read you enough here to feel sorry for your ex. Her inability to understand and empathize with you means she loses you. So sad for her. It's your time. Now go do you.

  19. #44
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    Jeri Ann, Here is a hug for you. I hope everything works well for you. Hope the house sells for a great price.
    Part Time Girl

  20. #45
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    heres a hug from me too!!!!!!!!!


    religion.... that's a tough one..
    if she cant see through the religion to you, then i guess in the end its meant to be this way..sad for her too
    I am real

  21. #46
    Senior Member Bria's Avatar
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    jeri, hugs from me also.

    Hugs, Bria

  22. #47
    Member Mirya's Avatar
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    Is your health insurance plan an HMO? Is that why you need to get a referral in order to be approved for therapy?

    I have an HMO now, but last year (when I saw a therapist) I had a PPO. I could just go to any therapist I wanted, whenever I wanted. But even then, I still had to pay $120 per therapy session out of my own pocket. It really adds up!

  23. #48
    Member Tommie.'s Avatar
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    Jeri am working on the same thing with a local psychologist... my insurance will pay for nothing and expressly says anything associated with or a result of gender dysphoria will not be approved. So far I have found nothing reasonable and certainly not cheap about transitioning. I can't find enough spare money for anything really significant and will eventually be looking at a loan for FFS. As far as family I have lost all save my spouse but that is somewhat like yours was... the relationship is changed and nothing like it was... loneliness in the trans community is ever present.... we have to find friends and activities just like you are to rebuild our lives... I am trying to do that now and so far the LGBT community has taken me in and loved me as I am... invited me to things... church activities too.... I see you do the same but the deep, feeding relationships, are still needed to not feel lonely... and hard to replace. Anyway, you are not alone... love you.... tommie
    Enjoy our new life and seek peace Give love and kindness to others Live patience, self control, humility each day

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