Enjoy and remember you're belong a friend
Enjoy and remember you're belong a friend
I have had a couple of offers to be dressed up, I refused because I wasn't sure of myself and if I could go back and do it again I would choose to dress. The most fun I have ever had while dressed was out at LGBT bar, the women that were there treated me like one of the girls and I had a blast.
If I were you I wouldn't pass up this opportunity.
If you look at this from a risk - reward standpoint, the rewards will be great and the risks almost nil. You will never have a better way of getting out with a willing and helpful coach to ease you over any rough spots.
"Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'" - john Greenlief Whittier
ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!
"The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)
Jessica, your young and a student. This the time where you will be most accepted for "experimenting". So what is the risk. Go for it.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
DEFINITELY go for it! You've got a partner to help you and you'll be there for each others support. Sounds like a lot of fun to me!
Absolutely do it, of course wear your panties, bra and heels and at the end of the night and she's a lesbian and you are dressed as a girl it's perfectly O.K. if you kiss her good night. Lipstick on lipstick.
I say go for it Jessica. If you never try, you'll never know. Have fun.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
You've been given a lot of suggestions to "just do it" and someone even said it was a "no brainer".
I suggest you engage your brain and think about this. Do you have the wig, breast forms and hip padding to pull this off, to actually pass as a woman? When you dress up and with your wig on, are you recognizable as your male self? What about your voice?
What is the likelihood of people you know seeing you? What is the likelihood of them recognizing you? What is the likelihood of word of this getting back to people you know or family members?
This is a bit like the "dressing as a woman for Halloween" thing. If you do a lousy job of presenting with a costume wig, rolled up socks for breasts and no hip padding, it will be taken as a one time joke. On the other hand, if you have a good wig, good forms, good butt padding, good makeup and carry yourself as a woman, people will easily figure out that this isn't the first time you've dressed as a woman.
Someone mentioned that you are young and at the age where experimenting may be OK. This is true up to a point. At your age and situation, this is less likely to affect your career than if you did it at age 40 with a career and family.
It's something you have to decide for yourself. Don't look at the posts on this forum as a vote, people here will not be affected by you following their advice, you will. Think about it.
Go for it. Not only will you be helping out this woman, you may find she/the group will help you out with CDing. She may find she likes you as a woman and you may have a future as friends this way or more. Or you may meet someone who will accept or enjoy your CDing. Go for it.
Do it, life is too short for 'I wish I had done that'
Here today, gone tomorrow....
You should do it for yourself, to support your friend, and for the rest of us here who would die for such an opportunity. You only live once and there are no do overs.
Huggs,
Tabitha Lynn
Sure there are risks involved but just getting into your car and driving is a risky thing to do. By all means think it through carefully but if you don't do this I believe it will be on your "I wish I had done that" list of regrets.
As someone who has been CDing for less than a year, I am most definitely not ready to come out of the closet, nowhere close. But if I were presented with an opportunity like this, especially having a girl help me out with my clothes and so on, I'd most likely take advantage of the offer. Of course I'd only go if I could be assured no one else I knew was going to be there, or that I wouldn't be made fun of or harassed by others for dressing up like a woman. I know that I'd never forgive myself if I didn't go, and not a single day would go by that I didn't think about it and wish I had gone. Go and have fun!
Krisi gives a sensible word of advice, think carefully, but I know I would give an awful lot for that sort of opportunity as someone relatively new to all of this.
Stacey
Hi Jessica,
I am very envious. It sounds like an amazing chance for you to break the ice in terms of going out and having a female friend for moral support while you are out could be a real help.
Maybe this is your big opportunity. Enjoy!
Nic
"The only way is onward. There is no turning back."
If your dorms are anything like mine were, chances are high that everyone already knows that you're going out crossdressed so you might as well go through with it.
Go for it, and enjoy yourself. Make sure you thank her for her efforts. No matter what happens, remember that in the future you can always claim, that you 'used to be a crossdresser'. That seems to go over better than currently doing it, kind of like you grew out of it or something that lay people will accept.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Jessica, I too agree that you should do it. Perhaps communicate your concerns with your friend and perhaps she would agree to a 'practice' session or two in advance. Good luck!
Michele
Absolutely go for it. Don't and it's possible you'll regret this for the rest of your life. Someone recently quoted to me; don't count the days, make the days count, which I think is attributed to Mohamed Ali.
One piece of advice. Be prepared to be hit upon and have your, and I assume you're not gay, "Thanks for the compliment but you're not my type" excuse. Apart from that just enjoy!
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
This sounds like a good opportunity. I'm guessing that you and your friend have discussed LGBT issues before, and you have identified yourself as an ally. Have you ever talked about the transgender side of LGBT with her? If so, has she expressed any feelings on that subject matter? If she appears to understand how to be an transgender ally, you may want to think about coming out to her before you visit the LGBT meeting. Having someone who knows and is supportive is invaluable. If you haven't talked about it, a possible opening is: "I want to make sure that I won't offend anyone who is transgender." Then you can discuss "what you've seen online" about being a transgender ally.
Another possible step, is to ask that you give the outfit a trial run in the privacy of one of your dorm rooms, in order to make sure that you feel comfortable before committing (reassuring her that you'll still attend with her regardless, but you may be more comfortable in boy clothes). If that goes well, that could be an opportunity to come out. Regardless, please don't expect that this will turn into anything other than a friendship. Don't think that since she's lesbian, that seeing you in drag will suddenly make her attracted to you.
The last thing you may want to discuss is how you will get from one of your rooms to the meeting without being seen, especially by people who know you. If that is a big concern, maybe you can find a single occupant restroom near the meeting place, and change there? And have a story prepared in case Murphy's law rears its ugly head and you can't avoid running into someone.
If you don't do this, you will likely regret it later in life. But, you should still play it safe, and make sure you have taken sufficient precautions that you won't be outed before you are ready. Regardless of whether you decide to dress or not, I do encourage you to regularly attend the meetings with her. Remember as an ally, that you should listen more than you speak. But as you get to know people in the organization, hopefully you'll get to a point where you'll be comfortable coming out to them. And know, that these groups have strict rules about not outing someone else.
Please keep us updated.
EDIT: I just looked back and realized that I might have misread "LGBT Club." I assumed you were talking about an on-campus student club, but you are probably talking about a night club. That changes some of the advice. There's no guarantee that you won't be outed by someone you meet there. Especially if straight people sometimes attend the club.
Last edited by JamieG; 07-12-2017 at 07:08 PM.
Drool...can we see...? Please??Originally Posted by jessica_brink
I used to have a short attention spa
Wow! What are at opportunity. I'd go for it and I would definitely let her know that dressing is something that is part of you.
That's not good advice. There are many times in my past when I considered doing something and now understand how that thing could have had a negative effect on my entire life.
If you stop and think, there are things you have done in the past that affected your entire future.
Be honest with her. Tell her you would like to do it, but you lack the confidence. Tell her you have never gone out in public dressed, and the idea is sort of scary. So you need her help in building up your confidence. Ask her if she'd be willing to help build your confidence by dressing in the safety and privacy of the home first. Work on your appearance, your walk, your mannerisms, etc. Then try something simply like riding along with her in a car while dressed. After several rehersals, I think you'll be ready for prime time.
As most have said, GO FOR IT! You have a rare opportunity, for self enlightenment and to offer support to a person in need. Don't let this pass you by because you got self-conscious at the last minute. You will remember this day forever, and hopefully it will be a good memory. Be sure to update us on how it went; we want details! Thanks for asking all of us. Brenda
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