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Thread: Dressing and Anxiety

  1. #1
    Member NylonMan's Avatar
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    Dressing and Anxiety

    Hi, I have for the longest time now thought that there was a direct relationship to Anxiety and the urge to dress. The more Anxious I feel, the more I want to dress. Does anyone else feel the same way?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    You read my mind. I have just got through an evening with a distant family member, a nice person, but it brought up all sorts of yucky feelings about my dad etc. As soon as she'd gone I went upstairs and changed into some femme clothes- it was like taking a deep breath and letting feelings of serenity fill me again.

    I totally get what you mean, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to voice it.
    I used to have a short attention spa

  3. #3
    Member Diane Taylor's Avatar
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    Having the urge to dress and not being able to do so can certainly lead to anxiety. Putting on the clothing you love can relieve that anxiety in a heartbeat.

  4. #4
    Member NylonMan's Avatar
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    Putting on the clothing you love can relieve that anxiety in a heartbeat.
    Exactly Diane. If putting on the clothing can relieve the anxiety, then there is a relationship there between the two. When you are completely relaxed and under no stress, do you still get urges to dress?
    Last edited by Lorileah; 07-15-2017 at 12:20 AM. Reason: fixed quote

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    What is the source of your anxiety? That is what you would need to address first I would think.

    I'm so glad I don't suffer from anxiety.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 07-14-2017 at 06:47 PM.

  6. #6
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    One of the odd things about human beings is that we can adopt any number of behaviors to cope with anxiety, depression and fear. Its fine to have constructive methods of coping with bad feelings, but equally important to delve into the factors contributing to such feelings, whether the product of external factors, physical problems, mistaken beliefs, or destructive patterns of thought. Dressing may offer momentary relief, but if you regularly experience anxiety, consider counseling to assess and treat the condition.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    To follow on Kim as an illustration, flying and carving can take me to a peaceful place. Before this discussion goes further, perhaps the OP could offer a more thorough definition of "anxious" which really should not be confused with "anxiety" the latter being more toward the pathological side than the former which tends to be associated with more of an unsettled feeling. Yes, I know anxious is an adjective and anxiety a noun.
    Last edited by Laura912; 07-14-2017 at 03:06 PM.

  8. #8
    Member NylonMan's Avatar
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    That's a good question Tracii. If I knew the answer, I would be much happier. Anxiety affects everyone differently. With me, I worry about everything, always thinking, I go through periods where I can't concentrate, everything bothers me. Dressing sends this calm through me, and I forget about all my worries, it just relaxes me and helps me think straight.

    There is nothing specific that I can put my finger on. I question everything, and worry about everything. But I think it's just who I am. I have often wondered if all CD's are like me.

  9. #9
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I'm finding this to be true for me as well as reliving my stress, especially right now as my wife and I begin our trial seperation.
    Dressing just makes me relax and feel better

  10. #10
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    I can have an eager desire to get dressed, but other than that I don't get anxious. Like many others I find dressing up can be a very real stress reliever, it's like all my cares just slip away. The problem in the past was that at some point I have would have to change back, but Wooh whoo, I'm retired now and can stay dressed all day if I choose.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  11. #11
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    Not being able to dress is at the heart of my anxiety. Dressing relieves it. But it also helps when anxiety has other sources.

  12. #12
    Junior Member taruhhhh's Avatar
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    id say thats probably because dressing gets your mind off of the things that make you anxious, i feel relief and like to relax when dressing too but i dont have much anxiety in my day to day life, sometimes frustration, but not anxiety. i recommend finding someone to talk to about the things that are making you anxious in the first place.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I don't know that there's a DIRECT link. My best guess is that cross dressing is a self-soothing activity that helps alleviate undifferentiated anxiety. Some people suck their thumb, some people drink, some people crossdress. Just all different coping mechanisms.

    And to those saying "get to the cause of your anxiety", often with a an anxiety disorder there isn't really a trigger, cause, or root of the issue. It can come on for no reason with a general feeling of "something is wrong" or "something bad is about to happen".
    Last edited by Micki_Finn; 07-14-2017 at 06:19 PM.

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    Ok Micki I get what you are saying so it can be a combination of many factors.

    All I know is I can't change whats going to happen in the world or what is going to happen to me thru out the day so I don't worry about it.
    Worrying about it isn't going to change anything.
    All I can do is deal with problems and issues as they come. Deal with them one at a time until they are all gone.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 07-14-2017 at 06:59 PM.

  15. #15
    Luv doing girl stuff CherylFlint's Avatar
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    Every time.
    Each time feels as good as the first, because my constant adjustments are paying off in my satisfaction level.
    I dress in order to relax and it works.

  16. #16
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    I do know that dressing cures my stress. I feel way more relaxed when dressed and I suppose the anxiety is relaxed some also.

  17. #17
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    Sure but isn't it natural to seek comfort when you feel stressed?

    Nothing more than human nature at work here, some people eat, smoke, or drink when they are anxious, thinking about that dressing is certainly a lot more healthy way to cope.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 07-14-2017 at 09:36 PM.

  18. #18
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    When the DSM 5 was being prepared a well known gender therapist suggested Gender Expression Deprivation Disorder because so many of her clients were relieved of the pink fog when they were able to freely express who they sense that they are. But the committee decided on Gender Dysphoria instead. Clearly, if the desire to dress is a natural urge, then when that is blocked frustration and all those other emotions will pop up. I feel there is a lot of that in me and explains why deprivation can be very stressful and deprivation is common due to a DADT arrangement.

    But what about other stressors? That is a good question. I think if the stressor has some kind of relationship to gender identity then the desire to become Her can be very strong. But if the stressor is not gender related that often does not happen unless it continues for a long time. Then becoming Her acts as a relief valve that is incredibly calming and sort of like pushing a reset button.

    What does it mean? Beats me, but maybe for some of us dressing is, at least in part, an effort to become someone other than the person we usually are. A way to get far away from the person, for some reason and some way, we really don't care for very much. I was born male; never really cared much for it and wanted to be a girl very early in life. Not only did being a boy not feel quite right, but maybe there was a general dislike of being male. But why? Never figured out that one. But from a practical point of view, if dressing is a kind of tranquilizer during times of stress, there is nothing wrong with that. Stress is a killer. If not dressing is stressful then dress. Again, stress is a killer. Save your life and put on a dress.

  19. #19
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    I medically do suffer from Anxiety and I'm not ashamed to say so. I'm medicated to reduce the symptoms, but dressing and prettying myself up does make life a rosier place for me!

    Stacy
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"

  20. #20
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    I'm glad that the difference between anxious and anxiety have been explained. At one time in my life I truly suffered from clinical anxiety. I once described an anxiety attack as being drowning in a pool of liquid fear. It was debilitating and generally didn't need any kind of trigger. Fortunately, that was the past. On the other hand, I have anxiously waited for my next opportunity to dress up. You know, that's whenever I have to be in drabville.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  21. #21
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Oh, gawd yes. Stress will often increase my need to dress. Not always, but certainly more often than not. And it's not the short term kind of stress that does it, but the things that last for days or weeks. A big project at work, for example. I long ago stopped trying to figure it out and just go with what works now.

  22. #22
    Member Ariana225's Avatar
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    It's definitely a stress reliever for me. I've never been diagnosed with anxiety so I can't say 100% that I have it. I have panic attacks sometimes caused by stressful situations. But as others have already said, you put on a dress and that goes away. You become a different person free from the "other" persons troubles. Instead of thinking about work, bills, to do lists, etc. you think about what color you want to paint your nails today. Even if some don't experience the total bliss of relieving the anxiety/stress it sounds like a lot on this forum do. I think it's completely healthy and a good thing! Keep doing you! 😘

  23. #23
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    It used to be a big stress reliever for me, a chance for escape. However, in more recent times my dressing conforms to opportunity (i.e., when my wife is away) than to need. So, I gotta hope I'm feeling nice and pink when my opportunities arise (which isn't always the case). Hugs, Michelle

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello,
    crossdressing drives the stress away,
    luv J

  25. #25
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I think that a lot of us have a subconscious desire to crossdress; we're able to keep it repressed most of the time, but when under stress, the underlying desire to crossdress comes out front and center, and we have to deal with it. The act of crossdressing eliminates that one stressor, at least for the time being. It also pushes other uncomfortable thoughts out of our consciousness, temporarily relieving us from those things that stress us out. Over time, we can recover from that exhaustive feeling of stress, and become able to hold it all back inside of us once again. Wash, rinse, repeat. It all depends upon how much stress we have to deal with in the other things in our lives.
    JMHO.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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