Are you a Miad?

[GeorgeA]

Are you a MIAD?

For most of my life I struggled with defining what I am.

In early days it was referred to as “transvestism”; then a “cross-dresser” became a more common definition.

So it became that I joined a “Crossdressers Forum. While I am happy here, somehow, subconsciously, I feel that I am not really one of the majority here.
While I dress in what is commonly perceived as “women clothes” I do not really fit here.

Majority of people here seem to want to look like a woman and be perceived as such by outsiders.
I do not. I have no desire to be feminine or imitate a woman.

I am a man and behave and act as a man. No, I am not burly, macho guy but a “gentle” man.

I just like to wear lingerie, nylons, dresses and skirts. I have not the slightest interest in wearing a bra (nothing to put there), no wigs, make-up, jewellery, women’s shoes.
I hate trousers and like to exchange them for a skirt as soon as I can. I have facial hair.

One definition that is commonly used for people like me is “Man-In-A-Dress” (MIAD), (I pronounce it "mee-ad") and therefore I propose to use it to distinguish us from “true” crossdressers.
I would like to hear from other Miads as well as from others.

[CarlaWestin]

In a word, nope!

[Judy-Somthing]

Wow that so cool, I myself don't enjoying dressing up unless it's fully, wig, makeup, foundation garment for shape with hip pads and forms, stockings, and the thing I love the most , the DRESS.

[Maria Blackwood]

Kind of? My crossdressing is private and clothing only (if breastforms count as clothing), but i hate being male. Completely (bleeping) hate it. Looking back, I see now the whole concept of being male never clicked with me.

I just don't see the point (for me and me alone) of pushing it past clothing or going public because, well, I don't really have a because. The desire isn't there. I'd like to go somewhere and be taught the makeup side, but I never get around to it. I'm babbling. Ignore me. I'm a female inside a male who dreams of being a pirate queen. What's up with that?

So i deal with it best i can, find solace in dressing, and hope we get more lives after this one where my soul will find a better vessel.

[GeorgeA]

Judy,
You are just proving my point. I am different than a majority here, while you seem to be a part of it. Which is fine with me. I've been a member since 2009 and have encountered such a variety of types, but only a handful that are like me. I have absolutely no problem with "true crossdressers". I have attended a few meetings of local CDs and they readily accepted me "a miad" as their own, and vice versa.
I think, CDs, being marginalised by society, as it is, are more open in welcoming others which may be different from them.

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Carla,
I am not a bit surprised by your answer. I have been following you for many years, and often thought how different we are, yet somehow similar, too.

[nvlady]

I'm a man. I was born a man. I will always be a man, but I guess I can also be a miad.

[prene]

WOW

I love dressing ... all the way.

Kind glad I have attachable forms so if I wearing a bra (I have something to put there)

[docrobbysherry]

Salerba, there r way more like u than u think. I personally have met T's that wore facial hair, had a man's hair cut but wouldn't wear a wig or makeup, and some will not do anything to modify their male figures.

I personally identify with your MIAD definition. Not because I only partially dress, (I dress for ME alone and want to see a woman in my mirror), but because I don't have a female side, period.

[Rayleen]

For me when I dress, don't feel like a MIAD for sure, My inner feeling kicks in and act and think like Rayleen.

[Sallee]

I am with you Judy Its either all or nothing and I want to be mistaken for a woman.

[Lacey New]

Yes, I think I am a MIAD. While I love to dress up, I do not have forms, a wig or shoes and have only secretly experimented wit my wife's makeup and jewelry. I have never appeared in public en femme unless you count being underdressed. While I would love to go to a transformation studio sometime to see if I really could appear feminine, at this time, I would still just consider myself a man in a dress. But still a cross dresser nonetheless.

[Aunt Kelly]

Salerba,
While it's true that you are "not one of the majority" here, this is an eclectic community to begin with, so from that perspective you fit right in. Each of us here is an individual, different in some way from mainstream gender conventions, and different from all the others here. You don't have to conform to belong. Belonging to this community is more about recognizing differences and celebrating them, or at least accepting them. I totally do not get the MIAD thing, but I don't have to in order to welcome you and validate your choices. You are doing what feels right for you, what makes you smile, and that should make anyone smile.

Hugs,


Kelly

[krissysSecret]

Salerba,
While it's true that you are "not one of the majority" here, this is an eclectic community to begin with, so from that perspective you fit right in. Each of us here is an individual, different in some way from mainstream gender conventions, and different from all the others here. You don't have to conform to belong. Belonging to this community is more about recognizing differences and celebrating them, or at least accepting them. I totally do not get the MIAD thing, but I don't have to in order to welcome you and validate your choices. You are doing what feels right for you, what makes you smile, and that should make anyone smile.

Hugs,


Kelly

I completely agree with this ...Aunt Kelly is spot on of her assessment of the people of this forum...it takes a village and we all are the village..everyone of us!

[susan54]

Those of us who insist we think of ourselves as male at all times seem to be in a very small minority here. To mevit is about the clothes and the ability to look good in them. That NEVER involves trousers and I am mystified by those who aspire towards wearing women's jeans when the world is full of dresses and skirts. I do wear a bra and forms but only wear makeup and wig to go out in public. I then try to act like a woman but it IS acting. I don't care if people realise I am male as long as they think my outfit aces it. So I am a bit more than just a man in a dress but I am absolutely never, even in my imagination, a woman in a dress.

[Aemilie]

Hi Salerba

At this point in my crossdressing journey I think what you describe is exactly what I am, ie a "MIAD", and while I have no desire to wear a bra or breastforms, or to go out "dressed" as this is a very private thing between me & my wife, and while all of the people who know me wouldn't describe me as the slightest bit effeminate, quite obviously I am hence my desire to wear womens clothes and become Millie, I think at some point in the future that could change, I've looked at wigs online and am quite tempted by makeup so who knows what'll happen, but yes at the moment the term MIAD describes me perfectly so thanks for putting how I feel into words.

[Ginni]

I am not MIAD. I dress to be a woman. When dressed it feels normal and comfortable. I enjoy being fully dressed or partially. When not dressed I'm a man. (I think)

[GeorgeA]

Ginni,
You wrote: When dressed it feels normal and comfortable.
You expressed what I, a miad, also can say.

[DIANEF]

So you're a MIAD and don't think you fit in here?, well you do!!. Every ones level of cross dressing is different, personally I am an all or nothing dresser, no under dressing but all out femme when I do do it. Whatever you are comfortable with is your level, there is no set standard anyone has to reach, and there are several others on here with facial hair and they fit in. 'Vive la differance', as the Frenchies (or French Canadians.....) say!!

[Fiona123]

Transgender here. Not MIAD, not crossdresser. But it is a big tent here. If that label is meaningful to you go for it.

[Stacy Darling]

Can't say who or what I am Salerba, and we are all different! I'm probably more of a Maid, but hey! we are all different.

We can all get along!
Stacy

[Tracii G]

You belong here as much as anyone else.
We are all different and thats what this site is all about.

[Jaylyn]

I have been in both camps and depends on my attitude on any given particular day. I enjoy wearing my panties all the time. Under my work clothes or under my Sunday suit. I also enjoy my dresses sometimes when I'm tired and usually slip on a blouse of some sort. I don't always have time to fully dress in bra and the makeup takes a long time, but I still am attracted to certain looks especially the darker red lipsticks. If I have a longer period to dress I can still enjoy the whole outfit including heels and makeup. So my question can we be a Miad and a CD? I enjoy both.

[Nikki A.]

As for me I was born male and no matter how I dress I am still a male. However when I do dress up I try to look as "female" as possible. I have enough on top to fill a c-d cup if I wear a shaper and cutlets. Other than that no extra padding. Whether I'm seen as a man or woman doesn't really bother me. Just as long as I'm treated respectfully.
So am I a MIAD ???
What ever makes you happy and content is all that counts. We are all different and we should respect each other. The way I look at it the more of us that are out and about will make it easier for our situation become more accepted and more mainstream

[phili]

Welcome, Salerba! I am obviously a MIAD, and I am very happy to see the outpouring of friendly inclusion to your post! Technically, and in the simplest common definition for man, we all are MIADs until we aren't male any more, but saying so would elicit fierce objections since we many of us, me included, are experiencing challenges around what the definition of 'man' or 'woman' is. MIAD is where we all start, and the path to our best sense of how to live in the world branches out widely from there. And this forum is where we all start, as MIADs, and try to find other labels that amplify or clarify, and try to avoid labels, and help each other along the way.

I am very happy to say I am a MIAD, and also a mirl, which is to say a male girl. But that's still very general and open to confusion, but it works for me really well as a way to describe my own sense of gender combination.

[Pat]

Phew -- I was cruising down the replies and was thinking, "How can Phili not have responded to this?" I was so glad to find their response at the end of the chain (well, before I stuck my oar in.)

MIAD seems like a perfectly fine identity and clearly belongs here. I'm not one, but I know they exist and I value you being here as we all need exposure to the answers others have uncovered about themselves so we can find our way to our own paths. There was a time I'd have signed up for MIAD but it wasn't a final state for me. Welcome to the forum. Be brave in stating your truth, be flexible in letting it change if it needs to or be stalwart in telling it if it doesn't change.