I guess I find it a little exciting, but mostly I am relieved that they don't jump across the aisle at me, cringe in horror, or something like that, that they can accept it or are very willing to accept it. But I haven't had an actual conversation about it with anyone other than my wife. Just a self-outing with or without reactions.
I'm with Leslie on this one. I don't like being put into awkward positions, so I attempt to not do it to others. I have told SA's that an item was for me and never had a problem with it. Stores are in the business of selling products, if they sell their products, they stay open and keep SA's employed. Older individuals understand this better than the current generation! Older individuals are more helpful also.Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
Never got teased by a sale assistants. They do smile at me though and I was en fem driving with purple fingernails very nice color. Nobody said anything but at Las vegas, a GG said wow nice color and took my hands and looked at them. She said really nice. LOL I was in conversation with another when that happened.
Part Time Girl
Definitely don't get a "thrill" out of it, and don't have a problem saying "it's for me" when that's appropriate. Don't mind good natured banter with any SA no matter what I'm buying, or how I'm dressed.
Karen
I definitely do, I particularly enjoy it when I am shopping and neither hiding or advertising that I am buying it for myself and the SA decides its for me and makes a clever comment that shows that they know its for me. We get this kind of unspoken bond... almost as if we are both waiting for the other to blurt something out.
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
Because crossdressing is my life long secret I do get a thrill out of a SA knowing I'm a crossdresser. The thrill for me is in the acceptance, which I do not find anywhere else. My wife has always known, but her acceptance is limited to the house and generally not in her presence. Having an SA know and accept is as close as I have ever been to being completely free to be me.
Karen,
That's the problem ," Being free to be you !" To me these are just the stepping stones on that road and it happens despite the acceptance level of our wife/partner .
I am just to old to worry about it any more. Girl at goodwill asked if the bras and box of nylons were for me and said of course.
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When I buy bras or panties at walmart I do just go through the self check out stands the girl at the front can see all the items on the screen at her counter but no big deal.
I think it would be fun to go shopping dressed. Someday I will pull up my big girl panties and get it done. 'till then I will keep it DL going out in the evenings. Sewing my wardrobe ( or altering what I buy) If the SA has helpful and great to deal with, They would have a loyal customer.
Brenda
I do most all of my shopping in drab. I always tell the SA the clothes are for me. There is no thrill in telling an SA. It is a point of being honest and forthright. This breaks the ice and allows the SA to do her job.
jodi
They figure it out real quick that I am shopping for me and treat me with the same respect they treat a GG, some even really warm up to me and seem to like that I am buying "ladies" for me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it a thrill, but it is kind of liberating to be truthful if asked about my purchases. Which rarely ever happens, most cashiers don't seem to notice what you're buying anyway.
I think the thrill is in the ability to be accepted. I've shopped for women's clothes by my self since for many years. Lots of interesting adventures. I was wearing a white top one day while looking at bras. Bent over I'm sure the woman could see my bra. She asked, do you always wear a bra. I said yes and looked at her. She backed off and said cool. Had a SA ask who I was buying for and I said me. She didn't believe me. Funny how frustrating it is after you tell them and they still con't believe you.
Sure--if I am feeling confident--I might tell the clerk at a drugstore--or more likely at a thrift store.
These days I shop mostly at the same thrift store. All the girls know me. Sometimes they help with a zipper or give me an opinion as to what looks best. Sometimes they point out something new or special that they think I might like. One of the girls is my size. I offered to loan her my red leather dress.
I'm very proud of all those above that go out and aren't afraid or embarrassed and are confident about being a CD. That's just getting more people O.K. with us, just our taste in clothing and we prefer to being femine more than being masculine. The public needs to know what's between your legs does not override what your brain tells you who you want to be.
I've gotten so used to shopping both en femme and in drab that I don't think about it, and I almost always have very positive and helpful reactions. The other day I had a negative experience for the first time I can remember -- I was in the Athleta shop near my office in the middle of the day and saw a dress i wanted to try on and grabbed it and asked the SA, who was a woman close to my age (i.e., in her 40s), "Can I try this on?"
I expected "Sure!" What I got was "If you really think you need to," with an unfriendly look.
I was so surprised I got flustered. I did try the dress on, briefly, then hung it up and walked out, never to return.
I have done it with a few cashiers, and restaurant drive up girls. I find it relieving.
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Ilene said it for me, too.
Many here have admitted to outing themselves to SA's. Some get a thrill and some don't. The SA's aren't mind-readers, the thrill-or-not is an internal personal response, so what difference does it make? Maybe just another way to pour cold water on those who get a thrill from CDing activities?
Shopping was always a stressful experience for me and just helped to reinforce my bad compartmentalizing habits. I remember exactly what I used to say "Excuse me but my girlfriend would really like a pair of shoes you have in the window... in size 9 please". Typically a lot of UK shoe shops never had ladies size 9's which potentially led to further embarrassment and more lies. "Oh yes my GF is really tall, she's Swedish". The things I used to do to convince myself.
You know, it's funny looking back on that now since I eventually learnt most shop assistants really don't care and simply want your money. Of course I have been in lingerie shops and was honest with the ladies serving me which definitely led to better results, namely getting things that looked good and fitted well. I generally prefer to shop online but since I accepted myself I think I would be okay with dealing with SA's now but there's certainly no cheap thrill involved.
I just bought a dress this evening from Carson's. I wasn't sure which size would fit so I had two sizes in hand as I waited for my turn to see the S.A. I was in male drab and was not about to go into the dressing rooms without their okay. It was fortunately, very slow with hardly any customers around. She didn't bat an eyelash and said okay. I did buy the dress in my size from the S.A. as just a normal sales transaction. One of my very first posts on this forum was how I had to have a gown altered with me wearing it at Nordstrom's. My heart rate still raises every time I have to involve letting a S.A. know that the item is for me. I hope to get to a point where it shouldn't make a difference.
There is a big advantage buying and shopping exclusively as a woman. I never get mistaken or asked for whom the clothes might be, it's obvious that everything is for me. SA sometimes ask me if I need help, sometimes they give nice comments when I try on some dresses, skirts or blouses or even shoes. I think, when shopping en femme, there is not much of confusion on their side.
They might see you as a CD, TS or even as a woman, depending on how you pass.
I was at a shoe store, not finding but a few choices in size 12, when an attractive bubbly salesgirl slipped up beside me with two shoeboxes in hand. She encouraged me to try them on. Two pair of pumps, One with kitten heels, and one with 3” heels. I wanted to say they weren’t for me but I quickly looked around. No one else in the store. I tried on both pair, even taking a few steps. I bought both pair.
Yes, it was exciting to be outed by a salesgirl.
I shopped yesterday at a store where the manager knows me. So far I've only shopped in drab, or semi-dressed, but I am well accepted. I had called ahead to ask about the availability of a couple of items I saw on their website. They had them in stock so I dropped in. She said "I picked out another dress that I thought would look really good on you". I asked about a few other items including a convertible bra that I can wear with a dress where the straps tend to stray out from under the straps of the dress. She then led me into the change room and was in the change room with me while I was only in panties, bringing me stuff.
All in all, another great session. I have two stores like this that I regularly use. Their positive upbeat attitude earns my repeat business! I got the items I had her set aside for me; good thing I tried them, I had to go up a size on a sleep camisole that I had picked out. And yes I bought the extra dress she had picked out for me.
I'm hoping to screw together enough courage to go in fully dressed next time.
Since am full time it doesn't happen anymore but when i started, yes. I remember shopping in seattle once, i was in boy mode and the SA asked me who i was buying for. I told her it was for me. She actually got very excited. She asked me if i was planning on transitioning. At the time i told her no...little did i know. :-)
I can't really say I have ever 'gotten a thrill' from outing myself to SAs, but I have when talking with a gg about why I dress as Debbie and the fact that I absolutely love and crave anything that is feminine except being physical with a male. When afforded the opportunity to discuss why I crossdress and have such a strong desire to emulate females, I often include a line something like this - "the more feminine the more I love it." In contemplating why I get so excited when I do that, I sincerely believe it is my underlying desire/need to have the acceptance of a gg. The best I have felt in being accepted by a gg is when my dentist (female) accepted me completely as Debbie and helped me understand or at least consider that if I have the 'spirit' of a female I shouldn't be ashamed to express that spirit by dressing as a female and achieving as much of a female personna as possible. She and her assistant about sent me over the top when talking about me while I was in the chair saying 'she' has so-and-so going on with tooth #x, and we need to keep an eye on 'her' tooth #x. Not to mention the many times she calls me Debbie when I'm in her office. So, for me the thrill comes when I can detect that there is the slightest possibility that the gg I'm interacting with shows any sign of completely accepting me as a female.
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