Hello everyone,
As always, i am not much of contributor on this site, i don't always have something to say.
I am sorry for the long post ahead but i could use some point of view here.
I have been going through a lot those last months. First, my mother's health got worse, she has cancer, and i can't see her because i live on the other side of the world. I also changed a lot about how i feel inside. I had a very feminine phase, i bought a lot of clothes, wanted to go out a lot. And then it went away, i felt like this wasn't real and that i needed to come back to the "real world". It lasted until recently. I felt girly again, meaning i get extremely frustrated and jealous of other women. I always feel good dressing, picturing me in wonderful dresses, with gorgeous hair i always wanted etc but when i look at myself in the mirror, even with makeup, i get disappointed. i feel lost between the person i would like to be and the actual person i am. i feel like an usurper and no matter what i do, i will never find a place for me. I see all those actresses i like and how beautiful they are, i see all those woman, who were born in the wrong body, succeeding in their fight to live as they wish. I feel small beside them, alone and different.
I know that post is extremely depressive, i know i am not contributing that much on the forum so i apologize for that.
