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Thread: Met a GG

  1. #26
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    Your post gives the impression that you regard the SA as a potential partner. She may or may not view the date the same way.

    I'd advise you to go dressed, because if you've found a woman who is totally comfortable with a potential partner crossdressing, you've found a gem.

    Good luck and please do let us know how the date goes.
    I used to have a short attention spa

  2. #27
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    Ok so the general consensus is to go on the date (and yes it is a date, dinner at a nice restaurant and a movie afterwards, that is what I asked Chris to go with me to.) as myself and not Stephanie. She knows me in both forms male and female and we have talked and flirted a little each way. I have asked her about her feelings going out with a CD before I got up the courage to ask her out myself and she said she likes the whole person not just the way they dress or look. I have a feeling that Stephanie might be ok but I want this to be a serious evening because I am extremely attracted to her both looks and personality wise. She is a kind caring person that seems to genuinely like people and she has a great body too, and like her I am attracted to her as a whole not just because she is good looking. I am hoping that this date could turn into a serious relationship but I don't want to scare her away.

  3. #28
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Respectfully, I disagree. Gender issues are no different than other personal details. Certain ones are not appropriate to share on a first date. Stephanie isn't hiding anything and if things work out, there will soon be a time for this new friend to meet "Stephanie". Now, if Stephanie were full time, or headed in that direction, I'd have a very different answer..

  4. #29
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    Nikki yes I do hope for her to become a partner and I hope she feels the same way about me, like I said we are both in our mid 40s and are both coming out of long term relationships due to divorce. I think she needs someone to care about her as much as I need someone to care about me and I do care for her a lot, so much that it hurts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    Quick question, if his has been addressed forgive me, but does she know it's a DATE date or is she possibly under the impression that this is more a "girl's" outing?
    yes she knows it is a date date, I specifically asked her to a nice dinner and a movie
    Last edited by Stephanie Nicole; 07-22-2017 at 02:29 PM.

  5. #30
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    Go in male mode, and continue as such until she asks you to present as Stephanie. No matter how accepting she is, females like to be with males on dates. Don't push it on her. Let her decide when and where.

  6. #31
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    Ok this may sound harsh, so please accept my apology in advance: Please don't do a movie. You are going to be together for 2 hours or so and not interact. Take in a concert in the park and take a basket dinner. Make every minute count. Maybe take a cooking class together? Be unique, given your current level of uniqueness(real word?? hehe)!

    I would also frame your first date outfit to her like.. I have this great new suit I thought I would wear. Or would you prefer that dress you helped me pick out the other day. Play to her comfort zone.

    Too naive?

  7. #32
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Ask her! Let her decide her comfort level! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
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  8. #33
    New Member Sarah O's Avatar
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    I wouldn't make any assumptions on how you should be dressed. I suspect your softer side may be part of the attraction, so she may want to see you dressed. As others have pointed out I would ask.

    I hope you have a great night out and please let us know how it goes!
    Sarah xx

    Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me.

  9. #34
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    I once asked a SA who had sold me a bunch of lingerie that I tried on if she would like to go to lunch. She said her boyfriend wouldn't like it. Funny part was it was a thank you not a date. On the other hand I had an SA all but ask me to take her out. She knew about me but I was only passing through the city.

    I did have a date with a SA where I purchased a lot of my clothes. She was in the hospital and I took her flowers. When I walked into her hospital room she introduced me to her parents saying I bought all my clothes at the women's shop where she worked. Everything went ok and when she got out I asked her out. We ended up going out a few times. She mentioned that I had bought a sweater she had intended to buy. I offered it to her, but I got sent out of town and she became interested in someone else.

    So it is hard to say which is the right mode to go in.
    Last edited by lingerieLiz; 07-22-2017 at 11:19 PM.

  10. #35
    Member jack-ie's Avatar
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    I think when we dress our more considerate side shows up. I would go as a male but show your most kind, loving side. Compliment her, hold the doors, chairs, etc. Make the first date about her. She already knows about Stephanie, make her want to really know Stephanie.

  11. #36
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    When Jeannie and I met, I showed pictures first. I think asking her first would be helpful. If you hit it off, there will be many more dates. Congrats too. :0
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  12. #37
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    While my first impulse was to say "go in male mode", like most everyone else in here has said - I had a thought I figure I'll share...

    I don't know your wardrobe, but do you have some women's clothing that could serve while in male mode (slacks, top, that sort of thing)?

    That way, you could still go as a "guy", but when the topic comes up (which it almost certainly will), You could admit that yes, these ARE women's slacks (or whatever).

    In this instance, if it were me (if only!), I'd almost certainly be wearing panties - in case things proceed that far, she gets a little extra treat!?!?

    Whatever you do, treat this lady like the jewel she seems to be, and good luck!!!

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by jack-ie View Post
    Compliment her, hold the doors, chairs, etc. Make the first date about her. She already knows about Stephanie, make her want to really know Stephanie.
    When I first me Chris, that was exactly what I did, I actually loved a top she was wearing and gave her a compliment on it saying how nice it looked. ( at the time I was dressed in guy mode) as I got more and more confident with dressing and went into the store more often I always told her how nice she looked. Then I started to get to know her better and she helped me put aside some of my fears going out fully dressed in public to the point that when I did make another purchase, I did one of the surveys on the bottom of the receipt and gave her 5 star ratings to her company and made sure she got the review. As far as holding doors pulling out chairs etc.... I was raised extremely old school and taught from a very young age to do that for a woman as a matter of courtesy whether we are together or not and even dressed as Stephanie I would not feel right if I did not do those things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SaraLin View Post
    Whatever you do, treat this lady like the jewel she seems to be, and good luck!!!
    Sara, she is a jewel and I haven't felt this way about a person in a long time and that is why I posted here as I want to do the right thing and not embarrass her or myself

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    Quote Originally Posted by crystaltvco View Post
    Ok this may sound harsh, so please accept my apology in advance: Please don't do a movie. You are going to be together for 2 hours or so and not interact. Take in a concert in the park and take a basket dinner. Make every minute count. Maybe take a cooking class together? Be unique, given your current level of uniqueness(real word?? hehe)!

    I would also frame your first date outfit to her like.. I have this great new suit I thought I would wear. Or would you prefer that dress you helped me pick out the other day. Play to her comfort zone.

    Too naive?
    Crystal no apologies needed, I want the advice that is why I posted here. I haven't been on a real date in a LONG Time and not sure what to do. Dinner and a movie was one of the first things that came into my mind. I have to check the dates on when it is there but not far from where I live there is a wharf where you can sit and watch the boats come in and out and sometimes they have a 6 piece band playing in the bandstand usually playing some kind of dance music, so maybe we do the dinner and then if it is a nice night we go to the wharf and listen to the music and maybe dance a little (I'm no much of a dancer but I will try my best) How does that sound?

  14. #39
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Dinner, with the option to continue the evening with music and dancing, sounds perfect. If the chemistry works, you'll know it before you even get to the dancing. If it doesn't, and early goodnight after supper is a graceful out for her. I'm betting on the chemistry.

    Hugs,


    Kelly

  15. #40
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    I'm in the camp of going as your male self. There is not too much you can know about a person by just interacting in a store. I think showing up totally en femme really would be a distraction from establishing who you are as a person. Also, if the main attraction of the date is going to be you, how will you be able to gauge who she really is? There is also the fact, if you are not passable in the general public, you may become a distraction on the date. It's not every day the general public dining at a restaurant and going to a movie will encounter a cross dresser and her female date.

    Just trying on clothes in a store and chatting about female garments, and, even trying one on in the store, really does not reflect a totally en femme presentation. I'd opt for a full presentation at an in-home dinner date. If she comes to your home or you do to her home, then you'll be the main attraction with nothing else to distract you and her form each other.

  16. #41
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    one thing I do not want to do is make her uncomfortable or take away from the date, If people are going to be distracted by us I would like it to be because we are a cute couple enjoying being out with each other, not for any other reason. So I think I will go as Dave and not Stephanie.

  17. #42
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    Movies are too impersonal IMO but a museum or a walk in the park might be fun.
    Best to remember its just a date and really just to get to know each other so don't put the cart before the horse.
    I have a friend that if a girl says yes to a date he starts making plans with the assumption she will be moving in and they will have kids LOLOL
    Thats what I mean by cart before the horse.

  18. #43
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    I will add my 2 cents worth as someone who has been there. Go as male. The opportunity will be there to go as female at a later date. Plus as he asked her out he should be the one to go on the date imho.

  19. #44
    Member Ariana225's Avatar
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    Let us know how the date goes now that we are invested in the story lol

  20. #45
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I agree with Lana mae, just ask her what she would prefer on your first date together. If you are doubting, maybe tell her, let's start in male mode or as "John" giving her a chance to better know the original on the inside, because she will not be focusing on how you look, but more on who you are. Then the next date you can present the other you.

    All that being said, first and foremost, why not call her up to confirm the time and the schedule/venues and ask what she would prefer for your presentation?

    A side question, have you gone out a lot before dressed as a woman? If not, first trips out dressed can be exciting and sometimes very problematic for the person if they have any types of self doubt or fears. Good luck and enjoy, and please keep us up to date.

  21. #46
    Texas gal sherri's Avatar
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    I think talking to her in advance and asking her preference, making it clear that you are fine with it either way, would give her a signal that her comfort level is important to you and that as a CDer you will make her feelings a priority in the relationship. She may be assuming your dressing is more private than public, so it's important to clear that up. If she defers and asks about your preference, I would choose femme if I felt it was okay with her. However, all this assumes you are presentable etc. One other thing, if y'all choose a Stephanie date I would suggest venues as TG-friendly as possible. If you go out a lot you may be thick-skinned about people's reactions (startled looks, stares, pointing and whispering, etc.) but it could be a bit unsettling for her at first. We look forward to hearing what you decide and how it goes.

  22. #47
    Aspiring Member Tahoegurl's Avatar
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    I would have an open and honest conversation with her about it. It would also depend on where you are going... I think we get a little selfish about dressing sometimes and forcing our way on our SA s and friends. We look to this group to enable our position with out considering the people we want to inter act with. She is obviously OK with you dressing, she said yes to the date, how do you want to go? Ask her if she is OK with that.
    Life is too short to be boring...Alexandra

  23. #48
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie Nicole View Post
    one thing I do not want to do is make her uncomfortable or take away from the date, If people are going to be distracted by us I would like it to be because we are a cute couple enjoying being out with each other, not for any other reason. So I think I will go as Dave and not Stephanie.
    Stephanie, you've received many replies going the same direction - to go as the guy Dave.
    I do have some experience having met women when dressed and partying as Doreen. There was only one women I've met for a second time as the man I am. I asked her prior to our second meeting what she would prefer. She answered by saying she would like to meet the man and would feel more comfortable for that second meet.
    Anyhow, I saw her as a man, dressed with jeans and a nice shirt.

    Regarding your plans and intentions with this lady, I recommend to take things slow and go as Dave. Don't push the dressing issue, let her start talking about it and learn what she feels about it. It's necessary to understand that a woman could change her mind when she gets to know you better. She might not accept your dressing when she gets emotionally involved with you. Just wait what happens, perhaps she could be the perfect partner for you.
    Take it easy without too many plans. If she is asking you why you didn't come as Stephanie, be prepared to have good and honest answers. She might expect you to be dressed on the first date. Chris should never feel that you only date her because you might think she is open for Stephanie in a regular friendship. Show her that you like her for who she is for you.
    Good luck for your date.

    Btw., my story (April/May this year) ended a little sad. It turned out that my new female friend has some personality disorders. After we gave up our friendship, she told me that she cannot accept Doreen, that was after she spent a party night with me as the man I am. It was a fun night but her problems were to big for me to handle.
    Last edited by faltenrock; 07-26-2017 at 02:14 AM.

  24. #49
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    Oh Honey I firmly believe you should go on the first date in male mode *(I WOULD NOT ASK HER PREFERENCE), after all it's a date and not a Girl's night out. Let the relationship develop and see where cross dressing fits into the relationship with this lady.

  25. #50
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    I would say go in male mode. If you wear anything female keep it very plane and not too noticeable. She knows you like to dress, but don't rush it or over do it. After a few dates you might bring it up if it hasn't come up before. Maybe ask at some point if she would like to go out with you dressed as a girl friend. This sounds great, don't rush it and blow it. Sherrii

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