Dear Friend...this sounds awful but you are throwing gasoline on the fire...before I impose my thoughts on the situation about suddeness of the event for her and a potentially inartful need to satisfy a time addiction...first, let me re-post something about getting busted that reads rather well...
You will see this in our Writers Group soon....here it is...from robbin satinbreasts, she writes...
"I got caught at a very bad time, in the hospital and the creepiest guy on the site at the time is suddenly sending me creepy pictures of him dressed and undressed. I am very open to seeing every human being as a sexual object but this guy was like satan. My clocking was awful. Using this as a starting point, I now quote from an esteemed gal pal in San Francisco:
"....My overall strategy is to move crossdressing [in her eyes] out of the scary sex pervert universe and into the understandable response to trauma universe, or the biological development risk universe, so that she can feel her softening as a virtue, and defend herself in her own mind if anyone wanted to know how she could put up with it and not stamp it out!"
My wife was devistated but her only daughter was coming out as, the daughter calls it, "queer." And truly queer she is. The apple of her step daddy's eye. Consequently, in our small family, the wife is in the minority but she has gay feelings too, I project. We are always talking about trans rights and donate money to those causes.
When the dust cleared, my wife and I agreed that I would put all the clothes in one place and not touch them during for a month. We were then going to discuss it again after the month. That never happened. My wife has a very busy work life.
Also, we agreed to alcohol twelve step meetings. I knew the program and that was easy. That was four years ago. Been back dressing plenty but not as focused on the need to be dressed in public to just desire to be free of boys clothes. I love everything with a satin feel.
Does it ever go away? I doubt it. The only thing that has to change in a situation like that is coping skills. To my way of thinking."
That's what I got. Relax...handle this like a relaxed woman, not a controlling man. Love and emoticons to you, robbin.