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Thread: IS 35 too old to transition to (mostly)Female

  1. #1
    MissSwissMiss LexiNexi's Avatar
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    IS 35 too old to transition to (mostly)Female

    I get these feelings once in a while when I feel like I want to take estrogen and transition to female but only as far as that and breast implants. From my stature and face I already have many female qualities, this often makes me want to transition. I have no adams apple or strong masculine facial features. My body naturally makes some estrogen and makes less test then a healthy female and I'm on male hormones now. Gay men who are into feminate gays often tell me I'm very attractive. But I wouldn't want to do it if I looked like a man, at all. I feel so bad for the trans people who try to transition but they just look like men, especially when their hair thins and they have strong jaw lines and big hands. I could make this feeling go away entirely if you showed me what I would like in 10 years and you showed me a masculine looking trans person. Im 95% I wouldn't look masculine at all and trans people have told me I would be a very good candidate, but that %5 doubt seems like a huge risk. I don't know why but it does, I would have to be happy looking into a mirror. Dressing as a woman as a man gives me a kick but that a totally different feeling that I would have to give up.
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  2. #2
    Queen of Chinatown jennifer0918's Avatar
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    Your never too old to transition, so go for it .

  3. #3
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    I don't know what your obligations are as a male but your not getting any younger and if being female is pounding in your ears and the consequences are of no consequence then I would surly move in that direction - you sound to be a good candidate - have you seen a therapist ?

  4. #4
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    I'd like to transition, but yes I'm now over 35". My real body is quite masculine, 154kg rugby player stocky! I've tried hormones, I ended up with a much larger stomach and less hair on my head!
    Not sure which direction to go in now,
    I'd be quite happy if guys liked me, but as you said they do like the more feminine type!

    So what do you think guys like I could do? I'll give anything a go (within reason). I can't even dress feminine as I'd look ridiculous!
    Last edited by Stacy Darling; 07-24-2017 at 11:58 AM.
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  5. #5
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    No, 35 is not too late to transition. We have people in the forum who have transitioned at twice that age. But I'm a little confused because this morning you were coming out (strongly) as a transvestite and saying

    I look like a man, I might buy wigs, but I'm a man in a dress.
    I think maybe you should take some time to figure yourself out. What are your goals? What is your life going to be like if you travel this path you say you want?

    If you have gone through male puberty, there are indelible marks. You have to be able to live with that. And the physical part of the game is the least challenging -- it's the mental game that's going to determine if you have a successful transition. You have friends and family you'll have to deal with. If your parents are still alive how are you going to be at their funerals? If you have siblings or children how are you going to be at their weddings? How are you going to interact with nieces, nephews and grandchildren? What's your next job interview going to be like? What's your plan for TSA when you fly? When the 9 year-old asks if you're a boy or a girl, what are you going to say?

    Surgeries, hormones, document changes -- they all have a beginning and an end. Sooner or later you've had the last surgery, changed the last document. At some point you'll realize you've been given the life you asked for and you're going to have to live it. Then what?
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  6. #6
    Reality Check
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    "IS 35 too old to transition to (mostly)Female "

    You can't be "mostly female". Well you can but you'll be considered a "freak" by most people. It's all or nothing. And it's for the rest of your life.

    Transitioning is the biggest step you will take in your life and it's not a decision you can take back. To start with, asking your question on a crossdressing forum is a mistake. If you're serious, ask it on a transsexual forum. Get replies by people who have actually done this and have experience as a living, breathing transsexual.

    Not looking masculine is not a reason for transitioning.

  7. #7
    Junior Member rebecca34's Avatar
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    It's natural to focus on the 5%. Do 'we' focus on the 5%? Absolutely, cos we don't want to be in it.

    Honey there is no such thing as too old. There was a story in our local paper a couple of years back about a young lady of 74 who transitioned. She had waited almost her whole life to be the person she knew she really was, and still went through with it.

    Do it. At 44, there are times when I wish I had.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Jenna Stunned's Avatar
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    I sure hope not as Im 35 and just starting my transition. I wish I started it earlier as I have been thinking about it for years, But there is no time like the present.

  9. #9
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    I just spent an afternoon with 4 people all in transition and all of them were over 50, some didn't start until they were in their 60's. Age is not the issue, your understanding of your needs and desires is the key here.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  10. #10
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    You have self-described as a soon-to-be-out-&-proud transvestite. What do you plan to transition into and more importantly, why on Earth would you consider such a thing if you are not a woman at the very core of your being???
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
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  11. #11
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    Lexi,
    You are governed only by your own feelings and the attitude of the clinic you may attend when you want to go further.
    In a conversation with a TS at my social group she told me in her clinic they will consider transition even on people in their eighties. On the NHS they may not be priority cases but wouldn't be ignored.

    The important question is do I need it enough ? Age is irrelevant , it hits people of all ages, now in my sixties it's a serious question I still can't honestly answer.

    The need to transition isn't selective the fact you don't look feminine has little relevance , maybe your comments were a little harsh on TSs , no matter what you look like it's bringing mind and body into alignment that is the overriding factor. If you have serious GD then you eventually have very little choice. The sexual side to many TSs is of less importance , some hope to stay in marriages and achieve it more as companions .
    Last edited by Teresa; 07-24-2017 at 03:18 PM.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I watched a video on a 70 year old male that did the whole thing and his family supported him. He went all he way.so If you are 35 that is half of that age He was a doctor and had to wait until he retired. So if you are going to do it. Don't wait that long.
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  13. #13
    Reality Check
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    re: Age of transitioning:

    As we get older, surgery gets more difficult and more risky. For many older people, existing medical conditions make SRS surgery very risky and many doctors will refuse to perform the surgery on those people.

    Another issue, a practical one is, How much time do you have left on this earth to reap the benefits of transition. None of us know how long we have left but the older we get, the less time we have. It would be a shame to go to the expense and pain of transition and die a year later.

    Surgery and transition will be easier and have better results at age twenty than at age seventy.

  14. #14
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    It's comforting somewhat to be too old to worry about transitioning. I'm just happy to be a man in a dress at my age. Don't plan on being out but relaxing from time to time by dressing up. At 35 if I'd have not had a big family and a job I loved I might have had thoughts about the transition because I've always knew there was something inside me that enjoyed the wearing of clothing and makeup of the opposite sex. I would say if are considering this that you go for it. Live your life as you wish after all it's your life and you have that right as long as it doesn't hurt any one else.

  15. #15
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sara Jessica View Post
    why on Earth would you consider such a thing if you are not a woman at the very core of your being???
    This is it. This is the only reason for transitioning. It has very little to do with the clothes. It has everything to do with experiencing life authentically. My therapist has a patient that is 80. She didn't want to die without being the woman she always felt she was. My mom passed a few months ago at age 99. I may live that long too. If I do that will be 33 more years of really living for the first time in my life. If you do not understand these things, you do not need to even consider transitioning.

  16. #16
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Put me in the puzzled group to. This morning, you're a "transvestite", and now you're talking about transition. You definitely need to take some time, get some help, and sort things out. Wherever you end up, you'll have far fewer doubts and fell better about yourself.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    There is a classic one liner that I am going to use out of its original context but it applies perfectly here... "You are only as old as the woman you feel" i.e. you are never too old to transition.. I know of people who have done so in their 70's.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  18. #18
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    hmmm I was 60
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  19. #19
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    No, 35 is not too old, many (if not most) transition later than that.

    However, just because you are a "good candidate" (whatever that is) for (transsexual) transition doesn't mean you should transition. There are plenty of men of small stature, or who have little facial hair etc. that are not transsexuals.

  20. #20
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Admittedly, the only transsexuals I've spoken to, were those who were under a lot of mental stress, so they may not be good examples of those who are out there and have disappeared into society. However....
    OK. Look at Caitlyn Jenner. That's most likely the best you could achieve, because she had financial resources that few others have. Post transition, to most people, you will probably forever be known as 'the transexual' to people who aren't your friends. And post op, your friends, coworkers and relatives will automatically think of you first as a MTF transsexual, before anything else. You will not be viewed as a GG by them. And, sure, there will always be some guy out there that wants to have sex with you. But they probably won't want any kind of relationship. GG's? The number of GG's who are interested in MTF transsexuals is even lower than the number of GG's who are interested in crossdressers, essentially NONE.

    You really have to consider what you expect your life to be after you transition. Because once past puberty, if you think you're going to walk into a life of an attractive GG once you finish transitioning, that's not going to happen. If you have a therapist, talk to them. If you don't, then get one.

    Lots of us dream about transitioning, and becoming the beautiful woman of our dreams. Doesn't happen any more often than winning the powerball. That's what, one in 178 million? Sure, you can delude yourself into believing anything, but at the end of the day, we'll still have to look in the mirror and see reality. But we're not able to become a normal woman. We simply don't have the upbringing, the voice, or the 'Original Equipment Manufacturer' parts. Surgery can do a lot, but there are simply some things that cannot be changed; Scent, for example, is a dead give away no matter how good you look, or how good your surgery is. Don't believe me? Ask any group of men how they feel about post operative MTF transsexuals. But I think you already know the answer.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  21. #21
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    I don't think this post is about whether or not you personally are prepared or ready to transition. I will answer the question of age and if 35 is too old to transition. I'm still considering it at nearly 50 and you can imagine how much I'm wishing it happend sooner. If it's right for you you're never too old to be yourself.

  22. #22
    Senior Member 5150 Girl's Avatar
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    Wasn't Cait 62?

  23. #23
    Member alesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 5150 Girl View Post
    Wasn't Cait 62?
    She's 67 now and was 65 when she came out publicly.

  24. #24
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    Great post Lexi! Lots of stuff we all think about and to think about.👍❤

  25. #25
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    The one person that comes to mind is Janet of Janets Closet. As for not having bottom surgery, you will have time to figure that out as there is a lot to do before you get there. Boyfriends, most of my boyfriends are bisexual and love me the way I am. The couple that are gay prefer that I don't dress. One would like it if I transitioned. Bottom line you need to follow your own path and do what will make you happy.

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