Leanne, your wife might have had that dream or she might have made it up just to get your reaction. You'll never know.
And the practical part - you wouldn't have to leave her to live your life as a woman. That is of course, if she would go along with it. Just for kicks, why not ask her?
Another thought, oversimplified, Freud's treatise on dreams is they are...many times "wishes and fears". How many of us have had dreams of wishing for something we want or fears...like getting caught? I have. With so relatively little known about us, I can see a wife having a "fearful" dream. In the beginning, while my wife totally supports and helps me, she's had them...not often. We'd discuss them, which helped to eliminate the "fear dreams". Living in a smaller town, getting caught/read is our #1 fear.
I agree , my wife knows about my crossdressing yet she hates it when i dress ,,,she always told me that she feel that there is a competition between two women because i look lovely and more sometimes ...
Cross-dressing is a cross between woman's soul and man's heart.....
When a GG looks at this forum, she sees all the variations on CDing. There are the occasional - take it or leave it people, the ones who do it more and more as time goes on, all the way to those that escalate to the point of transitioning. You may want to let her know where you are on the spectrum. It may help her know what is in the possible future.
Not to diminish the feelings at all, but everyone has dreams that can be linked to something that makes little or no sense. This past weekend, there was a marathon of the "Harry Potter" movies and we watched part of one before going to bed. Wife woke the next morning having fought "Deatheaters" in her dreams. My point is, that sometimes these things are linked to our subconscious and other times . . . well, who knows. And remember, the psychological analysis you get on this thread is worth every bit of theyou paid for it.
Last edited by Territx; 08-18-2017 at 10:18 AM. Reason: typo
My immediate thought, exactly.Originally Posted by Krisi
But regardless, I suppose it doesn't really matter. What does matter, is that she brought up the subject...
I don't think her dream was anything out of the ordinary. Everyone has a weird dream. Probably every night. Telling you she had that dream, whether she actually did or not, is her way of expressing her fear....losing her husband.
She's had the same dream a number of times now, she says I left her to live my life as a woman,,,, ain't gonna happen! To be fair, I've had dreams or nightmares to be precise of her leaving me, I have no idea where these insecurities are coming from, we're otherwise very happily married and solid as a rock.
As I posted above, you wouldn't have to leave her to live your wife as a woman. Tell her that if you wanted to live your life as a woman you would stay with her and both be lesbians. Se how she reacts to that.
It's a perfectly human thing your wife is dealing with. No matter how well you know and trust someone, you can't ever really know everything that's in their heart, and that's where normal fears and insecurities can creep in. Just to illustrate:
I've been with my wife since 92, when I was 13, with her aware and supportive of my lifestyle from day one; I've lived exclusively as a woman since 98, even to wearing a wedding dress to ceremony and reception when we got married. Still, after all these years, even though in her head she knows I'm 100% committed to and happy with her, she will still have moments of insecurity once a year or so where she'll question whether she can truly be enough for me and whether I won't eventually want to find a man to treat me more "like a woman". See, logically she knows that it doesn't take a man for a woman to feel like a woman, and that even were we not together I'd have no interest in men, but that old insipid programming of the standard men-with-women societal norms that's drilled into us in childhood sneaks in through the cracks to play on vulnerabilities and fears in ways that have nothing to do with logic and reason.
Even though after so many years my knee jerk reaction is to feel affronted, like "how can you not trust me?", I remind myself that fears aren't based on logic, and that not only does her periodic fear not mean she doesn't trust me but that her sharing that fear with me proves that she does in fact trust me. From there it's a simple matter to remind her in word and deed that she's all I ever wanted or dared hope for.
And on the very rare occasions when her fear is that I'll want to experience being with a man sexually, we found that allowing her to assume the role of a man via a prosthetic has the dual effect of A) calming her fear because she has addressed the desire she was afraid I might develop, and B) gives her a unique sense of control and confidence born of having been granted the most intimate possible form of trust in surrendering my body to her, which has the effect of being the insecurities that created her fears in the first place. So whether it's as simple as a few words spoken or as involved as a physical demonstration of commitment, all a fearful wife really needs is to be reassured that she's enough for you and fulfills all your needs, because her fear isn't really about what you might do, it's about her doubting her ability to be what you need. Which is silly, really, because most wives/SO's are already stronger and more capable than we will ever be.. 😊
Perhaps you and your wife should sit down over a cup of coffee/tea and discuss each others dreams. The insecurity probably is coming from the fact cross dressing is something out of the ordinary in any marriage. Perhaps you have been creeping steadily down the cross dressing continuum and it has come of concern for her.
I know when I started all I did was wear a nightgown on occasion. Then it was slips and panties. Then add a bra. Then came the heels. Then came dresses. Then the wig. I just did not show up one day fully en femme. It was seemingly at a glacial pace. First it was hiding behind the drawn drapes. Then it was evening drives. Then it was day trips to the mall. And, so on. If a woman remembers what was happening when cross dressing first started and compares it to the current, she may truly have some concerns.
To tell you about her dreams does suggest to me having that cup of coffee together is in order.
This is a very real issue for my wife. For her she says it's not so much a fear but an uncertainty of the future.
One thing my wife cannot fully understand is how there isn't a choice in all this, at least in how I feel and relate to gender.
I've told my wife numerous times that regardless of what, or how, I would always want to be with her. If I was to transition I would still want to be with her, but also knowing she cannot be with me as a woman. So giving her up wouldn't be a choice between her or my own womanhood.
Truth be told, as time goes on, my own acceptance brings my femininity to more of a dominance. That isn't changing my view of the future, which doesn't include transition, but my femininity is slowly becoming a bigger part of who I am.
As with so many others, it isn't always static, there are times when I feel it stronger than other times. But I guess, actually I know that each time I go through one of these stronger phases, a little more feminitiy stays behind. So over time she is truly seeing me as more and more feminine. So her feelings have a validity to them.
She will recognize my higher feminine energy and wonders if this time it will take over completely, or how much more gets left behind, basically how much more feminine I will become, and if or when she feels that transition or not, will she lose the man she married, and I truly cannot give her any solid answers to that. That too adds to hee uncertainty, and while I still have no plans to transition, I'm not able to help much to her feeling any security with all this.
Leanne. My wife has known Cheryl for many years. She knows that I wouldn't transition yet it does bother her at times. I don't have any idea what pulls her trigger to make her think that I might at times. After she thinks about what she thought she is very apologetic. My only thought is that of the bigotry of some people might have worn off.
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