Hesitant to Shave Face

[Brie84]

While I enjoy wearing dresses, I find that I enjoy the way that I look a lot more when I do the total package including breast forms, wig and makeup. I've gotten better about applying makeup but still have a ways to go.

The problem for me is that I'm not clean shaven; I have not been clean shaven since college (15 years ago). I don't have a whole lot of of facial hair (goatee and a thin beard) but enough where people would notice a difference if it wasn't there. Quite frankly, I'm nervous about how I'll look (even in guy mode) with no facial hair and I'm scared I won't like it. I do think that my guy look is attractive to women my age and I try to keep it up in case I do meet someone randomly so I don't want to get rid of it. Also, I'm worried about what coworkers will say when they see me clean shaven for the first time and my family as well (they live close by and I'm worried they'll think something is up).

This morning, I did a glam session in my apartment and for the first time, I was ecstatic about my look. The makeup looked better and I felt prettier than I ever had before. The pictures I took earlier today really have me excited and in my mind I'm dying to see what my look will be with a clean face and full makeup. But my insecurities about what others will think (and how I think I'll look) gives me pause on doing the shave.

I'm sure others have dealt with the same thing. How did you deal with it? Did family and coworkers notice and say something?

~ Brie

[Ariana225]

I am in the same dilemma. I know I'd look way different without facial hair. My wife loves it and I love it in guy mode. I'll probably always be a miad with as far as I can go without shaving it off. Maybe one day when I get older.

[Krea]

Why not just go for the clean shaven look and see how you think it goes with your desired image.
Chances are no one will comment either way. I vary between rough & smooth regularly and no one pays any attention.
In any case it will very quickly grow back if you want it again.

[Teresa]

Brie,
This question often arises , sorry but makeup and facial don't do it for me, to me it's still a contradiction ! Why waste money on makeup when you can't apply it correctly because you have facial hair ?

I have never had facial hair and do need to shave twice in a day if I'm going out dressed for the evening .

I have to admit I'm biased on this subject, my father had a beard which he hid behind, he was an overbearing bully, I can't help relating the two so I really don't like beards .

I can't understand the comment of being afraid to shave facial hair off, it's your body you have the right .

[JocelynJames]

I was the same until I came out to my wife 6 years ago. Usually shaved maybe once a week but sometimes went a month. When I came out I decided i needed a change. I think I've missed 3 days since then. Nobody ever questioned it and I am often told I look younger than I am. Having the beard does create a difference so when you do shave and go out en femme, no one will recognize you.

[Crystal 42]

I'm with Teresa on this because using the makeup is a waste when you have facial hair and the good stuff isn't cheap at all. It's entirely your choice to make of course. However if getting rid of the beard is going to lead to questions the best thing to say is "It made me look too old and I felt it was time for change".

[RADER]

Brie:
I have had a Mustache for over 45 years, And like you, I am afraid to shave it off.
Everybody knows me, and my Mustache, it is my trade mark. I found a face mask with a wig
like some others wear on the forum. But to dress up, put on the mask and go out?????
I do not think so.
So I guess I will remain house bound, and just enjoy my dressing. I do not think I could pass
in a million years, I am built like a lumber jack; 6'2" and 350 lbs. Big arms and hands; worked
construction all my life and I have the worn out body to prove it.
But I am wearing a dress and enjoying my Sunday.
rader

[Micki_Finn]

What can it hurt to do it once? Worst case scenario, you don't like it and let the beard grow in. If your coworkers are too nosy just tell them it got too hot and itchy for the summer, or you were trimming and messed up yourgoatee and decided to shave and start over or something.

[JenniferMBlack]

This is one thing where poeple actually noticed. When I shaved my goatee off but no negative comments and no one thinking oh he is trying to look more feminine. A lot of poeple where like why do you look so different, but they only knew me with a goatee. If anyone asks just say you wanted to try something different thats all the explanation they will need.

[Brie84]

I appreciate everyone's feedback so far! I think it's more of just worrying about what other people would think. In my short time here, I've learned that you just have to do what you want to do and not worry about anyone else. I do agree that I should at least try it one time; that way at least I know and I won't have the back and forth. And at the worst, it's three weeks of looking much younger .
And yes, it's definitely crazy to put makeup on around the facial hair. You notice the makeup but it does contradict.

At first, I was strictly going to be a private CD, never leaving home but I've gathered courage to try and go out totally en femme. To do that I would have to go clean shaven. The more I think about it, the more excited I get. I marvel at everyone's before and after pics, so I'm excited to try one for myself.

[Stacy Darling]

You have one life Brie!

You do not have to shave to wear your makeup, I will trim around my mouth so that my lippy is clear and shave from my eyebrows to my upper jawline so to leave enough room to blend some colour. Saying that, I would rather be clean shaven!

Just chop it!
Stacy!

[ronda]

Brie the one thing about hair is it will grow back just because you shaved doesn't mean something's up you just wanted a different look and if you don't like it in a week it will be back

[Leelou]

Well, Brie, it sounds like you're leaning towards trying it. So I'd encourage you to go for it. You say you're excited about the thought of going out totally enfemme and you realize you'd prefer to be shaven if you get there, and I agree.

And if you want to do a before and after session, you could do your before pic with the facial hair if you'd like. Then shave and take your after shots for maximum effect. Lots of ladies here do that as I'm sure you've noticed. As others have mentioned, you can grow it back any time you want.

Good luck and thanks for posting!

[Teresa]

Brie,
It's more than a even bet you won't grow the hair back !

To put makeup on a clean shaven, moisturised face and then top it off with your wig, you will probably be knocked out by the difference , the guy really does disappear . If you look more feminine so what does it matter, you will feel great inside .

[nvlady]

Last time I shaved off my beard only one person asked me why I shaved it off. I told him "I felt like it".
Nothing else was ever said.

[Micki_Finn]

I think that there is a tendency, when you're so used to hiding, to kind of become paranoid about letting slip "tells" that everything starts to seem like a giveaway. Just gotta step back and realize that men shave all the time and that changing facial hair is perfectly normal.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Brie, You only have to impress yourself, If it works for you then just do it......

[Majella St Gerard]

It's no one's business why you shave facial hair off, do you really believe people will think you have ulterior motives for shaving? OMG he must be a transvestite why else would he shave. Everyone is so paranoid. Hair grows back. If you're that concerned just tell people that you wanted to see what it looks like.

[Tracii G]

Brie whats the worst that can happen somebody might say hey you shaved ?
Its your face so you can do what you want with it.
I'm going to be honest here so don't get mad OK?
You said people will think whats up? Um sorry honey its you that has the problem with shaving it off nobody else cares what you do with your facial hair.
If you think it will tip people off to the fact you crossdress well that just stupid. Think about how silly that notion sounds.
It could be you are used to having it and don't want to shave it off.
This is a case of you wanting to have your cake and eat it to.
Just a little thing I have noticed among my gay male friends 85% have thin beards and soul patches or a week worth of 5o'clock shadows ewwwww.
So if you are afraid your friends will think you are gay for shaving it just remember what I said in the above sentence.
Beards are the hot item on gay guys right now.

[Robertacd]

You do know it will grow back, right?

I had a goatee back in the 90's and it was hard to get rid of it. But I did it after coming out to my wife just so I could look better dressed up. Everyone said it made me look younger after it was gone, nothing wrong with that.

[natalie edwards]

No one will question it and if they do a simple answer is "i screwed up trimming and got pissed and shaved it all off!" Then go a few days without shaving as if maybe you're growing it back and then shave again.
Years ago only one person commented on me shaving my mustache. My answer was it was turning grayer than my hair, which it was. That person told me to dye it! I just laughed it off like yeah that's not going to happen.

[Brie84]

Wow, I love all of the feedback and the tough love as well. I'm not worried that being clean shaven would be a tip that I dress, I think I worry myself into thinking that being clean shaven would just draw more attention to myself because I haven't been without facial hair and it would look different. But it is very silly to let that hold me up. Crossdressing aside, I think I've learned a valuable lesson as well and not to overthink it and just do what makes me happy and not worry what other people think. I appreciate everyone keeping it real with me!

[Tracii G]

If its any consolation I had facial hair from 17 until I was 52 and the only reaction was hey you don't look like a dirty scroungy outlaw biker anymore or wow you look 10 years younger.
Here I was 27 or so a dirty 1%er outlaw. Its fuzzy sorry its an old polaroid pic

[Tina June]

I hear you - shaving off a beard you have had for years at first seems like a radical change, but consider that many men do not maintain facial hair (I can't quote a percentage!) so being clean shaven as a man is not unusual at all. You can always say that it is easier just to keep it clean shaven than to trim your goatee every day.
My personal experience is that only a few comments for a few days, then... Nobody will care that your face is smooth!

[HollyGreene]

I had a similar goatee and thin beard for 25 years and decided to shave it off. A few comments from family and colleagues, but they soon got used to it. If you really want to get rid of it, do it. You can always grow it back if you change your mind.