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Thread: Ask a Trans Military Member (Anything!)

  1. #26
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    I am struck (not for the first time, but more profoundly this time) by the large number of veterans and career military here. More fuel for the over-compensating fire? Not sure I buy that theory, but it does seem that we (vets) are a bit over-represented here.

  2. #27
    Aspiring Overlord Bree Wagner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly View Post
    I am struck (not for the first time, but more profoundly this time) by the large number of veterans and career military here. .
    Limited studies have shown that trans people serve at 2-3 times the rate of cis people.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 08-03-2017 at 12:00 AM.

  3. #28
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmandaM View Post
    In fact, dilation. In an extended wartime situation, there may not be time, etc. to dilate. The vagina may close up. Not good for the Miss, and it could lead to infection in TS's
    If I may, Bree? Post-op Trans don't need to dilate daily. It would be unlikely that until healed, they would deploy a TS and then if a post op TS were assigned field duty (as ground pounder or otherwise) I would assume they would have to have medical clearance. After a year, POst-ops don't dilate daily (some don't do daily even before) but usually once a week and can go out ever further. Worse case is they may need step back a size or so when they resume. If you were deployed for months in the field, I would think dilating your vagina would be the least of your concerns. Also, modern warfare doesn't put people in the field for extended periods of time. Even in Nam, you were dropped and picked up in days. I would suspect if a MtF were deployed with men, that when they were back to base there would be a modicum of privacy
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  4. #29
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    Last year I spent 22 days on a training exercise in MS in August, no shower and only one uniform change. In my 24 years the longest was 49 days in the dirt when we pushed into Iraq in 2003.
    Last edited by KimberlyJean; 08-03-2017 at 10:52 PM.

  5. #30
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    I have unsuccessfully searched online for an answer to my question. Leelou asked it here (what does transgender mean in the eyes of the military?, and does it include crossdressers?) You didn't answer how the military defined transgender, and you said that if crossdressers keep it private the military won't know or care. Sounds like DADT, right?
    Here's my question: how does the military define transgender? Thanks.

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    Nichole, here is the link to everything the DOD has http://www.defense.gov/News/Special-...sgender-policy

    Essentially it boils down to what you do on you own time as long as it doesn't bring discredit to the Military is DADT. It would be extremely frowned upon to show up to any type of event dressed as the opposite sex.

    Personal note, we have a lot of FtM and of course women can wear whatever they want and society is ok with it. But if I have females showing up to things dressed in mens clothing (not female equivalents) and then if I have a male show up wearing womens clothes, in the spirit of fairness and equality how do you discipline the male when we have been allowing the females to do it for years. The military's answer was to firmly not have an answer.

  7. #32
    Aspiring Overlord Bree Wagner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    I have unsuccessfully searched online for an answer to my question. Leelou asked it here (what does transgender mean in the eyes of the military?, and does it include crossdressers?) You didn't answer how the military defined transgender, and you said that if crossdressers keep it private the military won't know or care. Sounds like DADT, right?
    Here's my question: how does the military define transgender? Thanks.
    It's an unsettled question from a records perspective. We believe they are going to rely on a medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria, but that presents some loopholes. What about people that are out (me and many others) without a diagnosis or who haven't yet begun any sort of medical treatment.

    Unless explicitly forbidden by regulation, gender expression away from duty is up to you. It's not currently DADT, but we might be there again soon.

  8. #33
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    It seems the reversal of established (admittedly evolving) policy is going to create a mess from administrative and ethical perspectives. I have a difficult time imagining how the proponent (s) of re-stigmatizing TG soldiers are going to deal with the many, many thousands who, diagnosed or not, have come out as TG, and continue to serve with honor, bravery and distinction at all pay grades. Do they resign? Or must they vow never to do (or be) this no longer acceptable thing, either on or off duty?

    It isn't difficult to see how the reimposition of prejudice against one small group, TG soldiers, might be used to justify similar actions against certain sexual preferences, faiths, certain ethnicities, races....

  9. #34
    Gracious Colleague looking_good's Avatar
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    I had a recent extended discussion with friends (who are ex military) about transgender issues and military service. They felt they were well informed. The misunderstandings were, ummmmm, noticeable.
    "People join the military to get their trans surgery paid for by the government."
    "Reassignment surgery costs $4M, the taxpayers shouldn't pay for this."
    "People taking HRT medications are not combat ready" and other versions of "combat ready" or "effectiveness".

    It is easy to sensationalize this issue. It makes a great headline and click bait.

    My conversation was a clear reminder that patient and thoughtful education is the antidote. It is an uphill struggle.
    Simply an avid clothing enthusiast...

  10. #35
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    One might ask where they are getting their information. But we seem to have have a substantial media segment designed to appeal to and reinforce prejudice, mislead, enrage and divide. And yet, despite this, national polls show that a very substantial majority of Americans favor "allowing" TG people to serve. At the moment, it seems that the vocal, hostile, hateful majority is being left on the wrong side of the facts and the wrong side of history.

  11. #36
    Aspiring Overlord Bree Wagner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    It seems the reversal of established (admittedly evolving) policy is going to create a mess from administrative and ethical perspectives. I have a difficult time imagining how the proponent (s) of re-stigmatizing TG soldiers are going to deal with the many, many thousands who, diagnosed or not, have come out as TG, and continue to serve with honor, bravery and distinction at all pay grades. Do they resign? Or must they vow never to do (or be) this no longer acceptable thing, either on or off duty?

    It isn't difficult to see how the reimposition of prejudice against one small group, TG soldiers, might be used to justify similar actions against certain sexual preferences, faiths, certain ethnicities, races....
    Those are questions we just can't answer yet until we see the details coming out of the WH for how the policy will be implemented.

    It's absolutely easy to see us going down the path you mentioned and it's incredibly scary. We believed military purges to be a thing of history, done by the Nazis and the Soviets, but happen here? Sure seemed preposterous not so long ago.

  12. #37
    Gracious Colleague looking_good's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    One might ask where they are getting their information....At the moment, it seems that the vocal, hostile, hateful majority is being left on the wrong side of the facts and the wrong side of history.
    Good question and I listened very hard to see where their information was coming from. Some of it was rooted in personal experiences from their military service when the armed forces were struggling with racial issues - think Vietnam era. The thoughts seemed to be "it was hard then, this will be hard now". A portion of it was clearly media driven misinformation.

    In either case, the antidote seems to be patient, thoughtful discussion and education. Sigh. I was hoping for lightning bolts.
    Simply an avid clothing enthusiast...

  13. #38
    Member CD Tammy's Avatar
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    Q> Have you ever felt that you were stationed somewhere that it was too dangerous to dress?

  14. #39
    Aspiring Overlord Bree Wagner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CD Tammy View Post
    Q> Have you ever felt that you were stationed somewhere that it was too dangerous to dress?
    No, but it's always worth considering where you're going. In any town there are good and bad areas.

  15. #40
    Board-Certified Shaman LaSirenaBella's Avatar
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    Hey, you.

    I'll say what I've said before and at our last contact. Else and I stand by you and your wife no matter what happens!

    <3
    Sirena Rivera
    "Because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing." - Theodor S. Geisel

  16. #41
    Senior Member Robin777's Avatar
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    Bree, I want to thank you for your service to this country .

  17. #42
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
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    Well said, Bree! Hang in there and never forget that we all honor and support you.
    My name is Carol.

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