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Thread: A Feel good moment and affirmation

  1. #1
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    A Feel good moment and affirmation

    The church that I attend has their own thrift shop that is run by the women's guild. I can't make it there often in that they are only open three days a week and those are my usual long days.
    This week I needed to move my day off and I was able to stop in and do a little shopping. We started to chat and I mentioned that I always do try to be presentable and appropriate. Both of the women (one older and one younger) working there both told me that not only do I do that but that I do a good job with my presentation and that I blend in (her words), and that I'm usually one of the better dressed ladies. Now mind you I am about 6 ft tall and weigh about 250 (size 22 dress). So passing is not really an option for me,
    It felt good to hear that and that they do notice that I try to look nice. I do always wear a skirt or dress ( in my old church it was very frowned upon for women to wear pants or shorts, so I do have that in my head). Besides I wear pants and jeans every other day of the week at work so why not dress up a little on Sunday to worship. I am the only CD/TG in the congregation at this point, but I feel I am accepted and over time I seem to have made more people comfortable with me, especially the older women who I thought might be the toughest to accept me, they seem to be my mother hens. They are always the first to say hi, we sit and talk and always include me in their conversations. They even made sure to invite me to their bus trip to Lancaster to see Jonah and dinner afterwards. I asked if it anyone would be uncomfortable if I went as Nikki, they all told me that if they did it would be their problem and not mine.
    Long story but I am happy about all this and I hope that maybe some of you who are on the fence about showing your fem side can see that people can be accepting and that the world will not cave in.

  2. #2
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    I am not sure why you think passing is not an option due to your size. There are plenty of women your size.

  3. #3
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    That's wonderful! Congratulations. More people, hopefully, are finding out we're not the end of the world. Recently I went through a marathon round of going to places where I had to sit in waiting rooms -- I was actually a little astonished how women would come sit next to me and start chatting. That is the coolest thing! Men don't do that, and when I was pretending to be one I didn't do it either, so I have to learn new habits. Getting accepted into "the club" is a very positive experience. I'm so happy for you.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post
    I am not sure why you think passing is not an option due to your size. There are plenty of women your size.
    There are plenty of women who wear a size 22 dress. The height? I think the combination of weight (250 lbs) and height (6 foot) draws attention. Once attention is drawn, then other clues seen to just surface. I see some ladies on this site who are plus size, but, not tall. The plus size seems to round out the face and get rid of sharp angles of the face and chin. The added flesh at the next obscures the Adam's apple. Yes, plus size women can wear stylish clothes.

    Nikki's narrative definitely indicates acceptance by the 'church women." I suppose a history of interaction with them makes them realize Nikki is a rather nice person without regard to her clothes. Nice to read of someone spreading acceptance.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I am so glad the church women are so accepting of you! Acceptance is just wonderful! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  6. #6
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    I know a lot of women who are in excess of 250 and I've seen quite a number as tall as myself (6'2") and taller. Yes, they stand out, but they are accepted as themselves, and it seems, you have been as well.

  7. #7
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    Thank you for your responses. Yes it is nice to be accepted. It also shows that women do pay attention and comment on what others wear. In as far as passing goes, I'm a realist or maybe my own worst critic. It isn't just the height or the weight but also the facial features and overall look. Some of the ladies on this site are very fem looking with a little (or a lot) of makeup on.
    Either I'm read or at best people will just think I'm just one not very good looking woman. If I can put some doubt into what sex I am, I am one happy person. And so far I have not had a problem. Most people will treat you as you present. I think it's more of an issue when you're more androgynous, then people may need to guess (ALA Pat from SNL).

  8. #8
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Nikki, how beautiful that is to hear that so much I think is how we present ourselves and people realize we are just everyday folks trying to get along and be ourselves

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member ronda's Avatar
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    your passing is not assize issue my x GF is 6' tall and wore a size 22 when I meat her she now wears an 18 20 she used to wear a size 38 she has lost a 169 lbs and is a beautiful woman so don't think you cant pass she showed that I can pass at 6'1" 235 lbs I would get called mamma while in drab
    hugs
    Ronda

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