My wife and I have been talking lately about her taking the lead more and proactively forcing me to dress more. She expressed to me tonight that her end goal is to see me fully comfortable going out dressed however I want without worrying about what others might think. She realizes that it needs to happen in steps and not all at once, but she is also in control.
Has anyone else been through this? I need some thoughts from those more experienced than myself.
That sounds like a plan if she is on board with it . She sets the
rate of progress she is comfortable with . You reach your
desired goal of becoming comfortable enfemme
Jean. Ann
My wife is the boss in a female led relationship, I follow her instructions without question Several years ago we formed a pact...She was the boss and I was the Sissy. I was in feminine clothing for the most part (except for work). We never went out but one time in the 3-4 years we had this relationship
Then things began to change ...She sat me down one evening an told me she was getting tired of the kinky sex and the CD'ing. She informed me that she would allow me to continue waiting on her "Hand and Foot" but I could not cross dress in her presence
So it's about 6am and I'm sitting here in my bra and panties.... typing on the laptop in my room. I hoping she doesn't come in and catch me. A spanking isn't fun if it's strictly for punishment
Be careful of what you wish for!!
Danielle.
Although I've never experienced this kind of relationship, it's always been a fantasy desire. So far I've yet to meet a woman that understands the concept.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
My first wife had a different take, on forced feminisation ( I'll leave it at that ).
Allowing anyone to control my expression is a complete No for me, It is not naturally who we are!
Like to naturally flow,
Stacy!
STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
Stop breathing imagine none of this is real
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"
It's okay to have fetishes and a kinky sex life with the wife or SO... but I wouldn't want it to leave the bedroom. I enjoy being equal in my marriage. Some people may enjoy it but it should always be with concent. If it's not and it is forced it could be damaging imo. Good luck!
From my experience, my partner helps pick things out for me and helps me with my makeup.(S)he tells me if something I pick out for myself works or if it doesn't work or make me look ridiculous (that kind of honesty is worth it's weight in gold!). Apart from sometimes in the bedroom I prefer a more 'natural' look - i.e. not completely OTT. I've not been out in public yet - small village mentality where I live, but I'm not against the idea somewhere more accepting.
The bit that concerns me of what you say is that the structure of most forced feminisation stories I've heard involve an element of humiliation, often public, by very obviously outing the dresser before moving onto gradual acceptance. Otherwise it's a case of the guy being caught and helped along the way with love and support. Which is being offered to you and which are you good with?
I could be reading too much into your choice of words in the thread title, but to me "forced feminisation" has a more fetish based implication. However, if it's proactive support and help in being who you want to be then I'd say embrace it, and keep talking about what you want - if she's "forcing" you to dress more then make sure it's still what you want and how you want it.
Best of luck x
Forcing me to do things against my will is most definitely NOT the best way to make me comfortable with something. But if it works for you great. I don't think that it's going to build up your confidence, but rather just make you numb to the humiliation, bit this isn't really my forte.
Gerri,
I have not been through this, nor have I spoken with anyone who is considering this but some of the words that you used in this post worry me.
Specifically "forced" and "In control".
If what you are suggesting is that your wife help you get over your fears, help you present more femininely, provide opportunities to move in this direction (e.g shopping restaurants, make-up lessons, going to the movies...), give you a gentle nudge in the direction that YOU want to go, then this seems OK.
If on the other hand, you are saying that you agree to do whatever your wife decides, whenever she wants, no matter what YOU want, then I think this is a bad idea.
What is your goal? Is YOUR end goal to be "fully comfortable going out dressed however YOU want without worrying about what others might think. "
You may enter into this agreement with your wife, confident that she loves you and would never harm you. Then she changes & starts asking you to not just push the envelope but go off the deep end. Any number of ways but here's one.. You begin dressing more at home. Your presentation improves. Maybe going out once in a while with her while you're dressed. A dream come true for some on this site. Then She becomes upset with the lack of "progress" so in order to move things along quicker she tells you to go to work fully dressed one day. She says if she is really in control, then you'll do this... Not a place I would want to be.
Bottom line: Do NOT lose control over your life.
Good luck in your journey.
Hugs, Connie
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This does not sound like forced feminization. That term implies doing something against one's will with the purpose of humiliation. It sounds as if her actions are encouragement. If she were to tell you to don a French maid outfit and pump gas at your local Arco Station against your better judgement, I'd call that forced feminization. If she suggests going for an evening stroll along the shores of Puget Sound that sounds like encouragement.
My only suggestion for anyone is to never do anything outside your personal comfort zone.
Me? Being in a DADT marriage I would love it if my wife suggested I prepare dinner en femme. But, I choose not to force my cross dressing upon her. I hold to the premise both husband and wife need to be on board with the cross dressing experience for it to work.
After saying that I would leave it at that earlier, I must more than agree with Stephanie!
Forced Feminisation to my ex wife was coupled with having my face pushed into a pillow!
I wouldn't go there at all!
Scarred!
STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
Stop breathing imagine none of this is real
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"
You partner my be into it now, but be careful you are not "Topping from the bottom". As in Danielle's case her partner probably get tired of it being all about Danielle and took away the part she loved he most.
Some play is good, but as a male don't give up your male attributes and let here help you but only in play. That may be the best way and have safe words that will shut it down if need be. But enjoy her and know that she will change her mind as it will get old after a while.
Part Time Girl
My end goal is the same as hers. She sees me struggling outside the home when I'm dressed to a point. I try to hide my painted nails and things like that. She wants my self confidence to rise. She knows too much too soon will have a negative effect and she is going to go step by step.
OH, that is not forced feminization, Painted nails. Don't hide them when dressed and I have had several nice comments from women when it is a nice color. So just be yourself as a feminine person. Go out to Movies and Dinner for a while with her for a while for you to get more comfortable. Make it a nice date with her.
Part Time Girl
Just like trying to define ourselves in terms of our dressing, etc., the "forced" term is susceptible to so many degrees/variations in its interpretation. As your subsequent posts and those of some others show, it is hard to determine where the line is drawn between true "forced" to "topping from the bottom", to "stronger encouragement".
My point being, if you both have a good time and are respectful of each other's limits (AND are respectful of those that may be around you during these scenes), then you should both enjoy it and progress to whatever level of activity you are comfortable with.
I was out last night at SRO when a very attractive female came in with her cross dressed SO wearing a collar around her neck and a light chain that the female led her with. Both seemed content.Had never seen this in public before and wanted to ask about it, but felt this would not be correct to do.
Gerri Ray,Originally Posted by gerri ray
My feeling is it's perhaps worth considering whether what would work best is "Forcing" or "Encouraging" you to dress more. It could be as simple as your SO setting time aside for you to practice makeup skills, calendaring times for you to undertake specific activities. View it more as target setting.
It could be as simple as saying in 3 weeks time we're going out for a drive for two hours one evening. Using target setting the next drive will be 6 days away, the next 5 days after that and so on. Each drive getting slightly longer and perhaps in more busy parts. She sets a time and place for you to get out of the car for a short walk. Next time she drives a few hundred yards down the road and you have to catch up. basically she's setting the agenda for you to do more.
If in the arrangement there's a "Chicken out" clause then it's not forcing. As you say it needs to be in steps, she takes the lead, you have to find the courage to follow.
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
I would have a problem all with the word forced. I don't like to be forced into anything. I do like role play from time to time but probably would not participate if I were forced into it. I'm more of a I'll do it if I want to type of gal. If being forced to do something is your style then enjoy but don't complain when she pushe you past your comfort level.
I too, have a problem with the word "Forced". How could I be forced to do something I love doing? That said, I had a 20 year marriage to a lady that loved and strongly encouraged my dressing and I am thankful for it. If I were home in the evening and not at least partially in femme, she would ask me if something was wrong. I was in total fear of leaving the house dressed so she suggested that we just go for a drive. Later when out for a drive, she suggested we take a walk/window shop. It was she that took the initiative to seek out a few tg friendly clubs/bars where we could go, socialize, and enjoy ourselves among others. Without her encouragement, I might have remained totally closeted to this day but she insisted I be Jackie.
I am with the "encouraging" crowd. I think that she sees what you may not, that you can be more yourself with her support and that you have a right to do that in public. She loves you and wants to see you make yourself be happy with her support, which may include loving encouragement and maybe even a little pushing to get you to take the next step. Talk with her more about it.
"Forced fem", is sexual fetish fantasy many dressers have experienced. Including me early on.
But, it isn't the same as someone encouraging u to do what u want to do. Unless u find going out dressed arousing, it's NOT the same!?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I think its a good idea for your wife to feel in control, and let her be proactive. However, you need to be comfortable with the plan too. Let her know about your fears and take it all one step at a time. Both partners need to be on the same page.
So far has your wife forced you to do anything against your will?
Nothing about that ... if I had a wife would be forced.
Nothing at all.
I think people are focusing on the word forced too much. If you search the WWW for Female Led Relationships and Forced Feminization and ignore all the porn, you will see its a lifestyle choice for some people. The person being 'forced' is turned on by being made to crossdress. Marriages where the husband cedes control to the wife are quite common. Both parties would have willingly agreed to the arrangement. No one can force a person to put on a dress... one can just say no... the people in this situation want to be forced. Of course there are abusive relationships etc in the world not talking about those.
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
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