Well I thought I was only know about by my wife, and maybe my mom and sisters, but I forgot about all of you!
Well I thought I was only know about by my wife, and maybe my mom and sisters, but I forgot about all of you!
Leslie,
I explained the situation in a thread in Love Ones section, " Finally had the conversation".
I guess the bottom line is we have drifted apart after 43 years we have different ideas for our future lives , I have made good friends in so many areas but can't enjoy their company while I live with my wife , she wishes to devote all her time and energy to the children and grandchildren , I'm not turning my back on them but living with her means saturating ourselves in them . I warned her to be careful of being too close and maybe being hurt.
We are parting on good terms , we may still take holidays together , and visit each other for meals. I do feel she is still trying to retain control over me, I guess she still can't imagine me living my life any different to the man she married.
To answer your question, about other GGs supporting their partners , the stories area a mixed bag, the ones that suffer most are the TSs ,they appear to have lost the most personally. I have mixed feeling about supporting partners, possibly because I've had to be independent and do it all for myself, I know I'm not alone in this but I don't want to be lead by the hand and be treated like a child, which is the impression I get from some members with supportive GGs. The one thing I love about the GGs at the meetings is they really give you confidence about your clothes and makeup because they understand how difficult it is for a man to transform from male to female .
Maybe if I was totally honest I would like a loving relationship with a woman after so many years of no intimate contact, I still feel I could love someone and would love to have the feeling again of being loved back .
I'm not sure if that's the answer you expected , or it helps you in someway .
Last edited by Teresa; 08-14-2017 at 03:43 PM.
To make my "out to" list you need to know both sides of me, not just the crossdressing side.
With that in mind, my confirmed list includes:
My wife
Two therapists
Our minister, who is L and very LGBT supportive
Two crossdressers from a support group I attended some years ago
One ex (from 25 years ago)
Three cats
That said, my wife on more that one occasion has said that more people know than I think know.
Last edited by Taylor186; 08-15-2017 at 10:17 AM.
Hi everyone,
I am only out to my wife (a few months ago) & all of you kind people here.
The consequences of my family or in-laws finding out would be very bad, so i am cautious. I guess there is a very small chance that someone might be able to identify/locate me from my activity here, but this forum is so helpful that's a risk i am happy to take.
"The only way is onward. There is no turning back."
One of our cats, and he's pretty cool with it
I'm with the first reply ton the question, Stacy said Who knows Who cares?
Out to all those that matter, and a whole load of other people that don't really matter to me. I'm effectively fully retired, working once or twice a month and then only for a couple of hours at a time. The nature of the work, (funerals) means full male clothing for those occasions. Otherwise it's a mix of mainly femme clothing with comfort the number one consideration, and full dressing for special occasions.
Everyone that matters, family, friends, neighbors, coffee mates and coffee shop staff, this site and everyone else that I have interacted with as Allie, and that numbers in the thousands! I haven't lost anyone yet, but my son and daughter are still coming to terms with it all after a year.
Coming out to me can be multiple steps or one big reveal. For those who knew me before it has been verbal only except for my granddaughter, ex-wife, and a limited few others who have met and gone out with Allie. A few have seen a couple of pictures. The final coming out for me is when they see and interact with me when dressed as myself.
Thank you for the heartfelt and forthright response, Teresa!
The more I read here of your life experiences and your journey to get to where you are today, the more I can relate to both of those - as well as you personally. The many resemblances between your life history and mine border on the uncanny, and it is almost as if we had been separated at birth despite there being an ocean between us now - LOL!
Your latest comments about your wife being so family-centric struck a particular chord with me as well, as that has been my own experience and one which has also created something of a barrier between my wife and myself along with her aversion to my crossdressing.
Although my wife professes to love me deeply despite it all, I have always had the nagging feeling that when it came to priorities and an emotional connection between the two of us - blood being thicker than water and all that - the ranking in my case is (1) Children, (2) Grandchildren, (3) Her family (4) Herself, and me...a distant (5) somewhere down the line. Luckily, I am not a needy person so I can live with that, but on some level the realization of just where I fit in within the cosmic scheme of things does hurt just a bit, and that has certainly been a major barrier towards the intimacy that she claims she often misses between us.
I try not to fault my wife too much for this since she had a difficult childhood growing up that included an alcoholic father, an unstable home life, and financial challenges throughout. As a result, familial cohesion was always an important driver for her. But those life experiences also turned her into a controlling person as her way of trying to keep everything together and her world in an orderly and predictable state, so discovering that she had married a "weirdo" crossdresser was not part of the Master Plan.
So here we are...
Leslie,
It is uncanny, how we do relate to our situations, especially your last paragraph, my wife also had a father who drank heavily, and did disrupt the home life, but he still worked hard on his farm so finances weren't so much of a problem but my wife is maybe a chip off the old block and does manage money well, it also follows that she is very controlling through keeping it all in order.
Going back to the pecking order again you summed it up very well, the man/husband/father just provides but doesn't have needs, so he's happy at the bottom of the heap !
Instead of continuing with this conversation maybe I should hop on a plane and share our stories over a couple of beers !!
oh my wife know but doesn't like it
and my 3 cats and they show love all the time
If you can't laugh and have fun you might as well go home.
Who knows: Well, my sister. A couple of friends that I've not seen in over ten years. A few people on this forum know who I really am. My lawyer. My therapists, but neither is still practicing. That's it. I'll probably die and be buried in a closet some day.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Had this experiment when a bitter ex gf outed me to our social circle.
There were two couples who were disapproving, a few that offered words of encouragement, and the rest really didn't care that much.
But this can be a distraction at the workplace, and I changed jobs once because of that, so I keep it separate at work. Told HR where I work but don't think that's any protection.
I'm not sure I want to make I list. I live in a small town and I've been here my entire life. I have been dressing for about ten years now.
1. Wife
2. One of my students, who is Transgender, she was so surprised!!
3, My Hairstylist, who also sells me my wigs, and styles my wigs frequently.
4. The two women at the Laser Clinic, and one of them has also given me makeup lessons
5. Thousands of friends on Facebook, Flickr, Instgram. Only about four of them are local
6. A really good friend whom I trust, he is gay, and easy to talk to.
7. A guy who puts on our local drag show, I am friends with him on Facebook, and talk to him at the gym. He is active in the LGBTQ community, and I hope is respectful of my privacy.
So there is my list, growing by the year. I just wish I had more CD friends locally that I could be friends with so I had someone to talk with and share ideas. My wife is okay with me dressing, but she doesn't seem to enjoy talking about it too much.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIZE="3"]Lauren[/SIZE]
Who knows? Only the Shadow knows! And my friends online here and a few retail stores have my alternate e-mail and a pseudonym and and Laura at Dress Barn who sold a dress to Lee for cash.
Who knows?
Here is my list of the people that know I dress……………….
Now that didn’t take long to type out?
to me , only my lovely wife knows and she help me as well yet i live a place where it is forbidden to be a crossdresser and my wife is terrified for me to be exposed so i to keep it at home only and be very cautious from my 3 children who are grown ups now ....this is life
Cross-dressing is a cross between woman's soul and man's heart.....