Dude looks like a lady

[Ressie]

From reading your posts I'm not sure of the tone in her voice when she makes these remarks. I can imagine that she's ribbing or teasing you, but it sounds more like she's really getting on your case.

Although we don't really know you, it appears that you aren't a manly type even when you aren't dressed en femme. So it's hard to say whether she found your stash, has suspicions based on something else (makeup residue etc.) or if she's just referring to your personality.

It also appears that she's just getting to know you since she didn't already know that you iron your cloths. How long have you been in this relationship? It certainly doesn't sound like you're happy living with her.

[LaurenS]

And done by conveying just enough information to make you think she can read your mind; because she can.

Speculative comments said confidently frequently provokes a mark to reveal the truth or other unknowns.

I watch too too many heist movies... so sad.

[rachael.davis]

The real question is why are you asking us? You're not out, so maybe it's a good time to comment on her sniping, and open up for "that talk"

[Sarasometimes]

Is this new behavior? Have you acted or up your dressing differently. You did say barber shop, so unlikely they gave you femme brows. You know her best but her berating you would get real old real fast if she was my wife. I'd bring it up to her or at least get advice from others who know her. Good Luck, I think you need it.

[docrobbysherry]

A lot of gossip and opinions posted above. But, what I want to know is?

Why r u afraid to tell her!? She's your SO, after all. If and when she catches u? You'll be in DEEP YOGURT!

[GinaSkirt]

If you catch her looking at a woman and comments on her outfit say WTH are you a lesbian?
Or if she does something remotely manly like raises the hood on her car and check her oil call her a fag*&%.
Smart ass comment given with a touch of hate will get that in return from me every time.
She needs a talking to IMO.
She needs to show you a little respect for being a man and helping around the house.
Of course I was stupid enough to do all that with my first wife and it got to the point she did nothing around the house and if I said something she would say why should I? You do it all because you are a pussy.
Wasn't long after that I tossed her ass out and boy did that feel good.

Tracii, I feel you, had my 1st was like that no work, no laundry, no cook and cleaning involved soaking couters floors in plain water. Left that behind. As for the nasty comments for doing something nice I am looking for some nice boots can borrow them to give a swift kick. No one of any identity deserves that type of treatment. Wow

[sometimes_miss]

Sara no I didn't consider it,many times she always makes comments like that. An example :she works 9 to 5 has an hour commute with traffic, I'll cook for her so when she gets home from work the food is ready,and the only thing she can say "oh,you felt like being a girl today? You must be gay cause you enjoy cooking."so now I sit on my lazy boy feet up watching ESPN and when she walks in from work I ask her "what's for dinner woman?" Another example I clean the house, wash the dishes, and iron my cloths her comments "your a f** why do you like doing girl stuff?"My answer I just want to help you and I have always ironed my own cloths since I was a teenager, so I just like my cloths neat. Sara ,I told you a little about my wife,so now what do you think?

^that does not bode well for what she'll think of you. Apparently there is no room for fem behavior for 'real men'.

[jennifer0918]

Ilene I have been married 20 years,her mother once told her many years ago if I will not listen to her to not to cook,clean,wash,or iron for me until I will comply with her. So when she told my in laws that hey I do everything cook,wash,clean,and iron her mother said oh he must be gay,so ever since she will make these comments. When iam clean shaven she will say I look like a bitch or a girl and laugh at me. My eye brows where done at the barbershop so nothing femme,and I passed the test at work no one said nothing

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The deep yogurt, like Micheal Phelps I will swim my way out of this one. I'm grown iam not a child so if she can't accept me it's duces, life is short I only hope that if it goes there ,that her lawyer will not embarrass me too much ,cause from what I hear they may be able to find out iam on this forum or even see my Jennifer pics on my phone.

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Only when iam clean shaven she will say I look like a girl. No one at work has ever said this,they only make fun when iam clean shaven,but no girl comments. The gay calling has been going on for years since we got married and she found out I could take care of myself.

[5150 Girl]

Sounds to me like she knows or is suspicious. It may be her way of asking for the truth and who knows where it goes from there.

Yep, that's what I think as well... And as someone else suggested, she may have found your "stash." You may want to head this thing off at the pass before inappropriate conclusions are reached!

[Carmen]

[QUOTE=Tracii G;4134275]Smart ass comment given with a touch of hate will get that in return from me every time.QUOTE]

Yes Traci you hit the mark there. There's nothing more annoying than those smart assed comments, (I'm in a DADT situation) I used to bite my tongue in the past, she would always make her quips at family gatherings knowing that I would never create a scene but that had changed, she could see me become angry, it's like she's proud of her ability to set me off with a few choice comments. I finally had enough and now I give her a sample of what an angry vocabulary can be like and she does not like me to go there. I guess my SO figured that I would just continue to suck it up and never fire back but I recently reached my limit of her remarks. Personally I hate going into that mode.
Jennifer you need not have to endure her disparaging remarks, whether or not if she know that you dress. They will erode your spirit and become the abrasive in your relationship.
She needs to appreciate how much you do for her.

[Jenny22]

Jennifer, how strong is the love in your relationship, after 20 years of marriage? I gather you are in your 40s. You mentioned "out with family" in your original post. Are there children?
You may just be at a point in your life when you may have to consider what's best for YOUR future happiness, considering the way she's been treating you.

[Julie Slowinski]

I think this is a cultural issue. I have some similar blood in my family and while no one has said anything to me about doing chores, they have made comments to my wife. It's possible that she doesn't want to appear to be not doing her 'womanly duties'. However, that doesn't cover the eyebrows comment.

I suggest that next time she says something like that, you turn it into a long discussion about it being 2017 and how modern couples share the chores. If she goes into how her mom would give her a hard time if she saw you doing dishes, then your in the clear and you can just work on that problem. However, if she is suspecting, then I would expect it will come out in that discussion. Of course, you should only do this if you're prepared to have 'the talk'. Then, again if you're really ready to come out to her, you might want to have a more structured plan. I don't know, it's kind of a tough call.

[Venessa_48]

I think you should tie her up and well put it this way, not just men can dominate a woman.

[jennifer0918]

Julie thanks for the advice and yes this is a cultural issue with her. As far as "the talk "I think maybe I'm ready,when I mean ready is by if she divorces me for being a cd ,so be it. I think about my children and don't want to be selfish and break the family so the closet is working ok for now but it's hars to be three persons at a time a husband, a dad ,and Jennifer. I don't know so far as of today no mention of anything from her

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I think you should tie her up and well put it this way, not just men can dominate a woman.

I agree vanessa.

[Kayliedaskope]

Next time she mentions it, go put on your dress and heels and lipstick, and come back to what you were doing. "Well, since I'm a fag, I look like a girl, etc., then I guess I simply won't bother hiding it anymore .... What's the matter, honey? I'm a bitch, right? I'm gay? Oh, by the way, your parents called earlier, they're coming over for dinner .... Does this apron look cute on me?"

Let her deal with the fallout from that one.

[Julie Slowinski]

Let her deal with the fallout from that one.

LMAO...Almost fell off the train platform.

But seriously .... Jen don't do that.

[Stephanie47]

Suggest going to a Halloween party. Just suggest and don't comment on a costume. See if she suggests dolling you up as a woman or female cartoon character, super hero. Frankly, I think she may have some well founded suspicions.

I'm a retiree with a wife who is still working with the exception of taking last year off for cancer treatment. I do a lot of the domestic chores; cleaning, baking, laundry, meal preparation. She always thanks me and never says anything derogatory. I consider your wife's comments to be derogatory IF she does not know you're a cross dresser. If she does know you're a cross dresser she should use some other term of endearments that are not offensive. Frankly, I'd tell her comments are offensive.

[jennifer0918]

Next time she mentions it, go put on your dress and heels and lipstick, and come back to what you were doing. "Well, since I'm a fag, I look like a girl, etc., then I guess I simply won't bother hiding it anymore .... What's the matter, honey? I'm a bitch, right? I'm gay? Oh, by the way, your parents called earlier, they're coming over for dinner .... Does this apron look cute on me?"

Let her deal with the fallout from that one.

I have to be strong ,iron claw,I will not let her call me names,period!!

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Suggest going to a Halloween party. Just suggest and don't comment on a costume. See if she suggests dolling you up as a woman or female cartoon character, super hero. Frankly, I think she may have some well founded suspicions.

I'm a retiree with a wife who is still working with the exception of taking last year off for cancer treatment. I do a lot of the domestic chores; cleaning, baking, laundry, meal preparation. She always thanks me and never says anything derogatory. I consider your wife's comments to be derogatory IF she does not know you're a cross dresser. If she does know you're a cross dresser she should use some other term of endearments that are not offensive. Frankly, I'd tell her comments are offensive.

Stephanie I think she learns this from her mother,who dislikes me,yet I provide a home for her daughter, and have been there for her for 20 years. I'm not perfect I have flaws,I think maybe she feels that if we ever divorce she will hate me doing all this for another woman,bUT truth be told if we divorce the only other woman will be the one in me,and my journey will begin.