What is the hardest thing your wife adjusted to?

[Silkydog]

To my surprise my wife was open to me getting forms. She is also ok with me wearing eye makeup. But recently I mentioned something about him and wig, and well she is not so comfortable with that. Without a wig, I'm just a miad. I need can wear dresses, bras, nylons, swimsuit, but as soon as I mention a wig she got uncomfortable. She has always been supportive and given me my pink time, but out of all things, why the wig. I'm sure she will come around soon, just surprised me.

What is the one thing your S/O had a hard time adjusting to or flat out said no way?

[Leslie Langford]

Ummm...EVERYTHING!

Also known as DADT ("Don't Ask, Don't Tell"), or some other variant thereof such as DWTSIDWTKAAI ("Don't Want To See It, Don't Want To Know Anything About It")

[Karen RHT]

Ummm...EVERYTHING!

Also known as DADT ("Don't Ask, Don't Tell"), or some other variant thereof such as DWTSIDWTKAAI ("Don't Want To See It, Don't Want To Know Anything About It")

Prior to, and for many years after we married, it was the same for my wife. Couldn't/wouldn't accept anything about it. Currently I can dress as I please around our home with one notable exception...a wig. It's often said that a wig is "our crowning glory" so perhaps that's why it's "a bridge too far" for my wife. Since my wife still doesn't talk openly and candidly with me about my crossdressing it's difficult to know why a wig troubles her so much.


Karen

[Krisi]

If you are in a position to grow your hair out, a wig wouldn't be necessary.

That said, my choice at this time is to wear a wig rather than growing my hair out. Being a different color and style, the wig is a big part of what transforms me from Homer to Krisi. Maybe that's the final straw for many wives.

[Karen RHT]

You're reading my mind Krisi. It's not easy to do at my age, but I do still have most of my hair. It's a bit thinner than it once was on top, but I've been letting it grow and been getting it cut differently. No comments about how it looks from my wife about it to this point.


Karen

[BillieAnneJean]

The whole CDing thing. And that CDing isn't an automatic gay.

[Bobbi46]

Me she was 5' 2" I am 6' 7" I was always too big for her in more ways than one! LOL

[Elizabeth G]

I guess it remains to be seen what clothing or other items might be too much but for now I'll say that she did have a hard time when she realized it wasn't just clothes but mannerisms and persona as well.

[Scarlett398]

To the fact that I was a cross dresser and that I wasn't ever going to give it up. She has finally accepted that fact but I don't get to get my Scarlett on while she's at home which is fine with me. I'd feel rather awkward around her with me all dolled up as Scarlett!

The other thing was the shaving of my legs. Initially she was against it but now I think she loves the soft feel of the bare skin on my legs while we are making love! When I where shorts, and I don't like the long long shorts they make for men now, I don't ever have anyone ask me why my legs are shaved. The sculpted military officers at the military base where I work out have shaved legs. I think it's OK if you are a regular at the gym and stay in great shape. I notice that many of the military officers shave their whole body too. 4

Mine are usually khaki or black and are about two to three inches above the knee. They are both sexy and classy for guy's shorts and I don't mind showing off my legs in guy mode either. As you girls have noted, I have been extremely blessed in the leg area!

So the fact that I'm a cross dresser for life and it's just a part of me being me that I don't shove down my wife's throat in anyway and I respect her limits she places on me. There will never be a girl on girl date with her but I would love to do that one evening even though we would both feel very awkward first time out together as girls! And the fact that I'll be shaving my legs and the rest of my body forever. I only do my underarms about once every month or so. That hair as well as other hair on my body grows really slow.

So those were the two things my wife had the hardest time adjusting to. She still has no idea I named myself Scarlett when I get my girl on!

XOXOXO Scarlett

[Beverley Sims]

I can be dressed up and well made up and when we are out my wife will say "You're not going in there with that hair on, are you?"

Very strange, I can't work it out sometimes.

Other times it is all okay shopping in a mall somewhere, high heeled boots, makeup and wig.........

I just don't know.

[T Gram]

So sorry for all you ladies in the DADT situation. For the ladies struggling with the hair problem, so sorry . I find it harder for my SO to sit around in female clothes or lingerie (without) hair & makeup, just seems, strange to me. I bought her two different bras we could put her breast forms in and helped her to look more (fem) I didn't want her to go out looking (half done) if you're going to do something, do it right! It all scared the crap out of me at first don't get me wrong. But communication is the key. Now I enjoy my time with my (girlfriend) we are closer than ever.

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So sorry Josie, love your profile picture you look great. Keep the lines of communication open, but don't push to hard...gently...is preferred best of luck.

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Rian, maybe she is uncomfortable in lingerie herself or didn't feel she's attractive in it. So when you wear it it's just a reminder to herself. Maybe if you encourage her ... Maybe help her but some things for her she feels comfortable in, you girls could have a special pajama party or something??? You never know

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You go Jenny!!!

[suchacutie]

My wife understood the need for breastforms to fill out clothes made for women, and a wig was just a part of teaching me about makeup, and we picked out the color for my fingernails together.

But...

Putting that color on my toenails...No Way!!! Neither of us completely understands it, but it's a tiny price to pay for otherwise being completely onboard!

[Jenn A116]

So agree with the need for breast forms to fill our clothes. And yes, a wig is needed for the overall look. But wouldn't toe nail color also fit?

[IleneD]

The body shaping seemed to be the boundary edge for mine.
My first presentation of a bra drew her wonderment at "why would anyone wear a bra that didn't have to?!" The breast forms freaked her out, and I haven't gotten around to showing Ilene in her full glory with hip forms. She knows I have them because I showed her a photograph where I have obviously assumed a more hippy shape.
The clothes were OK, not wildly enthusiastic about clothes, but the body shaping into a woman's shape seems a bit far for her (yet).
Trying to explain that most dresses and some garments & looks just won't work or fit without foundations.

[Samm]

For my wife, it was jeans. It was a firm NO. I did end up convincing her to let me get one pair from a thrift store just to satisfy my curiosity. (My favorite curvy boot cut style). Once she saw they fit and looked pretty good, she's okay with them now. It's the butt shaping she still hasn't fully accepted. Wig, makeup, forms, no problem.

[deebra]

Who's screwed up here??? Women that accept their men dressed all out as women with breast forms, hip padding and don't want them to complete the presentation with a wig??? How does a man completely dressed as a woman look with male hair or bald??? Men's jeans showing they have no butt look terrible, she says no to tighter fitting girl jeans then changes her mind when seeing they fit him better but then has a problem with going from no butt to a shapely butt???

And to go back to where all this started why does a man want to wear women's clothes anyway???

Dogs, cats and animals don't have this cross gender problem, if human's are smarter than animals why do they???

[Samm]

Dogs, cats and animals don't have this cross gender problem

maybe they do? No one has ever bothered to ask

[JocelynJames]

My wife had big issues for about 2
Months with makeup and wigs.. fast forward to Now and it all seems good!

[Barbara Black]

I was surprised when she was irritated that I took off the wig whenever she came into the room. But she hasn't succumbed to any shaving, and I think would like me to leave on the facial hair if it were up to her, as a reminder that I am male. Fortunately with my skin problem, that isn't going to happen anyway. The rest....we'll see.

[GinaSkirt]

The fact that I am still heterosexual but like women's clothes. Who wouldn't the variety, colors, feeling sexy and I find them more comfortable. Her absolute no daisy dukes except around the house.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

My wife accepted/tolerated my dressing for many years. Her acceptance varied depending on God knows what. I never figured it out.

I remember the day she came home and Linda was standing in the breakfast area looking at her. She knew Linda would be home but she'd never seen "everything", including the first wig. It rocked her back on her heels. At that point I stopped being a Man in a Dress and was presenting as female. She jumped to the conclusion that next stop was hormones and SRS in Thailand. (Nope, that's not the road I'm traveling but she wasn't listening to me)

Things were degenerating. Everything I did seemed to confirm her belief that I was going to transition. She even felt my therapist was conspiring with me to make this happen. When I asked her to meet with my therapist she honestly thought this was the death sentence of our marriage and that she was going to get the news that I was starting my transition.

Luckily that wasn't the case. To this day I don't know what the Therapist said to her but my wife now understands and has been supportive ever since.

What was the hardest thing for my wife to adjust to? The wig, because it made Linda complete.

[Krisi]

My wife seems to have adjusted to everything because I brought it on slowly and didn't make a big deal out of it. Boobs, butt, wig, clothes, jewelry, etc. I only wear a bit of beard cover and lipstick and she noticed and adjusted to that. More makeup might be a problem because she doesn't typically wear makeup herself. I find that if I progress slowly, she doesn't complain. If I had just walked into the room as Krisi, I think that would have been too much of a shock for her to accept.

Part of the original question was "flat out no way". Well, that would be leaving the house dressed and made up as a woman. OK, I'm fine with that because I don't want my neighbors knowing about my "little hobby". I have gone out underdressed and changed in a deserted parking lot several times when she has been out of town. My goal is to go out in public as sisters or girlfriends but I'm going to have to figure out a way to do this from a hotel in another city. We haven't talked about it.

[Stacy Darling]

It is interesting what is and is not accepted!

I can be facially made up all nails done and wearing a most stunning rouge silk scarf! - Tolerated and possibly seen as stylish!

I can wear yellow, purple and lime green with orange thongs (flip flops) - yet I'm frowned upon when the pink comes out!

In my own home I am not to be seen in a dress, a wig or any breast!

A short apron and lace panties around the house is fine though!

Any wonder I'm so confused!

So not confused Stacy!

[Stephanie47]

A wig must be the last thing separating a wife from her husband. I'm in a DADT. I have not tried to present as Stephanie at all. I fear she would have a melt down. Back to the wig or hair issue. My wife is now termed a "survivor" of breast cancer. During chemo she lost all her curly hair which is now growing back. Losing her hair was actually worse than the breast cancer. Go figure? Breast cancer has a real possibility of killing a woman. Losing the hair temporarily....it'll grow back in. She has her hair was part of her visual image. I suspect adding that wig may have erased the last vestige of manhood. I wonder what a woman would do if her husband had always been the "long haired hippie" type with shoulder length hair? If he had a beard and went to shave it off would the meltdown then be the lack of facial hair???

[Gillian Gigs]

Yes, it is interesting the things that the wife may take exception with. I have an understanding and excepting wife who had a couple of issues that took time to over come. One of the first was a bra, to her it is a very feminine article of clothing and she didn't like me wearing one, that was well over 10 years ago. Funny, now I have moobs that fill a B cup mostly and now a bra doesn't bother her any more, so I very often wear one. She has even helped me in buying bras. Maybe it is because I now have something to put into the cups? She can't stand pantihose and thinks that I am nuts for wanting to wear them, she had a bit of a difficult time when I first started shaving my legs. The most resent issue was when I bought a lacy feminine nightgown, and it upset her, then of couple of days later asked why I stopped wearing it. I told her I didn't want to upset her and she apologised for her response saying that it initially took her by surprise and it was okay for me to wear it. The last issue was a month ago and she has been accepting for over 20 years. I dress as I choose around the home and she has helped me buy clothes on countless occasions, so go figure when it came to the nightgown!