Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 58

Thread: What is the hardest thing your wife adjusted to?

  1. #26
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Central Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    1,433
    I had to snicker to myself about the maternity clothes in the Jennifer in CD post. One of the bra's that my wife bought me came from a discount rack in Walmart, and it was a maternity/nursing bra. It is very comfortable and fits great. Again when it comes to wives, go figure!
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  2. #27
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Northern New England
    Posts
    2,231
    I guess it remains to be seen what clothing or other items might be too much but for now I'll say that she did have a hard time when she realized it wasn't just clothes but mannerisms and persona as well.

  3. #28
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Southeastern U.S.
    Posts
    914
    To the fact that I was a cross dresser and that I wasn't ever going to give it up. She has finally accepted that fact but I don't get to get my Scarlett on while she's at home which is fine with me. I'd feel rather awkward around her with me all dolled up as Scarlett!

    The other thing was the shaving of my legs. Initially she was against it but now I think she loves the soft feel of the bare skin on my legs while we are making love! When I where shorts, and I don't like the long long shorts they make for men now, I don't ever have anyone ask me why my legs are shaved. The sculpted military officers at the military base where I work out have shaved legs. I think it's OK if you are a regular at the gym and stay in great shape. I notice that many of the military officers shave their whole body too. 4

    Mine are usually khaki or black and are about two to three inches above the knee. They are both sexy and classy for guy's shorts and I don't mind showing off my legs in guy mode either. As you girls have noted, I have been extremely blessed in the leg area!

    So the fact that I'm a cross dresser for life and it's just a part of me being me that I don't shove down my wife's throat in anyway and I respect her limits she places on me. There will never be a girl on girl date with her but I would love to do that one evening even though we would both feel very awkward first time out together as girls! And the fact that I'll be shaving my legs and the rest of my body forever. I only do my underarms about once every month or so. That hair as well as other hair on my body grows really slow.

    So those were the two things my wife had the hardest time adjusting to. She still has no idea I named myself Scarlett when I get my girl on!

    XOXOXO Scarlett

  4. #29
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    oshawa, ontario
    Posts
    763
    for me after my wife's initial nervous breakdown it was me shaving off all my body hair.
    6 yrs later she is tolerant and just goes with the flow

  5. #30
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Nation's Capital
    Posts
    5,587
    Quote Originally Posted by Leslie Langford View Post
    Ummm...EVERYTHING!

    Also known as DADT ("Don't Ask, Don't Tell"), or some other variant thereof such as DWTSIDWTKAAI ("Don't Want To See It, Don't Want To Know Anything About It")
    I would also say it's everything, but really it's nothing.

    We have a DADT, but I call it, "See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no Evil."

    She has never seen me dressed at all, not even in pictures. She's never seen my forms, padding, makeup or wigs, never mind me wearing them. She has never seen any of my clothes. She doesn't know that I go to a salon to get my toenails painted, and sometimes my finger nails, if I can keep them painted for more than a few hours.

    What she does know is that I go out dressed and have CD friends that I meet. She knows what time I'm leaving and what time I'm coming home, but not where I'm going. I leave the house as a boy and return as a boy, and change someplace in between. Sometimes I change at a friends house, sometimes in a public bathroom, sometimes using a dashboard vanity in some remote parking lot.

    She knows that I go to the Keystone Conference, but like Vegas, what happens at the Keystone Conference stays at the Keystone Conference.

    I guess the hardest thing for her was letting me go out, and imagining all the bad things that can happen. But like any cis-woman, I've learned the rules: always be aware of your surroundings and buddy up with someone instead of walking alone at night.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  6. #31
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    2,015
    This is a very interesting topic as my wife and I had a similar discussion just the other night. My wife knows fully that I am a crossdresser and is currently OK with that knowledge. She has seen pictures of me dressed and often sees me in panties. So far she is accepting. I openly asked her what she would think if we planned a day where she left for the afternoon and I dressed for her return. She initially stated that she might not be happy with that if I chose to do that without her knowledge. But she thought about it and said she might be OK with it if we both had agreed in advance. Then our conversation moved on to her asking why I felt the need to wear full make up and wear body shaping attire. My impression (might be wrong) was the make up and wig might be the tipping point of her acceptance/ understanding of her husband desire to crossdress. I wish there was an easy explanation I could provide but so far I have none. I wish I understood what it is about dressing that holds my appeal so much. I do think seeing pictures of me fully dressed and seeing me fully dressed in person are not the same. The good news is my wife does make an effort to seek to understand and I truly believe she is not judgmental but actually has a desire to openly discuss my desires for her better understanding.

    I am not sure that I have the courage to dress in front of my wife yet. I am a crossdresser who enjoys being enfemme when I have the opportunity but I do not have a desire to dress full time all the time.

    Having open conversations about crossdressing desires is not easy but it sure has been helpful in our relationship. So we take our time share our thoughts and find common ground. Talking things out and being open and honest isn't easy for me but it sure has been a blessing for my wife and me. One thing she has made perfectly clear to me is her knowing about my dressing and me not hiding my dressing from her is more tolerable than leaving what my dressing is about to her imagination. I guess to sum it up her knowing what I do when dressed her efforts to understand it is better that her wondering what this desire is all about.

    Learning how other couples deal with this has been insightful. Thanks all for you life's experiences.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  7. #32
    New Member Silkydog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    25
    Thank you all for your responses. I am in a conflicted stage as she is the love of my life for over 22 years. She has accepted more than I ever expected and tries to supportive. I have the upmost respect for her feelings and do not want to hurt her emotionally our jeopardize our relationship in any way. I hope in time I can continue to grow. I have zero desire to try hormones, surgeries, or fully transform. But there are times I want to experience the complete feeling of being 💯% women, feminine. She is ok with me being a Miad, but shaving and a wig just scare her.

    Reading all of the responses has given me some peace. Sometimes I think counseling would help us both. Sometimes I enjoy being Tough and manly (Blue time). Sometimes I enjoy my pink time. There is no drug that has helped me more than dressing feminine. Sometimes I just want more. I am at peace in pink mode. No anxiety, no stress, just feeling beautiful, sexy, and feminine.

  8. #33
    Member Lexi_83's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    CT, USA
    Posts
    387
    My ex-wife (divorce wasn't CD related) had friends and the husband cross dressed. He and his wife were both gorgeous. She'd been out with them a few times as well, in fact she showed me pictures when we were dating and before I told her, maybe to make my confession easier.

    She was thumbs up on shaving body hair and trying to be more slender. Hair, makeup and clothes were fine, we mostly went out to parties together and she mostly helped. Dancing with friends, even guy friends, no problem.

    Like others, after I got some sexier breast forms she started to worry I wanted to go, "All the way." Feminine gestures, walk, even a hair flip started to bother her, but we didn't go out enough for that to be a big problem.

    She also didn't mind occasional exercise clothing outings. But despite many efforts on my part, she never wanted to make love if I was at all en femme.

  9. #34
    Junior Member GinaSkirt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    52
    The fact that I am still heterosexual but like women's clothes. Who wouldn't the variety, colors, feeling sexy and I find them more comfortable. Her absolute no daisy dukes except around the house.

  10. #35
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    SE Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,875
    We do our fair share of shopping at thrift stores for my female clothing. I will take something off the rack that catches my eye and show it to her. "What do you think," I ask. All she does is give me "the look" and I know I have to put it back because if she would wear it, I can't. She doesn't wear a lot of dresses or skirts so it happens most often with blouses (tops) and sleepwear.

    Luckily, this view has moderated over time and I now own some nice clothing.

  11. #36
    Member Eva Bella's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    268
    I've always been curvy, so I never had hip pads, but I did buy breast forms in my earliest days. My GF is very accepting overall, but she couldn't abide those.

    In her words.. the makeup, wig, clothes.. it looks like the feminine side of "me." With breast forms, I looked like me wearing a female costume. So I donated the forms to a local TS group and just go natural now.

  12. #37
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Location
    USA RI
    Posts
    55
    Quote Originally Posted by Eva Bella View Post
    I've always been curvy, so I never had hip pads, but I did buy breast forms in my earliest days. My GF is very accepting overall, but she couldn't abide those.

    In her words.. the makeup, wig, clothes.. it looks like the feminine side of "me." With breast forms, I looked like me wearing a female costume. So I donated the forms to a local TS group and just go natural now.
    I have to say, breast forms just don't look or feel right. Mine are sitting in my drawer. I got some cheap ones to try out but ended up not liking them. On the plus side, I found out what size I would like to be if I could grow my own without loosing my "male appetite". B cup would be nice.

    So, the hardest thing for my wife to adjust to, hmmm, she has been open to it the entire time. I will have to ask her when I get home. She didn't like the forms either.

  13. #38
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    France, Villessot near St Christophe
    Posts
    2,753
    Me she was 5' 2" I am 6' 7" I was always too big for her in more ways than one! LOL

  14. #39
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Grand Rapids Michigan and West Michigan
    Posts
    883
    The whole CDing thing. And that CDing isn't an automatic gay.

  15. #40
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Orange County, California
    Posts
    3,080
    As others have said, its the wig. When I put one on, it totally changes my image. I look and feel more feminine and happy to see the inner girl surface.

  16. #41
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    8,393
    My wife was OK with my dressing; She even dared me to get forms and wear them for a week.
    And she even insisted that I get a Wig, and wear it when dressed. Since I was almost bald anyway,
    she wanted to see me with hair.
    The only thing was that I do not leave the house fully dressed. I could live with that.
    Rader

  17. #42
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Lost
    Posts
    6,018
    MY So has been amazing all around. She has never said anything negative, has never frowned on anything I have wanted to try and even suggests somethings. I just recently bought my first butt/hip padding panty and she said that the hips weren't enough but the butt may be too big but she did say it added to the appearance. Me, I personally don't like it so I probably won't wear it much.
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  18. #43
    I'm a Big Girl, now!! JustJoni's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Cincinnati
    Posts
    233
    My wife has pretty much rolled with everything since I told her about this, quite amazingly spectacularly, so!! Indeed, she is usually gently prodding to push my envelope wider and spread my wings a bit more and more in public. She was also the first to suggest breast forms (rather than the water balloons I previously used). All in all, she really has been tremendously embracing of all of me.
    Last edited by JustJoni; 08-17-2017 at 03:21 PM. Reason: spelling
    In between the bright lights and the far, unlit unknown...

  19. #44
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    5,982
    My SO does not want me to wear a wig. So I grew my hair long. She asked me to get it cut so I brought up the wig again. My Hair is long. LOL
    Part Time Girl

  20. #45
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2,615
    It period. What she has grown accustomed to and now prefers is body shaving, but that is about it as far as adjusting to and liking. Once in awhile her mood is fairly light hearted and we can goof about it, but usually not.

  21. #46
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    East coast
    Posts
    2,559
    Just the fingernails when they get to 1/4 inch beyond the tip of fingers. Less than that is OK.

  22. #47
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    just west of syracuse n.y.
    Posts
    22,887
    My wife hasn't had a hard time adjusting to anything. I wear my hair long so I have no need for a wig. But I think she would be fine with it.
    Angie

  23. #48
    Member rian's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    middle East
    Posts
    444
    well our wives has some limits to what they want us to wear ...i think we should not push these limits too much ...for example my wife accept me wearing normal dresses and some make up but not lingeries infront of her ...i think i look more sexy than her ...it is a competition to another women
    Cross-dressing is a cross between woman's soul and man's heart.....

  24. #49
    Mountain Lass
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Wales UK
    Posts
    391
    Wife comes to helpline.

    Helper tries to cut through all the confusion.

    Then the list comes.

    Makeup. Breastforms. Heels. Wigs.

    Why these cause so much trouble is still a puzzlement to me, but here goes.

    One of the things most cders say over and over is 'I am still the same person...' the problem being that the wife does not see it that way. Whatever her sticking point is (and please don't start on the baby steps routine) you are changing before her eyes. You want to look feminine. She wants her man.

    It doesn't come down to how proficient you are with the dressing or the quality of the appearance, the only thing the same about you is the colour of your eyes. Now how would you fare if the positions were reversed? It takes a lot of additions for most men to bring off an appearance. For us getting dressed and made up takes minutes. Even a skinny woman would never wear hip-pads, we have more self-respect and acceptance of who we are. Our bodies are not perfect and for most of us that is difficult to live with, but we do. We make the best of what we have. Most cders on the other hand keep striving for something impossible.

    So the more you do not look like the husband the more scared and unaccepting she may be. You do not accept that many of us have problem hair, too thin, too fine, too curly, whatever. we struggle with it. Giving up and buying a wig would not suit most of us.

    And the finished result for you may make you happy but it can cause untold grief for a woman desperately trying to understand but looking at this concoction of fakery-breastforms, wig, hip-pads, nails. Explaining that this makes you feel good is not a suitable explanation for someone desperately trying to understand.

    Perhaps you could try to be more thoughtful.

  25. #50
    Member Lea's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    South east
    Posts
    359
    At first she had to adjust that I was a crossdresser. Many people have pre conceived notions about crossdressing and crossdressers. It was hard on her but she fully supports me.

    The only thing is when I am dressed she will never call me by my female name when I am dressed. If we are out shopping she will ask does Lea need anything.

    She still makes comments occasionally that she does not know why I wear the foundation garments hose and heels. She is a shorts and tee shirt gal. But she understands it brings me comfort and completes me.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State