Question. So I have been trying to figure some shit out. So, real talk (and I do not mean to offend, I am trying to figure out how to explain it in a respectful way.) I used to be a drag King. I loved it. Then I started doing burlesque where in my head I would pretend to be a man who was pretending to be a woman. I feel the most comfortable when I think of myself this way. So wigs for the sake of being more Dolly like, over the top makeup and padding/ corsets. I guess I am in a weird state of redoing my life and I am not sure how to explain this feeling. I have felt this way for a solid 10 years but did not know how to address it. What would you even call this? I am not sure if me posting this is a really bad idea. I also know gender is not binary, but for some reason the man being a woman really resonates me with. I am not saying this is correct.
I know I come from a position of luck (is that the word?) To be a white biological female and thus am treated better than so many people. I just can't shake this feeling of wanting to dress in "drag" ( sorry not sure if this is correct) with a prosthetic penis. I walk around in padding and a wig at home and have been using a sock in my underwear.
Basically I feel like I am in s totally strange place where I feel like my existence offends so many people and I have no one to relate to.