My back story

[Venessa_48]

My first time I can remember dressing up is a photo of me when I was 2, my mother thought it was cute to put her son in a little red dress. My father had a fit, LoL. Flash forward 5 yrs, at the age of 7 I discovered pantyhose!! I remember finding a pair of my mothers pantyhose and a slip in the bathroom so I had to try them out. It changed my life forever! I was hooked.

At age 14 I got to spend the summer in Northern California with my mothers younger sister, Aunt Tiffy was great, by this time I had a some collection of girly items hose, slips, and a pair of heels. I desided to take these items with me for the summer. I would dress at night in my room and sleep in my hose and slip. Well one night for some unknown reason my Aunt thought she needed to check in on me and we'll I was busted! But to my surprise she was curious so we went into living room and sat and talked, of course the usual question are you gay, do you like boys. NO I said! I told her I just like playing dress up. I love the way pantyhose feel and how the slip glides a over the hose and I feel in heels. So she was pretty cool about it. I told her mom and dad didn't know about it so she said it'd be our secret.

Age 18, I was now having issues with who I was, so I joined the Army became a Ranger thinking this would correct what ever was wrong with my DNA. I was man! A trained killer I don't wear women's clothes. At this time I met the woman I would marry. I told her right off about my love for pantyhose only. She was kinda okay with it at first then after a few yrs she said look I married a guy not a guy/girl, oh little did she know, so I suppressed my urges for yrs. It was very had but for my marriage and my kids I did so, 20 yrs as a green beret big tough guy! Well I'm still a gurl on the inside.

I'm 48 now, I travel a lot for my job so I'm in hotels at least 7 months out of the year. I have my way with myself! I dress every night. I have only told 2 ppl in my life that I close to about my lifestyle. I have however been able to tell a complete stranger about me.Strange huh? I can wear pantyhose in front of total stranger and not bat an eye about it. But I can't tell those who mean the most to me that I still like to play dress up. I afraid of losing my wife. She doesn't want to understand it. This is why I have been so lonely my entire life. I want so badly to share this with her and for her to understand it's still me in those pantyhose, I need love too. I won't even dress fully if she would at least let me have my slips and hose. I can compromise I'm not selfish. I know that one day I won't travel anymore and I'll have to forget Venessa and it hurts me very badly.

Thank you for listening,
Love Venessa Lonely

[Stacy Darling]

So at my age you are who you are! Me Too!

Personally I can't and won't change who I am. I will bend to shelter those which need it and compromise!

If you think that you can let Vanessa go and still be yourself, I wish you well as I could not.

Just Stacy!

[Tracy Irving]

Wikipedia has a nice article about pantyhose for men. Perhaps you and your wife could benefit a little bit from reading it. Appearantly, it is a fast growing industry. Who knew?

[NancySue]

Your background and mine have many parallels especially regarding hose. My #1 then, my #1 now. I'm sorry your wife doesn't want to "understand" it. It took my wife a little time, lots of reading, lots of talking, but mostly, I don't understand it, how can she. She's totally accepting and helpful, for which I'm eternally grateful. She has a great sense of humor. When I told her, (before we walked the aisle), her first response was...laughing.."you're kidding!". She still kids me about my wanting to put on, what she can't wait to take off...especially hose. Her attitude is...well, they're just clothes. I believe many men wear pantyhose, thigh highs and stockings. I've been told by several friends, that they wear hose while hunting, fishing, skiing, etc....at their wives suggestion. I wonder how many got hooked on hose and wear often? I sincerely hope you can compromise your wife's acceptance. Vanessa and the pink fog will never completely go away. Best.

[ClosetED]

Welcome - this is a great place to share safely. Many CDers have taken 'macho' jobs. Many suppress for years when family comes first and then desire increases when they move on. You are not alone nor unusual here.
Hugs, Ellen

[sarah_hillcrest]

Here is my advice and of course YMMV. The more and more I hid things from my wife the worse and worse things got. The more open I was about it, the better things got. Communication is the key, but its so hard.

The other hard thing is that if you're willing compromise and be very restrictive about your activities and she is not willing to negotiate about it then you have to take a long hard look at your happiness.

[Teri Ray]

Vennasa your story is not uncommon. Welcome to the forum. I know you will find the folks here are great. Lots of information, experiences and opinions to share. Hopefully you and your wife can have "the talk" and find some form of understanding and compromise. You are the same good person she has always known, her learning of your dressing desires should not change that fact. I can say that for my wife and me being open and honest with my dressing desires was not easy but easily the best thing we ever did. Take it slow and best wishes

Thanks for your service. I am retired Navy.

[Lisa Roberts]

Vanessa, WELCOME!! You are not alone. It doesn't matter what made us who we are, we just are. It's taken years for some of us to come to grips regarding who we are. I truly hope the best for you and your wife. Try to be as honest as you can. See my post "Tell the Truth". Very lively and informative group of girls here to help you on your journey. Again, you are not alone in this.
Lace and Smiles,
Lisa

[Venessa_48]

I truly appreciate the warm welcome! I have read so many stories here the last few days. Wow I have been missing out. At times I can be a bit of a Diva but plz never take it wrong, it's just me. I think when my wife is dealing with her time on the month it ****s with my attitude and I get bitchy. That being said thank you all again for the warmest of welcomes.

Hugs&HighHeels!!

[CONSUELO]

Vanessa,
Yours is such a common story. The details may vary but the main points are the same. I too dressed at a young age. I was fascinated by sex and well before puberty I was dressing in slips and panties and anything else I could find in my sister's drawers. Then in the teenage years I developed a parallel interest in girls and then in my twenties I was involved in a young family and just thought I had a fetish for lingerie. By my late twenties I was more focussed on dressing and on being feminine and so it has continued since and it has become stronger and stronger.

I have come to an accommodation with my spouse but it is always awkward. I don't know what to say to you except that you are not alone and I hope you can find some comfort from the members on this site.