Does wearing a suit and tie impact on how you feel?

[Becky Blue]

I have been a bit quiet on here of late, there is an interesting reason for it

I usually dress very casually at work (in drab sighhhh) jeans, casual shirts etc. But last week had to wear a suit and tie for most of the week. Strangely I felt very uncomfortable and very male. I could not bring myself to login here and could not get into my usual 'Becky way of mind'.
In my usual casual clothes a feel relaxed and very gender neutral in my mind and often slip into Beckyland as I call it. Wearing the suit and tie felt so limiting and so unnatural and so male.

My question is - Does the way you dress in Drab impact on how you feel?

[SaraLin]

I have turned down good paying jobs because they required me to wear a tie. I hate them. It feels like I'm being strangled. (maybe I was hung as a horse thief in a past life???)

I'm not sure it made me feel more MALE... just very uncomfortable.

[Samm]

Absolutely. I was just talking to my wife about this. We just had 2 weddings the past 2 weekends to attend. As they were relatively casual, I did not wear a tie. Just dress pants, shirt and shoes. I told my wife that out of all the outfits she has seen me in, the wedding attire were the ones that felt like a costume to me. I also notice that my everyday male mode tee shirts never seem to fit right. But the girly ones do.

[suzy1]

Actually for me no. I am Suzy in my head and always have been although I did not realize it when I was younger.
I did a thread here the other day about being a lesbian trapped in a mans body which got ‘mixed reviews’?
We are all diferant. Some just like to dress and need that to feel fem and some are a mix of male and female despite the physical side of our bodies. I think as Suzy even when doing manly things, I am just me.
Going to get lambasted again.

Isn't life fun

[kimdl93]

I don't know if the suit changes the way I feel...that would be kinda weird. I do't necessarily feel like a business man in a business suit or a cowboy when I wear boots. I just feel like my same old self.

[Laura912]

Before retiring, wore a tie everyday. Afterwards, the throat ropes have been thinned to a favorite few. Suits come out once or twice a year and usually accompanied by grumbling to my wife about why can't I dress like her. Guess that is the price for being mixed gender.

[Judy-Somthing]

I think it's funny!
When ever there's a gathering of people where you get dressed up,

The women all dress up in beautiful dresses of all different styles and colors.
The men wear basically all the same thing, a suite all most always black. Well at least they can go a little crazy with the tie!

[Gillian Gigs]

I never had to wear a suit at work. My work uniform was steel toed boots, jeans, shirt, and vest, because I liked lots of pockets to carry things. Suits are for weddings and funerals, and ties are from the pit of hell! If I ever had to wear a tie, it was on a large collared shirt and it was as loose as possible. Now as far as suits go, how about a skirt to match the coat and a loose scarf instead of a tie, I could go for that!

[Dana44]

I have a few suits as I was a professional engineer. and to wear them for going to customers or buying another company. For wedding and funerals I would still wear them. I have always worn cowboys boots with them as I was a cowboy and a rancher. A good business suit always felt nice as we are dressed as good as we could be. But it felt like our old selves anyways. Nothing special, but when I am dressed nice as a girl. I do fell that better.

[marlacd]

Suits, are suits, are suits. Ever notice that suits look good standing- but sit down in them, and they look awful. Those pants ride up, looking like they don't fit you. One teacher I had in high school, wore a suit every day- with white socks. Buy one, and chances are very good it will be in style-forever. Yes, I feel different when wearing a suit- standing. Sit in it, and I feel like I'm wearing one that doesn't fit. I also feel very male- and uncomfortable.

I think men's tees are made very cheaply- and short. I've seen those tapered tees, I'd like to try one, but I can't convince myself that $30+ for one is worth it.

[Krisi]

I act differently when dressed up. I wouldn't work on my car in a suit and tie and I wouldn't go to a funeral in jeans and a T shirt. I dress for the circumstance, not the other way around.

Interesting story: I used to wear dress clothes and a tie to work. Visitors to the building (wearing suits and ties) would wave and say "good morning" or "hello". Occasionally, I would have "dirty work" planned so I would wear jeans and a work shirt. On those occasions, I couldn't help but notice that the same group of visitors would look at the floor or away when they passed me in the hall.

[franlee]

I must admit I seldom had to put on a suit and tie but when I did I liked the feeling of Neat and Proper it gave me. I think Tracy Irving said it about the same as I'm trying to. In my work hardware and the leather sometimes made sitting or riding a bit uncomfortable and made me self conscious if any was bulging at the hip or under the arm and that even became a part of the experience.

[IleneD]

When I retired from the military they offered retirement classes in how to engage the business world to prepare for life outside. The distinct point was made that the Business Suit was “their uniform”, [so get it right and wear it well.]

I’ve been a Uniform Guy all my life it seems. I wore the colors of my sports teams; always played sports (not like I had a choice either). In high school and college I identified with my team and the uniform. When I taught high school, I wore a uniform as coach. I joined the Navy and for 30 years I wore a uniform.

Looking back and trying to analyze the HOW & WHY I came to this TG/CD point in my life, late in life. I believe my uniforms played a major role, not in creating my dysphoria but in helping me hide and bury my inner woman. I was always a team guy with my identity wrapped inside the team and the uniform. I actually believe now that The Uniform helped me hide out among the very male clubs into which I felt I didn’t belong. The uniform helped hide my femininity.

For almost 6 decades I found comfort in my uniform. It made me feel “normal. I never had to develop a real identity. My identity was The Team, or The Navy. I was Number 35, or Coach (real first name), or Commander (real last name). I was never Me.

When I retired all that was gone. I had to face the real me; even “develop” a real sense of identity that I never had That’s when the Real Me, Ilene and my femme side, began to grandly emerge. Free from the constraints of the uniform She sprang forth with a vengeance.

I’m not complaining, BTW.

[Cassiek]

Underdressing is always an option. In the pats I have been known to wear a really cute and sexy chemise with garters and stockings under my suit. Besides what's wrong with having a little fun playing the hot sexy executive once in a while

[Tracy Irving]

I only wear suits when the occasion calls for it but I have absolutely no problem doing so. I feel like a better version of me when I do.

[CarleyR]

I only wear suits when the occasion calls for it but I have absolutely no problem doing so. I feel like a better version of me when I do.

I agree with Tracy. I guess I like to look good no matter what gender is being presented.

[Lucy23]

Once again I find myself in the minority here. However, I used to abhore suits and the likes. That was probably because all I ever had up to that point were suits bought as a whole, none of which were actually good fitting.

Then I had a tailor make me one and that completely turned the tables for me. I really like nicely fitting blazers, good looking trousers, etc. In fact, I really hate the word "drab" because I don't think it reflects the recent trends in men's fashion. Sure there is not as much variance as in women's, but it's far from dull in my opinion.

I'm with gendermutt on this: the more well dressed I am in men's clothing, the better I feel about it. There is so much potential for those willing to discover it.

And as for ties, well, the same can be said about bras: If you think your tie makes you choke, you're wearing a wrong one.

I once tried to wear my favourite business dress, nice pantyhose, underwear, and of course heels for some eight hours straight. I was working from home that day so I thought, "Hey let's see how long I can be dressed like this." To be honest, after several hours I was glad that I could put them away after I was done. I feel the same with my favourite men's clothes: It's all fun and games for the first few hours, but after that I'm more than happy to put even those away.

[GretchenM]

Dressing in drab rarely makes me feel any different. But a suit and tie and all fancied up in pure masculine? It becomes a war. I have never liked those monkey suits and the older I got the more I disliked them. When I do have to wear a suit I often have to brush all the dust off the dark blue jacket or I will look like I just walked out of a the prep room in a bakery. It is the tie that really triggers the animosity. Without a tie is just uncomfortable. But the moment I put that tie around my neck and tuck it under the collar of my shirt the bombs are dropped and exploding everywhere. Once I tried putting on a necklace just to see what would happen. Nothing happened. Took it off, put on the tie, and I had to duck and cover.

[Jaylyn]

Most definitely Becky it impacts the way I feel. I feel strangled in suits and ties. I told my wife she had better not bury me in one or I would come back and haunt her. I hate suits just to be point on about them. I love my wranglers, bots and shirts ( which are now mostly Columbia Fishing shirts) they are way cooler working but do have draw backs when working in brush. I don't think my work clothes have an impact on my labor on the farm. Let's face it you can work in high heels in the sand and grass burrs. I do have a change of attitude when I dress in my soft dresses or my panties and the frilly things. I think we all do that. I feel excited to almost anxious about dressing. The drab I have work in just comes with the job. Good high top boots to keep the burrs and rattlers away and good socks to comfortably make it thru the day are just a way of life out here. Suits unless your the preacher or banker are not worn very much. I even wear my newest wranglers n a long sleeve shirt to Church but will throw a jacket over the shirt for funerals and such. It definantly impacts how I feel. I'm still me under neath but my clothes set the tone of how I am supposed to act and feel.

[Julie Denier]

Guess I'm the odd one here. I love wearing suits and ties. For work, I only need to wear them for conferences and trade shows, but I wouldn't have a problem if I had to wear them more often. Love a sharp suit with a great tie and a coordinating pocket square. Whether en femme or en dude, I love classic, polished looks.

[Sarasometimes]

Becky, I recently went to a wedding in a black suit and tie black socks and shoes with a tie to match my wife's lined lace gorgeous blue dress with silver shoes and I was feeling quite envious. I now just getting to a point where I can at times integrate a Sara state of mind with the outside appearing all male but it is still much a work in progress so I see where you are coming from.

Glad to have you back!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

It sounds obvious, but the secret to comfortable neckties is the collar size of the shirt. Measure your neck than add at least an inch, maybe even 2". You'll still look smart, but you'll be a lot happier.

[Cheryl T]

Yes, for sure !!
Wearing a suit and tie makes me feel like I'm going to the gallows. The noose is around my neck.
Generally this is only at weddings in my case which makes it even worse as I'm surrounded by women in all those beautiful dresses and I long to shed my shackles and spread my wings in something beautiful and flowing.

[Ressie]

Nikki^ is correct. Those that are complaining about being choked most likely need a larger size neck. Or, you can skip buttoning the top button. It won't show if your tie isn't loose. OTOH, too big a neck size won't look right either.

To me suits feel more like fem clothing than jeans & T shirt - because the material has polyester or even silk added. Ties have a silky feel to them too. I got a hug from a bride a few years ago and she loved the soft feel of my cotton suede sport jacket.

I've also noticed that when I wear a suit & tie more women look my way. I guess they equate that look with power, money etc. No, I'm not an attorney; far from it.

[Stephanie47]

Before I retired I worked across the desk from CPA's, attorneys and professional men and women. There was no written requirement to wear and suit and tie. I wore a dress shirt, tie, shined shoes and slacks. If I did wear a suit jacket/sport coat it would have been hanging in the corner of my office. I always wore solid color shirts..sometimes white, but rarely. I expressed how I felt getting out of bed through the ties I wore. Dressing professionally when dealing with professionals always had a positive impact on my mind. Women in my office dressed so casually it was insulting to the clients we dealt with. Some looked as if they were headed to the beach. Way to unprofessional. Dressing so casual usually undermined any authority which the clients perceived we had. I have preened my male wardrobe of dress shirts and ties. I still project how I feel any given day with the graphic tee shirts I wear.

The only nexus between how I dressed as a male with how I dress as a woman can be stated as "all in." I do not own any women's pants..anything with legs. It's always a pretty dress and heels with all the proper undergarments. I guess I slip quite easily between male role and female acting.