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Thread: And here I go again......

  1. #1
    Junior Member lostinmyworldcd's Avatar
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    And here I go again......

    About 3 months ago , I purged again .... I have probably done it 8 times in the last 30 years..... For me , dressing and being "pretty" has been like a drug ..... An addiction .... I catch myself wanting more and more time to just act like a girl. I either burn the entire collection or just simply throw it all away ...... Sometimes it has been thousands of dollars worth !!!!!!! Fast Forward three months ...... The Sally Hanson "Pink Up" Gel polish that I kept wouldn't stop calling to me ..... I LOVE painted pink toes and Fingers ...... I love bracelets and rings .... I love bra's and the feeling of pantyhose and most of all I Love wearing heels !!!! So Here I go Again .... Im really excited about tomorrow .... Why you might ask ???? Cause UPS will be coming With Heels , Corset , and I few other articles of clothing that I just can't seem to live without ...... Funny how I can go months and not even think about dressing ..... and then "boom" , something triggers it ......

  2. #2
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    I'm a fashion retailer and I love you.
    I used to have a short attention spa

  3. #3
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    I don't see this as something you need to change. If you're happy dressing only occasionally or even rarely, you're probably better off. I'm also not as against purging as many are. If it's a cyclical thing, that's just the way it is. If it's not a financial burden, enjoy your new things when you're ready.

    This thing we do is much more of a problem when it doesn't ever go away. Nothing wrong with it going away, as there's nothing wrong with it coming back. Just be yourself.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    I know what you mean. I have purged three times (never will again) and have at times gone for years without any thoughts of dressing and suddenly, seemingly from nowhere I become obsessed - hello pink fog!

    Enjoy your new things!

    Elizabeth

  5. #5
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I don't think you story is all that uncommon. I have purged a few times over the years, although not in the last decade and never for 1000s of dollars.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  6. #6
    Member Caitlin_85's Avatar
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    I've finally reached the point with myself where I will never purge again. This is a part of me and I'm no longer trying to fight or hide it. So other than things I no longer I like...I will keep everything, even if I don't dress for months.
    I want to be a girl - that's all.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Purging is an act of self loathing. Do what it takes to accept your TG nature and stop purging. You will be happier and have more money in your pocket.

  8. #8
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Never purged probably because I'm too tight to see all that hard earned cash go south. If as some are, you're one of those who's desire to dress comes and goes with extended periods being dormant, then purging is perhaps not such a bad thing as fashion moves on so at least you're keeping up to date. I suppose in some ways I'm on a permanent purge as I try to keep my wardrobe current and under control size wise so items regularly find their way to the charity shops. Sort of first in, first out.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  9. #9
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    Every time I've purged I have always regretted it later. My desire to dress comes and goes also. Seems like there are triggers that also causes me to dress. It's raining outside and I'm feeling the urge as I type this... Lol I guess like the song says rain makes the corn, corn makes the whiskey, whiskey makes me feel kinda frisky. Actually that should have been make my baby feel frisky. But rain is a good thing in West Texas.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Like some have said here it's time to accept yourself as a CD and one who enjoys feminine express on occasion.
    Don't beat yourself up about it.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    Stop purging. On my last purge I lost stuff I could not replace like good ole heels. That look good on anybody. And a nice denim skirt as well as makeup and other stuff. So just put it n a storage bin and store it util you need it again. Also the more you accept yourself, it will be better for you and stop beating yourself up. You are what you are, a CD and it will always come back.
    Part Time Girl

  12. #12
    Queen of Chinatown jennifer0918's Avatar
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    The mechanics of purging is to dispose of items with the intention of never going back to those items. I donate my stash to a cause LGBT, but it's only to update my wardrobe.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    The danger comes when you get rid of something and later you say to yourself I wish I had kept that skirt/blouse a or whatever. So far I have kept everything except a short white skirt and crochet blouse which I came to realise were just not "me".
    But whilst looking through what might go out there is the joy of looking at all the beautiful things that you like to keep and wear.

  14. #14
    Hellion on Heels Kayliedaskope's Avatar
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    Like others have said, put away, don't purge. Only purge the things you KNOW you will never wear again, or things that are worn out. (Donate them to a sister CD'er!). Regulate the clothing to storage, but maybe keep a few of your favorites on hand for when the pink fog appears again. Purging is expensive!

  15. #15
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Don't purge...period. Fashions always return. Enjoy your wardrobe...past and present. Most, as you see, regretted purging. I dod...once, but never more. It will not make the pink fog go away, it's expensive...all negatives. Keep your things and enjoy.

  16. #16
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    DON'T PURGE...don't purge. If you feel that you must do something, then put it all in some form of storage! Then you are not loosing the clothes and it doesn't cost the same way.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  17. #17
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Here's hoping UPS delivers every item you ordered and they all fit perfectly!

  18. #18
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    As the others said, do not purge! Realize that this is not going away! Box it up and store it for next time! Get to know your self! You are on a journey of discovering who you are! Sit back relax and enjoy! Best wishes going forward! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  19. #19
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly View Post
    Purging is an act of self loathing.
    Not really; it could simply be a way of discarding that which you don't feel you need anymore. It really depends upon the person. I'll never know if I could have kept my crossdressing in check if my life had taken different turns. If my wife was more supportive, if I didn't lose my job, all kinds of variables come into play.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  20. #20
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
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    You have been a member since 2015, so you likely have read that this does not go away. It is not an "Addiction" as none of the addiction treatments are effective. As others said, you just need to acknowledge this is part of who we are, we are not harming others physically, and times will come when the need becomes stronger. So put the stuff away in storage in in hiding and have it ready when the desire returns, as it will. So we hope the delivery came on time and you also had time to try everything on - we know the feeling of wanting to try it all and enjoy the experience. Hopefully, it is many hours or days.

    So you posted to share your happiness - do you want support on why it is OK to feel happy?
    Hugs, Ellen

  21. #21
    Junior Member
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    If you feel strongly that you need to purge then that is your decision and should be respected. It would be terrific if you could selflessly donate to charity organizations. I purged when I was young but no one benefited from that. Wish you well.

  22. #22
    Member cdtraveler's Avatar
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    While I have not.purged in years I too strugle with self acceptance with regard to my split personality. I am begining to think I am either transgender and simply too.stuck in my.male world and all that I love too.dearly to leave to squarely face this or am perhaps non bianary if that's the correct term ie called to be both male.and female. Either way.I think the trick is to learn to love myself no matter what and even while having to hide my non assigned.gender love of things fem for the sake of job and family I can still learn to accept this.

  23. #23
    Member marlacd's Avatar
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    I stop and not dress for months, but I never purge. I'll come back and want to dress again, I know it.
    I don't dress up because I want to be a woman, I dress up to make me happy.

  24. #24
    Junior Member lostinmyworldcd's Avatar
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    When I post something , Im usually trying to help someone ..... But you might have hit on something ClosetEd ..... I might have posted to help myself this time ... Will See .... I really appreciated all you ladies responses , and I read most more than once .... I guess I'm hitting a mark in life that I'm kinda dreading .... "50" .... I've had my fair share of tragedy . I've buried 2 daughters . Mother of the first killed her when she was three , And the son of the woman I was living with , killed the other last year with a shotgun , only inches of where I am sitting right now ..... Not to mention I've been dating a 32 year old woman with 4 kids !!!!! I have alot on my mind about "Where I should be " and "where should I be going in life " right now .... My body seems to be breaking down to make things even more worry-some.

    I have to agree with most of you that Crossdressing is somehow possibly wired into our brains , maybe a "real" split personality ...... All I wanted was to hear everyone's truths ....... It really shows in people sometimes , about how some of us are alike , by their thoughts and responses .....

    I joined here in 2015 , cause in real life , I was alone in this ...... And whatever the future holds , at least I'm not "alone" now


    Thanks Ladies.....

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