Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Came out to my wife

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    71

    Came out to my wife

    I told my wife last night I was transgender. Her response was what i expected for the most part
    Doesn't want to be with a woman doesn't want the kids to be confused be bullied etc
    Basically not ok with me transitioning
    But wants me to be able to live a happy life even if its not with her

    But I do feel some relief even though you hope for a more positive response

    She has always known about dressing and i usually have my nails painted

    So now I have to do some soul searching and see if a gender queer /non binary will work for me

    Hopefully she will be a little more understanding now thats she knows and We can save our marriage even if it means me not transitioning
    Now that I am not hiding from it will help my mental state

  2. #2
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,643
    Wow big step for you and very emotional for your wife. Did you seek counseling at any time with or without your spouse? Support groups?
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    71
    I am seeing a gender counselor myself. I would like to have her go to some sessions with me if/when she is ready.

    There is a support group that meets every other Saturday that I am going to start attending
    The same group has a support group for signifigant others and families that I think would be great for her to attend when she is ready

  4. #4
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Boston Area
    Posts
    4,099
    Think of your wife's response as a first offer. Show her that this effects your life (and subsequently her life and your kids' lives) in a positive way and there may be room to negotiate. Good luck.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  5. #5
    GerriJerry Gerrijerry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,150
    What you have just done , is a major step. Your wife now needs time to get her feelings together. She will need private time with a counselor. You will need time also with your counselor. Some time down the road you both will need to decide what is best for each of you. There is no correct answer for either of you. It is simply what each of you need to make life workable for both of you. Maybe that will be together. It is way too early to tell. Emotions run high, everything else gets confused.
    TO OVER WEIGHT TO POST A PHOTO, MY wife tells me I look like I am pregnant

  6. #6
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Katrina,
    The first point is deciding what you really need yourself before you make any false promises to your wife . She knows some of the facts but don't blind her with too many labels she won't understand . The bottom line is will she still have a husband and a father that is her biggest fear, that's where you have to be honest with yourself before you can answer her, then you can start to work it out . How you appear is mostly irrelevant, at least you don't have to hide it depending what the situation with the children is, you must be fair with her on that issue and respect her wishes with them .

    It's hard to answer about your mental state, we are all different, I always make the point that we come to the forum for help because we care about our family, very few are that selfish to say they don't care because we are mostly caring people .

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State