The cause of being a cross dresser.

[Dianna_ericka]

Barbara: thanks for your commwents, I was trying to convince my mother to allow me to have the thights for my use and she never told me "no" but never happend, and ,I was very disapointed when I saw my sister wearing them and then go to be cleaned and return to her again, I went with my mother when she bought for me, and she told me that they were for me.
That made me realize that cloths will be an issue, but for me are just cloths.
I agree with you, if you are not harming anybody, then you have the rigth to dress as you want, and if it makes you happy, please continue doing it.
Huges,

[sometimes_miss]

If a "cure" is ever found I'll kill to be first in line to get it.
Jon

Uh, no, you wouldn't. Not right now, anyway. The only current way, is ECT, and it appears that only works by destroying whatever memories or thoughts that were part of why you crossdress. Would you really want to be reduced to pretty much an imbecile or a vegetable rather than put up with the desire to crossdress? I wouldn't. Not to mention, often those memories often come back anyway, and you're back where you started, only worse off because you can't think as clearly. I don't know if anything's changed, but I've met people who've undergone that sort of treatment for this. No thank you.

I have to wonder when people say if they didn't dress they would go into a deep depression.
I mean you are an adult you know how life works, the difference between right and wrong all that kind of stuff.
If I couldn't dress ever again I would get over it and not fall into a depression. I would still be a female trapped in a male body but I would survive.
I guess I am made of stronger stuff that some people.

It's different for each of us. I'm in the same situation. I can stop, but it makes me rather frustrated, holding back the desire all the time, and that leads to becoming short tempered and even nasty, forgetful, and yes, somewhat depressed (depression can vary from mildly annoying to complete loss of function). So, why stop? I can be miserable either way.

I do not see CDing as a medical illness, It is the results of our individuality, social environment and genetic make-up.
To clam it as an illness is really an attempt to tailor us CDers to that narrow social standard.

Not exactly an illness, but probably more of a simple variation in gender identity, only it's so disturbing to most uneducated people that it's treated as a horrible disease by them. Once they know where it's coming from, and more importantly, why they feel this revulsion to it, only then can they accept us for who we are. Unfortunately, most people are still stuck mentally in the dark ages, when all they had to help them understand was their religions, which weren't particularly fond of guys who crossdressed. Then of course, we have the typical male feeling that anything feminine is second rate, so we have to battle that too. What I wonder, is, when women will come around to understanding that as long as they feel that a man behaving like a female is a terrible thing, all that they are doing, is insulting themselves at the same time. This, last, I cannot figure out; or do they actually like being considered less smart, less able, less of everything then males? That's the mystery to me.

[taylor12]

I started crossdressing because of the mind resistance it can give you.

At first i thought mini dresses had advantages

Currently i am trying to get a curvy body exercise like Cardio, Side Leg hung by testosterone hormone i am 24 yrs old

[rian]

That is exactly why we will never stop crossdressing ...it is a part to keep balance in life ....we are women dressed in men ...

[Crystal 42]

I agree with Rian. My crossdressing is what gives me a sense of balance. I have no idea how someone who is not a crossdresser functions because I've always felt I had to keep two distinct halves of myself happy. I don't want any cure because I like the sense of perspective being male and female in my mind offers. To bury the female side would be self-destructive as I know from unhappy experience and what sometimes_miss said about getting short tempered and depressed I emphasize with a great deal.

[Krisi]

My theory is that I dress as a woman because my mother (long gone at this point) was really hoping for a daughter and secretly dressed me as one when I was a baby and no one else was around (she admitted this in a letter she sent to everyone in the family shortly before she passed). She would also make me model dresses she sewed for her nieces when I was five or so. I think I'm somehow trying to be the daughter she always wanted.

That's only my theory for why I dress and I don't really care why anyway. It's not going to make a difference.

As far as a "cure" for crossdressing, there already is one: Don't do it. When you get up in the morning, put on briefs and a T shirt, not a panties and a bra. That's the cure. It's all in your head and under your control. Nobody is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to dress as a woman.

I typically dress as a woman for several hours most days but if I have something to do as a man, I dress as a man. Being retired, my wife and I sometimes take a trip lasting for a month or two. I don't take my female stuff (except for panties which by now are just underwear) and have no problems, depression, etc. I enjoy what I'm doing and seeing and I'll dress when I get home. If I could never dress again, I would deal with it.

[Leslie Mary S]

Krisi nice story. You are lucky to have a SO who accepts and supports. I live sort of alone.
I have a friend who shares this home who supports, but all she is a knowing friend, we each do our own thing. She works nights and is busy with her children and grand children. None of my knowing children in this area are supportive. I have one GG 150 miles from here who is an actively supporter.

[sarah_hillcrest]

I don't think there will ever be an answer to this question, other then what you decide yourself.

I was a somewhat effeminate child and I know I disappointed my Dad, who wanted a boy who would hunt, fish, and fix engines, instead of one who liked to draw, sing and play RPG games. I never wanted to be a girl when I was a boy, but I was always curious about the girl things. I always wondered what slumber parties were like, and what it was like to feel pretty. I also knew that I wasn't suppose to wonder about these things and tried to bury them. As a result I don't think I really ever developed a strong male or female gender.

[IleneD]

When someone figures it out.......
let me know.

[sometimes_miss]

I don't think there will ever be an answer to this question,.

That's because there isn't 'an' answer. For some it might be genetic, for some, hormone exposure during development, for others, conditioning at key points in personality development, or who knows what else. It's not something that can be simply assumed to be caused by one, single thing, and that's where the research always goes awry, because they're looking at it as if it were an infectious or degenerative disease state. A big problem that plagues us, is that each researcher, in their hypothesis about what causes it, assumes that there is only ONE cause. Then, when faced with a person who does not fit their hypothesis, they seem to abandon their research, assuming that the idea must be wrong. Instead, they should continue and see if the hypothesis fits at least some crossdressers. And then try to see what ELSE can cause it.

It's odd; pretty much everyone agrees with the old phrase, 'There's more than one way to skin a cat', but lose that understanding when faced with something they don't yet comprehend.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
I'm not sure if I agree with you saying you are under control, I don't mean the pink fog but something much deeper, it's a strong driving force and at times impossible to control. That's why we have to see counsellors and start to transition to varying degrees . Not to put the clothes on is not a cure it's the window to World of how some of us feel inside, dressing helps to subdue GD and provides a degree of balance to our needs .

[DMichele]

Cheryl,
I will leave determining the 'cause' of crossdressing (and gender dysphoria) to the medical science world. I only hope they fine convincing evidence that makes us normal; and that the public is educated accordingly. Of course it will take another generation or more for John & Jane Doe to accept us.

[giuseppina]

Hello Cheryl

I read some of the articles found in the professional journals from time to time; what I've read is the sperm determines the sex of the genitals and nothing more. Everything else appears to be side effects. At the moment, I'm wading through a piece on the effects of testosterone or the lack thereof in utero on mice. It seems that male mice that don't get enough T to fully throw the switch from female to male tend to be effeminate. It remains to be seen if this translates to other animals, including Homo sapiens.

As for a cure, I'm inclined to think there would be so many side effects, possibly life threatening, that leaving myself the way I am would be the safer route.

[Sarah Doepner]

I really try to avoid using the word "Cure" when discussing crossdressing. It is not a disease or a disorder in and of itself. Neither is it a "lifestyle choice" as some want their followers to believe. Crossdressing is a response to something else as is the negative view of crossdressing held by many in our society.

My opinion, is this; The cause is being human, and there is a normal variation in how we view our gender identity. Most humans register pretty much at one end of the scale or the other and it tends to agree with their physical form. The rest of us are somewhere else on the scale and depending on how far off it is from where we are physically it can cause discomfort or dysphoria. We can "self-medicate" with a non-toxic substance called clothing and attempt to bring that image in the mirror in line with our self image. If this works we are crossdressers. If it doesn't work and we need to modify our body to find that balance, we begin to transition from one physical state to another, including but not limited to hair removal, hormone changes and surgery.

It is not a process of being cured but presents an opportunity to become more aware of ones self, particularly in the context of gender.

[Paula_56]

FWIW

https://www.sciencedaily.com/release...0213112317.htm

[Stephanie47]

I reach seven full decades on this planet this year and I still wonder about the cause of my desire to wear women's clothing. Over the years on this forum I've read posts of little boys yearning to be girls, dressed in girl clothing by family members, and, so on. Me? I was never dressed up for fun or punishment by my mother or anybody. I did not have a sister until I was almost twelve. My first foray into my mother's garments was her white full slips which she hung to dry in the sole bathroom in our apartment. I was drawn to the feel of the nylon fabric. It felt like none of my clothes. I fondled her slips and finally I decided to try one on. There was no sexual motivation. No desire to become a girl or a woman. When puberty came around, yes, there was a sexual component. But, then again didn't every teenage boy have some sort of sexual motivation?

It still does not answer the question of why? A counselor I have conversations with for reasons other than cross dressing (war related PTSD) is of the opinion each person has some level of DNA of the opposite gender. Some have more than others. That sounds plausible. It use to bug the crap out of me trying to figure this all out. Several decades ago I came to realize I did not have a problem with myself. The problems arise because others have problems accepting someone who is different than themselves. I know men and women who have issues with gays and lesbians and transgender men and women. Watch any CNN lately? I know men and women who do not like any people of "color." Or who do not practice the same religion as themselves. Or the same denomination within their religion. Yes, there is a "cure" for cross dressing. It is called "acceptance of self." I may have to deal with people who do not like cross dressers and transgender men and women, but, I no longer have to deal with myself.

[penny lace]

We are what we are what is an issue with us is what society accepts as normal.
Girls can be tomboys wearing jeans and jumpers and rejecting feminine attire and that is fine. A boy wants to wear a dress and 'feminine' under wear and well we all no the response that engenders.
Similarly in to adulthood women can dress in male clothing and still be totally accepted. A guy the other way is considered a freak or something to be laughed at.
No cause just our nature

[Sometimes Steffi]

There was a time in my life that I would have gladly taken the cure, but at that time I didn't even know the word crossdresser. I only heard the word gay (well it was a different word then, which is now considered a pejorative).

Now that I'm happily out to myself, and have a large group of like-minded friends, there's no way I would take the cure.

[Susan Smokes]

I don't know what the cause for me is. Maybe one day I will figure it out. All I know is I am enjoying being a Cross dresser no matter what the cause is.

[Alice B]

A cure does not exist because it is not a disease and never has been. Even though for years doctors thought it was. Now they know better.

[Kayliedaskope]

If you ask fifty different cross dressers what is the cause of their cross dressing, you will receive fifty shades of CD'ing. (OMG, did I really just type that???) Many of us have similar stories: started as a kid, a relative's intimates ...and so on. Other will have different reasons (relaxing, comfortable, softness, etc.). There are as many answers as there are CD'ers, and more often than not, even more questions. Is there a cure? I don't know. To be fair, I don't care a whole lot if there is. I just want to be able to be me ...ALL of me, whether that person is male, female, or somewhere along the spectrum in between.

[Ginni]

Cross dressing is a compulsion. It is like I have two different personalities. When I dress I feel wonderful. I love make-up, jewelry, and high heels. They make me feel fantastic. Because of that I don't want a cure. Why am I this way I don't know. I believe I was born this way. I started dressing at an early age. Started with nylons and heels and progressed to full dress. I love it!

[missjoann]

For me it all started when I was a child, maybe 2 or 3 yrs of age thanks to my mother. I was an only child and she had always wanted a girl...so whenever my dad wasn't home (he worked a lot of nights) she would dress me and everyday after school she would have clothes laid out for me to wear..now at the ripe old age of 70 it is what I do and enjoy it and my wife is very supportive of me

[CONSUELO]

As Cheryl said, we don't really know the cause of us being cross dressers. Most of us can point to a key incident in early life, or we remember certain traits and interests that set us a little apart from our male peers. I have been dressing up for most of my life and being a cross dresser or for me, being a fetishistic transvestite, is a large part of who I am. It is an integral part of me and to try to "cure" it would mean ripping out a big part of what I am.

Some charlatans will say we can be "cured" but cured of what. They did the same for some poor homosexuals. Some people just like others to conform. Well to heck with them I say.

[sometimes_miss]

Cross dressing is a compulsion. It is like I have two different personalities. When I dress I feel wonderful. I love make-up, jewelry, and high heels. They make me feel fantastic. Because of that I don't want a cure. Why am I this way I don't know. I believe I was born this way. I started dressing at an early age. Started with nylons and heels and progressed to full dress. I love it!

While you may feel that you are 'compelled' to do it, it is not known to be a compulsion, for, while this may change, at present it does not respond to any known treatments for OCD.