In our heads...

[Lana Mae]

How much of the derision is in our heads?
In Walmart, in the check out with groceries. I have my Rose Blush finger nail polish on and am just going about my business. Two young ladies behind me start giggling and laughing! I felt a little embarassed but just a little! They could have been laughing at anything! Why did I draw it to myself?
I had a lovely chat with an older lady who recognized me from a previous place of employment! We talked for a few minutes and no recognition of my polish. No questions about it and no statements concerning it!
Remember I am in a conservative southern (small) city! Maybe I am overthinking it!
Hugs Lana Mae

[Tracii G]

Yes overthinking the situation.
What the two young ladies were laughing about may or may not have been because of your nails being painted but its up to you to not let their pettiness affect you.
When I get that reaction I just ignore them.
We all know what hurts two young ladies the most is no one paying attention to them.

[Dana44]

Indeed, Lana Mae, you are overthinking it. Most people don't have any trouble with polished nails.

[Ariana225]

It's a hard thing to do to let go of others judgments. I battle with that daily in my head. I guess the best would be to ignore them like Tracii suggested. I hope one day to be as brave as you to even go out with painted nails.

[Robertacd]

Frankly I think the vast majority of people don't notice or really just don't care. It's probably more like the say to themselves... "That guy has on red nail polish... Pffft... whatever...(eye-roll)".

It is always the young girls that giggle and laugh, but they just don't understand so I try to take it in stride and smile at them.

EDIT: Actually from my recent trip to Oregon I would have to agree that most of the derision we perceive or worry about is all in our heads.

[sometimes_miss]

Just like pierced ears 60 years ago, polished nails might be considered by some as a sign that we're gay. But since most of us don't take that as an insult anymore, people's derision about that isn't such a biting reaction. I think maybe now that I'm reaching my golden years, I have the right to be eccentric. So maybe the polished nails in public might be in my future sooner rather than later.

[NancySue]

It's in our roots. We, also are in a small, conservative, nosy, Midwest town....where, in fact, exposure would be a social and economic disaster. We/I venture out...carefully. I think, being aware, (common sense), of your surroundings, which causes a degree of tension, is a good thing, so we go out of town. Negative body language is a tip off. Maybe you are overthinking a little, but it comes with our backgrounds. Who knows why young girls giggle? If you're out..who really cares? When you've stepped outside your front door, you've made the decision to go out...go for it. Have a glass of 🍷 to relieve any tension.

[Erica Skifishski]

Something else. Give these young ladies credit enough that if they're gonna laugh at your nails, it won't be within earshot.

[Pat]

I take it to be a case of the dread Internalized Transphobia. It's pretty common. You yourself think that there's something wrong about your behavior and it shows up as a sense of condemnation by strangers or a fear that "everyone knows" your secret, innermost thoughts. Experience and self-acceptance clear that up eventually. It's part of the process of finding your path.

[Lana Mae]

Tracii, I did ignore them except for a glance while placing the bags in the cart. It was a neutral glance!
Dana, I have had all kind of reactions to my painted nail! Three different ladies asked if I were gay in varying degrees of negativity! One cute older check out lady at the grocery store giggled and giggled! She said she never saw a man with nail polish on. I told her I paid for the manicure and the polish came with it and I want my money's worth! She said, " Well I can't blame you for that!" That was the first time from her but on a subsequent visit she said, " Oh, I like that color it goes with your skin tone!" I have had compliments a few times on the color. The young lady at the loan company and I usually get in a conversation about nails and nail colors!
Roberta 225, I just decided that I was going to leave the color on and that was that! First it was out and about but not at work! Later I said well I am going to try it ay work and if no negative comments then I will continue to wear it at work! After denying being gay, I have had no other problems! I work in an assisted living as a nurse and not even family members that visit have said anything!
Roberta CD, People either don't notice or don't care! I think it is mostly in our heads!
Lexi, try it! It is fun and if it doesn't work out for you then just remove it! I get compliments on color and conversations with S/As from time to time!
Nancy, note that this is in male mode, too!
Erica, they were less than 10 feet away!
Pat, so that is what it is called! I do not dress in my hometown out and about! I may leave the house dressed but not to the stores etc. locally! Eventually maybe but not right now! I guess I need more experience as I am mostly accepting of myself!
Thanks everyone for your replies!
Hugs Lana Mae

[kimdl93]

"Its desert topping - its a floor polish! Hey, hey, hey there, its both! A delicious desert topping and a premium floor polish!"

Anyone else remember that SNL skit with Chevy Chase. I just love the skit so I'll stretch the analogy. Yes, some stupid young girls with little else to do will pick up on a an older guy wearing polish. Some folks will disapprovingly imply gayness (but borrowing for 90's Seinfeiled, "not that there is anything wrong with that"), and some people will just say, good for you, be yourself!.

I wish the whole world was in the latter category, but it isn't and never has been. I presume that the first person that fashioned a wheel or started a fire was beaten to death by her clan-members. On a cold winters night six months later, her cousin started a fire and was met with appreciation . Her nephew used a wheel to move more mastodon meat into the cave and was elected tribal elder and cheiftan. (So, in the end the genes prevail!)

[Judy-Somthing]

About a year ago when the Pink-Fog was quite strong I went to a boutique that had heels up to sz. 14
I was looking at the 4" heels and when I asked the SA for a pair of sz.14's to try on a young 30's female customer let out a big giggle!
It didn't bother me since the Pink-Fog was so strong.

I did loved those heels, and my legs looked great in them.
Well I left them out one day and my wife found them and freaked out, ARRRRR and threw them out!

[Steph65]

Honestly with LGBT coming out more and more the younger generation have a certain mind set. People these days have seen and heard and experience too much dicrimination and I feel today people just want others to be happy and less concerned about some guy wearing nail polish or even a blouse. It amazes me how the younger generation is as I feel they look ay us "older" generation and say dayum never thought it would be in the older. I think it is all the mind set and how people are raised. JMHO.

[jack-ie]

Lana,
I keep mine a translucent pink prob. about half the time. I think I've only had one comment. A waitress taking my order stopped in mid sentence with a big "Nice nails" and then continued where she left off.. I was tickled as pink as my nails.
Young girls giggle about everything,. Maybe it was your nails, maybe not.

[Aunt Kelly]

Lana Mae,
I have to tell you that I am continually uplifted by your attitude. You are clearly comfortable with who you are, and whatever reservations you have about expressing your feminine self flow from a purely pragmatic place. No guilt, just practicality. I admire that. Just needed to tell you that.

Hugs,


Kelly

[CarlaWestin]

Yep, it's mostly in our heads. For quite some time I've been monitoring public venues when I'm not presenting anything for the ques that would make me worry about being clocked. And I've found that they're all still there. Since going out dressed is a rare occurrence for many of us, our situational awareness knob is turned up to 11 when we are out and about. Oh! And BTW, when's the last time anyone has laughed about a woman dressed more like a stereotypical male?

[Ressie]

I haven't been in America's south in many years but I'm sure that most of the folks in smaller towns just aren't ready to see a mature man wearing nail polish. It's a whole different culture than San Francisco.

[Lana Mae]

Kim-I sort of agree with that! LOL
Judy-Yeah, we get giggles now and then! Sorry to hear your heels got thrown out!
Steph-I think you are right! Upbringing has a lot to do with it!
Jack-ie-It may have been my nails and maybe not! I think I am going with pink next time!
Aunt Kelly-Thank you so very much! I needed that! Why did you change your avatar? I liked the old one!
Carla-Have seen a ftm laughed at and "disowned" by his mother! We mtf persons are not alone!
Ressie-I really had no problems with anyone! They asked if I was gay and moved on! I still work with those people with no problems! I guess it is my attitude! LOL
Thank you all for your replies!
Hugs Lana Mae

[CynthiaD]

I haven't been in America's south in many years but I'm sure that most of the folks in smaller towns just aren't ready to see a mature man wearing nail polish. It's a whole different culture than San Francisco.

I wear nail polish in male mode quite often, and frequently visit small towns around central Texas. I seldom get any reaction. Once in a while a GG will say "Oh, I love that color on you!" But nothing else.

People everywhere (in the USA, at least) have television and the Internet.

[Lana Mae]

Yes, Cynthia, I had a family member at work say she liked the color of my nails today! It felt nice to get a compliment from a family member! Hugs Lana Mae

[Pat]

I haven't been in America's south in many years but I'm sure that most of the folks in smaller towns just aren't ready to see a mature man wearing nail polish. It's a whole different culture than San Francisco.

I think that's reducing people to stereotypes. I've "lived around" in the US both in small towns and cities. There are cool people everywhere; there are intolerant hicks everywhere too -- even in Boston and New York City, effete East Coast liberal playgrounds. People are people.

[Lana Mae]

Pat, I have to agree with you on that one! Hugs Lana Mae

[Ressie]

Thanks girls. I guess Lana's title "in our heads" is appropriate.