Wendy Me ... can I be happy???

[Wendy me]

Hello the question is can I be happy ??

Not sure I got a ton of things going for me
Loveing life granddaughters retired
Place st the beach being Wendy just abought
All the time ....., wife knows ton of persons
Know ... wife doesn't accepte it at all


So here I am after a week of doing Wendy things
Things a lot of you all would kill to do...
leavening home in fem ... you know bra panties
Skirt or dress girly shorts cute tops makeup
Just your average transgendered person
Walking the beach in a bikini my long
Hair blowing in the ocean breeze ...

I always thought what if ??? What if I had
Transsioned befor I got married ?? Before we had
Kids ??? What if ???

I sit here in full make up girly jeans cute flowing top
Hair (my own) boobs (my own) matching undies,,,
And happy??? I don't know .. I just don't know
I have everything I need or want ...
some health issues ...

I have more women's things than most GG'S have
But happy ??? I just don't know ??

How did I get here ?? Were did this Wendy come from???
Were the hell am I going ??? Good lord it's
Been a long strange trip...,

[Rachael Leigh]

Wendy, I know exactly where you are. I've gone through a lot of changes and made a lot of choices over the last two years
and now I find myself where I accept me as Rachael Leigh and know I'm the very least gender fluid. But am I more is there
futher I can or want to go. It's very interesting when one discovers parts of themselves once they let them out

[Angie G]

Do any of us know were we come from or were we are going. I'm where I wish to be I'm happyjust beingme At home with my wife.
Angie

[sarah_hillcrest]

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled

Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees.

[OCCarly]

Why question yourself? Life is too short. I don't have a beach but I have a swimming pool and lots of bikinis. Floating in my pool in a bikini is the most perfect zen moment there is and all that matters. For the first time in a dozen years I am free of panic attacks and I am not going back. This is my life not someone else's to live for me.

My father already did that to me, took over my life and ran it as if it were his for 46 years and if he hadn't had a massive stroke he still would be.

This life is mine. This moment is mine. I've fought too hard to get here and I won't let anybody take it from me.

[mechamoose]

Happiness is all attitude dear. If you don't like yourself, then nobody else can.

Happy is relative.

Happy

[kimdl93]

I'm not sure what "happy" is, but I'm pretty sure that it isn't a constant state of euphoria. You say something about loving life. Having everything you need or want...so, would it be fair to say you have attained a degree of contentment with your life. Clearly you recognize the value of the many good aspects of your life. Other than a non-accepting wife, it sounds pretty complete. So, does that constitute happiness? If having and appreciating the things you have, the people in your life, and your accomplishments doesn't constitute happiness, then you need to redefine happiness to fit what you have.

Or better yet...each morning, recite a list of six things you are grateful for. It doesn't have to be a new list every day. Express gratitude for the same things or new things. It really doesn't matter. Just the act of expressing gratitude is shown to alleviate mild to moderate depression more effectively than medication. So do it. Maybe then you'll realize that happiness is really a choice.

[Dana44]

Happiness is what each person defines for themselves. By golly I am girly and been that way for a long time. I am happy most of the time. Yeah it been a long hard trip. When we were young we had to be men. I played football in highs school When I grew up I knew I was way different than a normal male. Had to try hard to be male. But it took me half a lifetime to figure myself out and accept myself and love myself. I do have a GF that loves me as me. I think that makes me happy. We do stuff as two gals and that is so nice. I don't know what is at the end of the road. But being me is so nice without to much distraction. Right now I am in a nice flowered skirt and white blouse. Ah yeah it is good to be girly. But it has crossed my mind that I have lost a lot of strength and am now trying to recover some of that strength back. Yet, the girly classes are not doing it I may have to go workout harder.

[Wendy me]

I don't know ... I am so happy that I have
My Wendy in me and with me every day...
I totaly love my granddaughters like you couldn't
Believe ....

Then there are times like a long walk on the beach
By myself in a black skimpy bikini I forget
"He" is part of us ...and nouthing could be
Better or make things more right in the world
I have things that make me happy ...

Then I think that this transgendered person
That I am ... thinks I should have been
Born a girl that I am in fact a girl with
A deformity .., that some how things just
Went wrong .. at this point full transition
Would not be possable due to health reasons

My completion of my trip has come to a end
And it hits hard that it won't and can't happen

Then I see my kids and then my granddaughters
And think if I had transitioned none of this
Would have happened .....

So happy for what is truly happy ......
So sad for what never happened and
What never will happen .....

[kimdl93]

What never happened is non-existent. To paraphrase Yoda, "there is no what-if, only is and is not"

[Pat]

My general rule of thumb is that if you have to ask yourself if you're happy, you're not. You get to choose, you know. And you can choose to not choose. But it seems like you might be nibbling around the edges of happiness. Maybe afraid to take a bite? All you say makes it sound like you're ripe to go see a gender therapist and confront yourself about yourself.

[DMichele]

Wendy,
In the past I too pondered the what-ifs, but now that I accept myself as a transgender individual I look forward to today and many tomorrows with a brighter outlook. I guess I was nearly lost or in twilight zone for decades, but now I am found and happy.