The kids are 12 and 15. I don't think she will want to tell them. I will insist she doesn't anyway. I wouldn't dress around them so I don't think it will affect them.
You are right in that we divorced and that should be that but we are where we are and it is working ok. We have been living together for 18 months now and it is much much better than ever before. If it wasn't or if it degrades again then she will have the means to move out much easier this time.
I think the consensus is that I tell her and keep fingers crossed.
Do you think she will be happier knowing I didn't dress while we were together or is it still deceitful that I didn't tell her everything up front.
