Teresa, this may be a culture issue. I don't know what it's like in the UK, but in the US that line of reasoning has been used for decades as a successful defense for men in rape trials -- "she was asking for it" or "dressed like that what did she expect to happen?" So they're kind of charged words over here. It blames the victim and it exonerates the actions of the perpetrator. So that may explain the strong reaction you got.Originally Posted by Teresa
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
Reminds me of a song by Hole
Was she asking for it?
Was she asking nice?
If she was asking for it
Did she ask you twice?
Pat everything you stated in your post is true but it doesn't change the fact that it does matter even if it isn't right.
Thats where people get all messed up on this issue.
Its the pie in the sky viewpoint people have that is wrong but they can't seem to see that some people don't care or don't see it the same way as the person getting hit on raped whatever.
It would be wise if the Trans girl dressed more sedate in a venue like that. Its just common sense.
Common sense is lacking in so many people these days, its like they couldn't find their ass with both hands.
The outfit has bedroom written all over it. That was the first thing I noticed. It doesn't mean you were asking to get propositioned but to me it means that you wanted to get some attention. If you don't want attention from horny men don't dress in a provocative manner. I used to tell one of my girlfriends the same thing. I couldn't go anywhere with her without men getting horned up just looking at her.
As for me, I've been hit on a few times throughout my life by both men and women (in male mode). But I've never been treated like a prostitute. If I dressed like a hooker I'm sure I would get offers the same as anyone else that dresses like a hooker. And Majella, I'm not saying you dressed like a hooker, but your attire is risque (slightly indecent or liable to shock, especially by being sexually suggestive).
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
I'm with Theresa and others on this. Majella, you started the thread - you are obviously seeking comments. I hope you are not seeking to pick a fight with those whose opinions are not readily agreeable to yours. The outfit you wore easily could have easily allowed you to be read as a nightwalker/prostitute in many cities. I'm proffering an opinion based on many, many years of living in cities in both US and Europe. Let's face it, the guy didn't rape you (although in the drama of one of your responses you brought rape into the discussion). He was a guy hanging out in the women's bathroom. Let me repeat, He was a guy hanging out in the women's bathroom.. Or do we have an issue with men in women's bathroom now unless they are in heels and a wig? He propositioned you. Big Deal. You chuckled and moved on... He came over later and asked if he could hook up with a friend of yours? This is a bar and it is a place to hook up. I guess, I am not understanding where your issue is? And no, Theresa was not offensive in her comments. In fact, I think she provides some of the more sound reasoning on this board.
Attention seeking behavior, on every level... yawn...
The most common form of despair is not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard
I've been hit on a number of times when dressed.
However, the only times it was by "straight men" was on Halloween when I was masked. I knew they were "straight". Because as soon as they heard my voice they ran off screaming!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Majella - I am the last person to do "**** shaming", or "she had it coming", but you went into an after hours establishment, wearing an outfit that is kind of a creep magnet - yeah, you like it, yep you figure you can carry it off, but the outfit at what? 3am? isn't going to get you respect from a guy in an after hours club
Been asked to dance, repeatedly.
I don't, because I am not comfortable doing so. So I decline.
I keeratinp hoping somone will slide up next to me and offer to pay for my drink.
Hasn't happened yet, but here's hoping.
I did have an incident with a GG, that I am uncertain about.
At the Big Bear Renaissance Faire, Final Weekend, they had a Steampunk theme going.
This attractive GG seamstress, whom I had initially happened upon while she was adjusting her stockings, got to talking about outfits and costumes. I was in guy mode at the time, and showing off some of my femme side pictures, when she stated, "with your ability to look good as a guy or a girl, you must get laid all the time."
It kind of shocked me. I can look good as Micki, and ok as Mike, but no one has ever seemed to think I was super sack-worthy. Someone later told me that this GG, might have been offering. I told the GG that I was involved, but had never been a player.
Perhaps I am oblivious to such propositions, or to much a gentleperson.
As for the troll in the ladies room. .. he may have been soaring, not realizing how desperate he was acting. After getting shot down by the first lady, out you stepped, a new target. He may not have initially read you, but as you said your voice probably removed any doubts. When he came up later it may have been an effort to salvage some of his ego.
To have been shot down twice by attractive, provocatively dressed women. One of which, in his mind, turned out to be a guy in a dress.
Must have been decimating.
.
Rennies / cosplay enthusiasts / SCA people have a noticeable number of fairly free wheeling people
What are you more questioning, why you got hit on or the nature of the supposedly hetero guy? if it is the 1st, sorry to say but you WERE dressed the part. Your style of dress will attract this type of activity, whether or not you were actually looking for it. 2nd, I have been told by more than one gay person that there are far more closeted bi sexual bi curious or just curious people out there than we can ever imagine. Is it true? IDK, but that is what I have been told. I imagine the same goes for closeted CDers and CD admirers.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
Mikki, with all due respect, if that's your real picture in your profile and avatar, I may have tried flirting with you, as well - you look awesome!
Come to think of it, the Wild Wild West Steampunk convention here in Tucson is in March ...
Last edited by Kayliedaskope; 09-11-2017 at 03:49 PM.
In an after hours bar (this is an establishment operating outside of the regulations) so I would expect that those in attendance may be comfortable operating outside the norm. The fact that the guy was in the ladies room speaks volumes to me about conduct in this place. The fact that a female patron was OK with this guy in the restroom with her tells me that typical rules of conduct in this place aren't adhered to to strongly.
It is.and Thank you.Mikki, with all due respect, if that's your real picture in your profile and avatar, I may have tried flirting with you, as well - you look awesome!
Come to think of it, the Wild Wild West Steampunk convention here in Tucson is in March ...
Tucson is a little far at the moment, though I have driven as far as the Half Moon Ranch in Florence, for an SCA event.
Come on Majella, You said he asked you how much. That in it self tells you what he thought of you. You dressed that way to get attention and you got. You are like the women that has her breast practically hanging out of her blouse and gets mad when a guy stares at her chest. If you don't want that attention then don't draw that attention. I think you were just trying brag and it backfired.
Anyone that has seen my posts would know that I am an attention *****. I dress to be noticed, I freely admit that. Amd yes "sometimes" I might dress a little trashy. I like the attention and the compliments. I do not flirt with men, if I'm approached by a man, I am polite and sooner or later I mention that I like girls. I was not offended by what happened. I was just curious about supposedly straight men being attracted to crossdressers.
Maybe he was too drunk or high to notice or care if you were a CDer.
There are lots of men that are on the down low so they don't appear to be gay. And a lot of them seem to prefer sex with CDs, TGs or even GGs. The internet is filled with these men looking for action and occasionally one strays into the women's bathroom - apparently. They aren't getting what they fantasize about from their wives, so they try alternatives.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
If you dress to be noticed and a bit on the trashy side then don't complain if a guy thinks you have sex for money.
If alcohol is involved then he may not care what gender you are in real life.
I have been hit on in clubs and had guys just want to kiss and hold hands which is fine by me.
I have never had one ask "how much?" Ewww I would be pissed if that happened.
Straight men curiousity towards us, no matter what we look like or what we are wearing, has been a head scratcher for several years to me. I just don't get why... desperation, sexually confused, they may believe the stereotype of us doing it to attract sex or just want sexually explore something for the first time .... hmmm perhaps not aware of their own attraction to crossdressing and erroneously think they are attracted to those that do crossdress
Last edited by Princess Chantal; 09-14-2017 at 07:31 PM.
Chantal you could be entirely correct.
Who knows why really?
All I know is guys are horny and sometimes it doesn't matter what plumbing you have as long as you look like a girl.
I don't see it as complaining but more a comment on the situation I'm sure majella quite enjoyed the attention. On the point if straight guys and cd/ts girls from what I've seen and heard over the years many straight men would jump at the chance to be with one of us however it would be their dirty little secret and they would never admit it.
Been hit on numerous times...i do nor lije guys...juat a small sampke of what gg's go thru..dont dress likwca **** and your chances of being hit on diminsh drastically....not saying you did..just generally speakng
Between Ressie's answer and Chantel's, I think they pretty much got the answer. Straight guys chase after CD/TV/TS/TG because it's a way to explore some of their fantasies.
When I first was introduced into the world of CD,'s and TS's (yes, I will shamefully admit I used to think of them as that seven-letter word beginning with 's'), I was a straight(ish) guy who was curious about being with one of these interesting and fascinating people. I wanted the "bi" feeling without the "guy" feeling - in fact, I still do. We've all heard the cliches - best of both worlds, the softness of a woman, but the hardness of a man ....it was all very alluring and enticing. I met up with a few CD's, had some fun times together. Sometimes we would play, other times, we would just hold hands and cuddle, maybe exchange a peck on the cheek or two. We simply did what was comfortable for both of us at the time.
Creeps will always be creeps. Wife took me out dressed one evening, went to a mixed club about 40 miles from home, got hit on by a lady that lives 2 streets over, she never had a hint. Wife save me by claiming I was her.
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