Being propositioned

[Majella St Gerard]

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Wednesday night I was out at my usual place for karaoke had a great time as a GG friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while joined me. After karaoke I decided to hit up a straight after hours bar that I frequent. I went to use the ladies room and as I was going I heard someone enter the ladies room. A man had entered and was chatting up the woman who was at the sink. He was obviously a "player" and the banter centered around a "white powder". She exited the restroom and I thought he did too
When I left the stall he was still there, as I stepped out he startled me, he asked me what I was doing, I replied that I was using the toilet. He then said "I want you, how much to get you?" I chuckled and said "you ain't got enough", he said "why you got to be like that?". I then told him, I like girls and walked out to rejoin my friend. He later came up to me to apologize and says he meant no disrespect, that he was in an experimental mood and if I had a friend that I could hook him up with. He was standing back and talking low so his friends wouldn't know what he was up to. He wanted to fly his freak flag but not in public. What is it with "straight men" and crossdressers? Has anything like this happened to anyone else? I was wearing the white outfit in the pics with the blonde hair.

[Nikki A.]

Creeps are everywhere, just be careful. I was hit on once by another CD at a resort. Besides him probably being blind or he struck out with the rest of the crowd, any way I just more or less nicely pushed his hand off my leg and gave him the idea I was not interested.

[Micki_Finn]

Are you sure he even read you? The comment about an "experimental mood" might have just meant that since you were "into girls" he thought he was gonna talk you into a 3some with your friend.

And I hate to break it to you but as creepy as they guys are that hit on us, GGs still have it infinitely worse. Just be glad.

[cdmelissalaquinta]

Wow. Tough question. I've never been out in complete femme attire, so I have no experience upon which to draw. But a creep is a creep, whether he has read you or is just looking to hookup with someone who he thinks is a GG. BTW, if those pics show what you looked like that evening, I can see why you'd be hit on. Very very pretty! XXOO Melissa

[Majella St Gerard]

I've been told that I pass but I don't have a good female voice and he was a foot away, he knew.

[Jean 103]

Yes , like a few times. The only time I was a little worried was a couple years ago. It's close to close. I offen stay after closing and talk to the bartender while she closed. Yes I'm special. Anyway this Mexican mafia type guy started talking to me. He wants me to come work for him. He tells me I'd make lots of money. He does want to take no as answer. He and his friends were waiting out back. I asked if I could stay like I usually do. She said yes and the bouncer locked the door. When we all went to leave they were gone.

[Dana44]

Never had a male in the female restroom. He was hitting her. And he waiting for you too. You should have just walked out on him.

[Tracii G]

When you frequent places like that all the weirdos come out and you need to be ready for it.
Now if you are into that kind of thing thats fine.

[Rachael Leigh]

I agree with Traci, I'm not one to go to bars or night clubs for reasons just as this. I prefer my vanilla places I go, much safer

[Majella St Gerard]

It was a regular place I go to, the owner, bartenders and bouncers all know me, they have my drink ready before I ask for one. If I had called for help the man would be in a hospital. I never felt like I was in any danger and besides I can handle myself. I go where I want and have never felt unsafe. What use is sitting alone in your room... I'm living and not in fear. I was just commenting on the situation, straight men being attracted to crossdressers.

[Tracii G]

If you like the place and are comfy then its OK and no you shouldn't stay home you should be having fun.
I supposed you could be propositioned most anywhere but a bar is the most likely place for it to happen.
As I said if you are ok with it then its all good.
I'm not afraid to go most anywhere in girl mode and I can take care of myself too.
I just don't care to be hit on by men in a bar situation. It makes me feel cheap and disgusting like I'm just there for a hook up.

[Jean 103]

I don't know if I need to say this but I have never had a problem in a bathroom, or that all advances are bad. I met one of my boyfriend's in wallmart, he was shopping. I have also been picked up at the bar. If anyone messes with me in the bar they be throw out, without me saying anything. My friends watchout for me , not that they have to. Most of the people at the bar are regular people.

[Maria Blackwood]

$500

$800 with the pirate outfit

[Teresa]

Majella,
I hate to say this but if that's the outfit then you were playing with fire, OK he may have been a creep but I'm surprised more didn't make some suggestive remarks.

[Majella St Gerard]

So Teresa, I guess I was asking for it then? That is an ignorant statement.

[Teresa]

Majella,
Not only were asking for it but you were propositioned , so why was that an ignorant statement when it appeared to be fact ?

How many times do we read on the forum of wearing the right clothes at the right time and trying to stay safe ? So how would you describe your outfit other than provocative ?

OK we all like to have fun, I don't have a problem with that but the line is a fine one between fun and enticement and maybe your outfit stepped over that line !

I admit I have had a pass made at me recently , it was a very polite one which I dealt with in a polite way , yes he was attracted to me because of my outfit and maybe a glass of wine too many .

[Majella St Gerard]

Teresa, what you are saying is that I'm responsible for other people's actions, because I dressed provocatively I was asking for inappropriate behavior by a man with no class or manners. Would you ask a woman that has been raped what was she wearing to provoke the attack? I don't think so. Yes I like to dress to be noticed, but I also expect people to be respectful. It doesn't matter what I was wearing, now if I was wearing a sign around my neck advertising that I was a ***** with my prices, then I could understand. Your comment is ignorant and offensive.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

While I have been propositioned and dealt with it I'm on Teresa's side on this one.

I didn't think you were dressed appropriately at all.

[Jean 103]

Majella
You didn't do anything wrong. Guys are guys and some times can be pigs.

[Rogina B]

I'll say it ! That is a strange outfit to go bar hopping in Myrtle Beach ! And yes,the guy was a creep...

[Teresa]

Majella,
I did not mean to offensive but you knew what you were doing , no one forced you do dress like that way so what did you expect to happen entering a bar dressed like that ? All you needed was that sign you referred to hanging round your neck !

I still don't see my comments are ignorant or offensive , you stated the obvious so I can only agree with you .

[Majella St Gerard]

It doesn't matter what I was wearing it was still inappropriate and unacceptable to be propositioned by a man in the ladies room. My query had to do with supposedly straight men being attracted to crossdressers. My choice of attire had nothing to do with the situation. I get tons of compliments on my fashion sense from friends and strangers, yes sometimes I dress a little provocative and sometimes I dress conservatively and I've been hit on by men in both styles. Excuse me for not "dressing my age" Those who can do, those who can't preach.

[Stephanie47]

I limited my cross dressing to home and solo outings; drives and strolls in the evening. That's my choice. Someone else may make a different choice. There are always "creeps" out there who make erroneous assumptions. I have been told by some the approach he had eliminates wasted time wooing someone, when all the person wants is a sexual encounter. They hate to invest time and money and end up with nobody to take home. Sort of "nothing ventured, nothing gained." I'd also say he is operating on false assumptions. Cross dressers = gay = cheap sex. No truth in that equation, period.

As to getting propositioned, it can happen anywhere in any mode. As a young male looking for a job after getting out of the army I was riding the subway in NYC minding my own business is a business suit, when a guy asked if he could "pleasure me." I guess he was getting right to the point. Another time a gay man was trying to attract my attention when I was sharing the same subway car pole with my wife. Watch some YouTune postings of women walking down the street minding their own business and get propositioned by creeps. It routinely happened to my wife in mid town Manhattan when she was going to the unemployment office. Her reaction was to turn around and just tell them off. She has a backbone and does not take crap off anyone. So much for joining the rants this morning.

Frankly, the guy was lucky you did not punch his lights out.

[Tracii G]

Oh my here we go with the "it shouldn't matter what clothes I am wearing statement".
That doesn't hold water Majella because it certainly does matter. I agree that it shouldn't but it does in reality.
I don't like men coming on to me in a bar for any reason thats why I don't go to bars.

[kimdl93]

The fact that the guy was in a ladies room harassing its users is the thing to be offended by. Who does that? Obviously, the bathroom bills should be focused on guys who would hit up on women in a ladies room, rather than transgendered folks doing their business,