Being propositioned

[SaraLin]

<snip> ... He wanted to fly his freak flag but not in public. What is it with "straight men" and crossdressers? Has anything like this happened to anyone else? I was wearing the white outfit in the pics with the blonde hair.

While your outfit is quite attention getting, I think the guy was (and probably still is) just a creep. The fact that he had chased another woman into the ladies' room and hit on you after striking out with her kinda says it all. He was looking to get laid - period. And in his eyes you looked like you might be a possibility too, so he took a shot.

To answer your question though - Yes. I was propositioned once myself. The guy came on WAY too strong, and kept telling me that he "would treat me like a lady", but never really did. Go figure, right? It was painfully obvious to me that he was seeing me as male dressed as a woman. What I wanted him to see was either 'just' a woman - or at least a trans lady trying to quietly blend in and just be one of the girls.

I was single at the time, and if he HAD treated me as a woman (and stopped talking about drag queens) - he might have stood a chance at getting somewhere with me. I was transition bound at that point in my life and was actively wondering how I would feel about being with a man... AS A WOMAN! (I was never interested in man-man relationships)

Ah well - we'll never know, I guess.

[Leslie Mary S]

Lived in Myrtle Beach 3.5 years and never saw anyone in the outfit you wore. To me it looked like you were ready for bed. Your outfit was more sensual than any bathing suit, which we commonly saw in the bars.
No, the way you were dressed, I would think you were trying to make a statement that you wanted to be hit upon. The 'cad' who came into the ladies room hitting on anyone, should have been reported. I am sure the management would have escorted him all the way out with prejudice. If they didn't I know that the MB police WILL be glad to take him out for "bad conduct".
Myrtle Beach is proud of their city and will do anything to keep from getting a tarnish on their name.

[NicoleScott]

Dressed for attention - that's not a crime. Propositioned (lame pickup line), rejected, apology. Life goes on. No harm, no foul.
Love the outfit.

[Krisi]

First, a man in the ladies restroom bothering the women customers should have been reported to the manager.

Second, like it or not, people judge you by how you are dressed. A man in a business suit commands more respect than a man in a janitor's uniform with his name written over the pocket. A woman (or in this case, a man dressed as a woman) dressed to "attract attention" will get that attention, like it or not. You can claim it's unfair all you want, that won't change things. If you go to an after hours bar dressed as a prostitute, you will get treated like one.

And let's not forget, there are males who dress as women and offer sex for money. In the situation you put yourself in, you could easily be taken for one of those. If this sort of attention bothers you, go to the mall in the daytime dressed as other female mall shoppers do.

[Princess Chantal]

I don't know why you folks keep on taking her post as griping about or surprised by being hit on. I did not get that vibe. I took it as questioning why straight guys straddle their sexual preference fence.
Perhaps the reason some of you people took it that way is because you want to attack her for her clothing choices and outing settings. Yeah, so cool..... I will pass on being a member of your gang if this is the case

[Ressie]

Oh Princess, everybody was on her side on up until post 14. It's not like many of us were attacking her. Just one mention of what she was wearing and she played the victim. We can all wear what every we want but we also may get more attention than we bargained for.

The man shouldn't have been in the ladies room hitting on whoever. And as they say, nothing good happens after midnight.

[Teresa]

The reply I made in Majella's thread about the rule book made the point that we make these comments not out of malice or jealousy but because we care , we know the situation wasn't a good one . We often talk about staying safe , it would have been dreadful to hear she was in A&E with severe injuries because it had gone badly wrong .
Majella herself admits she takes risks , although she hasn't admitted it I would think she went away feeling relieved that the incident worked out OK.

We may think we can take care of ourselves but being dressed can be a risk and we are vulnerable , most of us wouldn't have worn something like she did in those circumstances at that time of day . We can't predict the action of others especially if they are under the influence of drink or drugs, and who knows what offensive weapon they could be carrying or they are part of an organised gang .

[Majella St Gerard]

Princess you nailed it, that was exactly what I was going for. I do dress to be noticed, I enjoy the attention and the many compliments. I was not offended, surprised or felt threatened. I was making an observation about men being dogs. The bar in question has tight security and all men are carded and searched before entry. I just can't believe I was **** shamed.

[Jean. Ann]

This sort of thing happens to GG fairly often .
Take it as a compliment , but decline graciously and firmly .
Preferably with a sweet smile


JAS

[Krisi]

......... I was making an observation about men being dogs. ......................

First, you are actually a man. Do you consider yourself to be a "dog"?

Judging all men by those you find drinking in an after hours bar is not fair and is not based on a realistic sampling of men. I suspect if you did your sampling in a church you would come up with different results.

And if this bar has such tight security, why was a man allowed in the ladies room?

[Majella St Gerard]

Krisi, yes I was a man in the ladies room but I was presenting as a woman. The man was not "allowed" into the ladies room he just entered, I believe he followed me in and then first hit on the woman at the sink, offering her some blow. When I exited the stall it was my turn. Anyway...I was not interested in what he wanted and I told him so. I was not offended or scared for my safety, I can defend myself and I could have called for help if I needed. No not all men are dogs but most are when no one has them on their leash. And WHY would I go to church, those hypocrites are worse, at least in a bar I can see the wolves, in church they're all dressed up like sheep.

[Teresa]

Majella,
I feel there is something wrong with this situation, you admit you take risks, spend till the early mornings frequenting bars and dress somewhat suggestive . The question is do you honestly enjoy yourself or do you go looking for for possible trouble ? I'm asking this now because you admit the weapons you carry to defend yourself .

In plain language WTF are you doing ? Are you going out as a CDer to enjoy yourself or dressing provocatively to entrap and actually cause trouble ?
I was prepared to defend you as a sensible CDer just wanting to enjoy a social outing but now I'm not so convinced it's your real motive !

[Majella St Gerard]

Teresa, what is your problem with me. I never said I take risks, I dress classy at times and I dress trashy at times. I like to look pretty and sexy, why because I can and if I say so myself, I look damn good. I have never been accosted by men, yes I have been hit on numerous times. And yes it makes me feel good and that my efforts to look feminine and attractive are appreciated. I go out to be me and to have fun. All the places I go to I am a regular and the people all know me. So get off my back. Not everyone is like you and all the other old ladies. Constructive criticism I can take but **** shameing and making assumptions about my motives is not cool.

[Bobbi46]

You get what you ask for, and your style of dress was "asking for it" If you don't want that to happen then don't dress like that. If you want to dress like "that" then don't go to after hours bars, but if you want to go there dress differently then things won't happen. Unless you want that sort of thing so be it. Dress like a madam of the night and you get treated like one.
I totally agree with what Teresa says. All the way.

[nikkiwindsor]

The few times I've been out in public, I've been approached men interested in me...one I danced with, another I talked to at length, and a couple others I politely disengaged from...I was dressed like the pic below and link. Somewhat conservative but still feminine.

https://i.imgur.com/wgIUQ1s.jpg?1

[Kayliedaskope]

-stares admiringly, wide-eyed-

Damn, Nikki .......

[FrannGurl]

Love that outfit Nikki, you must have had to fight them off with a stick

[Scarlett1975]

I'm planning my Vegas outing and it will certainly be on the ****tier side, very high heels, tight black mini dress, red wig, if I attract attention then good, if not I will probably be a little dissapointed lol. Any attention will be politely declined however.

[Bobbi46]

Majella, I take issue with your comment against Teresa "What is wrong with all you old ladies". My answer is that one day you will be an "Old Lady" and by the way there are loads of us older and wiser than you so get off your high horse in that respect and have more respect for us much wiser than you.

[Majella St Gerard]

Bobbi, go ahead and take offense. I might age but I'll never be a condescending "old lady". And who is on the high horse here. Go on Facebook and do your shaming. Wisdom doesn't always come with age, sometimes just a feeling of superiority.

[Bobbi46]

Just my opinion I stick by it you stick by yours but I will sleep happier.

[ellbee]

Ah, here it is, in post #1...

What is it with "straight men" and crossdressers?

I suppose one could *also* make the comment: What is it with straight men dressing up as women?


Listen, we all have our own little "things" about us. And yeah, some will, at least at some times in their lives, dare to take a walk on more of the wild side... Perhaps not just fantasizing about certain things, but eventually working up enough nerve to begin *acting* on those desires & turning them into reality.


Hey, if men generally have a higher sex drive than GG's, on average, who "better" to quickly get yer rocks off with than another dude?

Of course, that "would be gay," and those guys just couldn't have that! ( )... So the next best thing? A guy who not only takes on the characteristic appearance of a GG with all the clothing & long hair & what-not, but who would also likely be the submissive half of the couple. Because, again, as we all already know, "only catching is gay" -- but not pitching. ( )


So, basically, a guy has a higher sex drive, wants to have some fun, doesn't want to go thru the "hassle" of attempting to quickly hook up with a submissive GG (and perhaps wanting to avoid the subsequent relationship of such) -- so goes for the odds & starts hitting on "the closest & next best thing."


And hey, if a guy *is* looking all femmy, and is at a bar? In quite a few people's minds, maybe the CD'er, too, is looking to turn those fantasies into reality. What a match made in heaven!


I dunno... That's just my quick take on it, anyway.

[Kayliedaskope]

Laurababe:
Nailed it.

You GO, girl.

[Teresa]

Majella,
Obviously age isn't on your side showing no wisdom or common sense, but just looking for some kind of trouble where you can get it and in any shape or form.

You don't need us to shame you ,you're doing a great job all by yourself !

I was reminded of the old saying recently " He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword !"

Give yourself a bad name if you like but don't drag other CDers into it , you don't appear to have any respect or concern for the damage you could be doing .

[NicoleScott]

I've followed this thread and the piling on. Teresa, please elaborate, what damage could Majella be doing?