This weekend I was riding mountain bikes with some friends, it was hot. We stopped to rest and take a group picture. I unzipped my jersey all the way down and opened it wide revealing the straps of my bib shorts and the upper part of my chest which I have shaved smooth. I've always had a hairy chest that spilled out over my collar so my buddies had some laughs at my "sexy chest." It was all in good fun and I even did some poses, but it heightened something I've been feeling lately.
I'm lucky as I have never suffered from dysphoria, I wouldn't say I haven't felt it, but it's never really been bad. I've had a beard since I was 16, my father and I didn't have the kind of relationship where he'd teach me to shave and I didn't ask, but I was actually happy when I started growing a beard. I had never felt like a proper male, and having a beard helped, plus it hid the fat under my chin. I shaved it completely off for the first time a month ago, much to the annoyance of my wife who likes it, and also to the annoyance of my male self who also likes it.
Every time I take a shower I grab my razor and shave a bit more body hair off, here or there. I'm finding a bit of conflict in myself between enjoying looking more feminine at the expense of certain masculine things, like a waterfall of chest hair that hangs out of my collar LOL.