I'm new here

[Ashleyrobyn831]

The math is correct, just highly unusual. We had our first child in 1993, when I was 14 and a half and she was 16; got married in 97 once I turned 18, then had the other two kids over the next three years. But I can see where without the specifics the math might seem not to add up. To respond to a couple of other parts, I'm sorry I wasn't clear: I have no problem with what's asked of me. My only issue is that due to the timing of the shift in attitude, I worry about underlying issues that might affect the relationship if not dealt with, and I value the marriage too much to take that lightly. I am well aware how lucky I am to be in the situation I'm in, and was just hoping someone might have some insight into what might pentalogy be unseen. I in no way meant to imply that I'm unhappy or have it bad or anything of the sort, and I'm sorry if the way I phrased things made it sound that way to anyone.

[Bobbi46]

My point I am trying to put over is who commands your life/body you or your wife.

[Ashleyrobyn831]

I especially would like to apologize to anyone here dealing with SO who isn't accepting or supportive--i can see now that I should have taken greater care to not leave any implication that I was unhappy with my situation, and I can certainly understand how someone who doesn't have that support could be offended by such a thing. It was never my intention to offend or sound like I felt sorry for myself or whatever. It's not an excuse, but this is my first time passing in an online forum of any kind, and I'm still feeling my way a bit, but I will take extra care in the future to avoid any ambiguity or uncertainty in my statements to prevent the appearance that I'm anything but grateful for how good things are for me when so many others would give so much to have the same. Once again, I'm terribly sorry for any misunderstanding I caused.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

One final thing for now: I just want to clarify something about my wife for anyone who I accidentally misled. There is no issue of anything being forced, nor of improper control. While it's true that she was the catalyst for the pursuit of full transition, it was only because I was at the time badly misinformed about the entire process, and had this never considered it a realistic option. She corrected the false information i had been working from, and pushed (for lack of a better word) for surgery simply because she believed I would be happier that way. Her position all along was that I would be the same person with different genitalia, and that any relationship works best when both parties are as happy with themselves as possible, both of which I believe to be true. At no time has she ever tried to make me do something I didn't want to do, and even with the issue I presented when I first posted, it wasn't that I was opposed to the idea, just concerned that there was more to it than face value, and that it was masking an issue for her that we'd need to deal with. I'm sorry I wasn't clear enough in stating that the whole point was that I wanted to be sure I was doing right by her, not that I objected to what was asked of me. I'll be more specific on such things in the event I ever post about such a topic again.

[Bobbi46]

Ashley thank you for the clarification, but you can understand our concerns from what have said, putting that aside now you need to look very carefully into what you are considering/thinking of both you and your wife need to get as much information about this as you possibly can. On top of this is the inclusion of what family, friends co workers and everybody would think if you went down that road, serious thinking is needed here.
The last thing we all here do not want happening is that you make what could be the biggest mistake of you life.
Slow things down and explore what you have before jumping into the deep end too soon.
I am not having a go at you at all I am just concerned that you are still young with a lifetime ahead of you without making any dire mistakes.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ashley, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home,

Yours is an interesting and a bit complicated story, I hope that you can work things out. >Orchid......

[Ashleyrobyn831]

I do understand the concerns, and that's partly why I feel so bad for creating misperceptions I never intended. I truly do appreciate your point, and I assure you nothing is being rushed. Even when we were still on the active path to SRS, it was a journey 15 years in the making to that point, and even now that that is no longer financially feasible, we're not rushing to completely write it off either. Both of our families are well aware of the whole situation, with he's being more understanding than mine but both still making efforts to stay involved in our lives, so pretty lucky there too, and all three of our daughters are enthusiastically supportive. Granted, it's all they've known from childhood on, but acceptance means a bit more once they're old enough to formulate their own informed opinions and such. I realize that at 38 I'm on the young side in a lot of ways, but given that my wife and I have been together since 1992 (age 13 for me) and been dealing openly with this the entire way, we feel like at this point we're as informed and prepared as it's possible to be. Nearly two decades of living solely as Ashley in public and private, plus several years now of hormone therapy and other procedural steps has given us a good foundation for evaluating post transition consequences.
Oddly enough, it feels good that total strangers on an online forum care enough to point out the potential problems and pitfalls ahead and caution against them. So often people either don't want to be bothered about such things or want to be willfully blind and act like everything is bound to be just peaches and cream, so it means a lot when someone takes the time and effort to acknowledge and address the inherent difficulties involved in such a drastic life change, so thank you for that.

[larry]

I understand that there is a lot of concern on your part. Nice to see others giving as much data as possible.

My only thought is ;
" Happy Wife--Happy Life "

[LelaK]

Are you two into polygamy at all? If so, could we date?

[Bobbi46]

Lela,
Are you serious? really.

[Ashleyrobyn831]

Wow. I'm going to assume you were just attempting a joke with really poor execution, but just in case I'm won't, and in case I somehow wasn't clear enough previously, I'm committed completely to my wife, and she to me, and we have no room nor desire for any third party.