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Thread: Transgender awareness

  1. #26
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny22 View Post
    "Chief" Tracii is correct. The normals must see more then a MIAD. And, IMHO (no offense meant), whiskered faces should not venture out in feminine dress.
    What if I'm not trying to appear as a woman?

    Your point is fair if you only consider CD people who are actively trying to 'present'. I'm a MIAD (Moose in a Dress), and I do it as a matter of self expression. I think any visibility which raises awareness is worth doing.

    <3

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  2. #27
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    Pretty much the same as Moose here, Just a man in a dress.

    Full on dressing from mthe neck down, Breast forms, dress, pantyhose, heels,
    the full kit from the neck down.
    Not being one much for confrontations, I will not be venturing out in public soon,

    Major Kudo's to those that do, I only wish I had that kind of courage. It sure does bring awareness to the forefront.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member sarah_hillcrest's Avatar
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    Lots of issues here.

    I think some people go out less to satisfy their personal self expression and more to satisfy a sexual kink and that's not cool. For example standing at the checkout line in Barnes and Noble when a old guy walks in wearing clothing appropriate for an 8 year old including way too tight My Little Pony T shirt and crazy short pink shorts. He stands there puts his hands on his hips and looks around, everyone tries to not look at him, then he walks out. It would have been awkard for any adult to be dressed that way in a public space. Not illegal, and perhaps not morally wrong, but its the last thing that is going to garner CD acceptance.

    I have nothing but respect for those who dress appropriately with the goal of self expression to go about their daily lives. Those are the ones who will help make CD more accepted, but with this Catch 22, if they are really achieving their goal no would ever know LOL!

  4. #29
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny22 View Post
    , whiskered faces should not venture out in feminine dress.
    well that's me confined to my closet - thanks
    luv J

  5. #30
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    Just to clarify my point I have no issues with the concept of a MIAD its just clothes and its their choice.
    Ms Moose and and Phili dress with style and are respectable.Even a bearded man in a dress is fine with me.
    Its the others like Sarah Hillcrest described that I take issue with because its not helping to normalize CDing for anyone.
    It just confirms the public's view that we are all disgusting freaks like that person.

  6. #31
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    mechamoose, what I said stands for you too. If you want to put on a skirt and go out , then do it. Talk to people, let them get to know you as a person. This is how you change their perception of you. I have met two persons dressed this way.

    Sarah, that's just ridiculous. Do if you put on a diaper and cowboy hat, stand on a street corner long enough, you become part of the landscape.

  7. #32
    Member Julie Slowinski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mechamoose View Post
    What if I'm not trying to appear as a woman? Your point is fair if you only consider CD people who are actively trying to 'present'.
    Hey Moose, I don't think ones approach to dressing should be of concern (makeup or beard - their still going to know we started out as a dude). What matters is that we are friendly and personable, and others see that we are real people with feelings.

    To the question of dressing appropriately (brought up by many), it doesn't matter what's between your legs, most people feel disrespected by a person that doesn't dress for the occasion - they put in the effort to fit in so why shouldn't you? If I want to dress ****ty, and I frequently do, then the best place to do so is in a club where others are doing the same. And, if someone thinks that presence in a gay bar will have no impact, let's just remember that T is the 4th letter in LGBT and within the subcategories of the T, us crossdressers are the least understood/accepted.
    Last edited by Julie Slowinski; 09-30-2017 at 10:50 AM.

  8. #33
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    I wanted to comment yesterday but had to work all day and 1/2 the night. Other people feel similar to what I have written below so I will just use this to reinforce the point. I had planned on getting upset with this comment:

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny22 View Post
    The normals must see more then a MIAD. And, IMHO (no offense meant), whiskered faces should not venture out in feminine dress.
    A few choice words were erased more than once. I will take the high ground and refuse to be insulted by ignorance when it comes to who isn't allowed to be themselves, be happy. Instead, I will repost some of the comments I made after I returned from a six month "break" and add a few new ones below it...

    It is hard to determine the number of people who feel this way but I must take issue with their views regarding crossdressing. They feel that "looking like a man wearing a dress is degrading and insulting to crossdressers and hurts our cause to be accepted by the public. Help us by not doing it." I will not out the author, but the content is one of the reasons I stopped participating.

    I don't know what makes you better than me. I don't know what makes your cause more important than mine. I never thought you were hurting my cause. Hell, I never knew I had a "cause". But, since you forced me to have one, my cause is to look like a man wearing a dress and be accepted by the public. When you pretend to be the opposite sex, I do not consider it degrading and insulting to me, a crossdresser, and I would never ask you to not do it. For some people here, the all inclusive crossdressing umbrella is very small.

    This is pretty simple, a man wearing women's clothing is a crossdresser. Pretend I want to blend in while shopping at the mall. I put on a pair of women's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and even a wig. I am blending in but could have looked almost the same in men's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and a wig. That means crossdressing in public is all about wearing makeup and wigs? That makes no sense.

    I guarantee I can blend in with the public better as a guy in women's clothing than a guy in women's clothing, makeup and a wig. I just won't be what you want me to be. But, I will be happy.


    If you wake up in the morning...
    and spend the time getting as womanly looking as you possibly can. You presentation is flawless. You can now go about your day pretending you are a woman and nobody notices. The public sees one less crossdresser. That hurts your cause.

    If you wake up in the morning...
    and put on nothing feminine, no wig, hip pads and breast forms, bra, heels, perfume etc... You let everyone see your manliest of manly clothing, short gray hair and receeding hairline. The one difference? You get all dolled up in the makeup department before you head out the door for John Q. Public to see you. Are you crossderessing? Are you cross makeup(ing)? And if you are, how do you switch back to guy makeup? I know how to switch back to guy clothing.

    I understand I am not making any friends with these views. I am alienating an entire segment that has an inner woman yearning to wear wigs and makeup to be free. But, this site is crossdressers.com and I am a crossdresser. This fact can not be denied or taken away from me.

  9. #34
    New Member Pixiesmate's Avatar
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    I have to agree with Moose - I am not trying to appear as a woman. I am a Man In A Skirt. I wear hose and heels because wingtips look really bad with an A-line skirt. I do have to agree that we (all of us, with all the variations there-in) need to look like we care about how we look. I have taken great strength from the folks on this site, and have for the last couple of years been out and about wearing clothing that is usually sold to the female gender. It has been common in my experience that people are surprised initially but the more I come into their stores and shops it becomes a commonplace thing. All of us, just being out and about living our lives our way, will help bring the acceptance that we all want.

  10. #35
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Well, people make assumptions based on those first few seconds of an encounter. If one looks too far outside of what is 'expected', then it will set people off.. even if they are not doing it on purpose.

    If I'm going to a social gathering where I know that the audience is receptive.. like an LGBT function, club or a CD event.. I will go all out, sparkly heels and all. If I'm going to the market, that answer is different. Different again if I'm going to meet a client.

    The LGBT asylee group I work with had only seen me in business attire prior to Pride here. (Time constraints leaving work) Some of the folks didn't even recognize me at first! (See my profile pic.. click through) They seemed to treat me with more.. i dunno, respect(?) at our next group meeting. The asylees were much more friendly even though I have been doing stuff with them for months.

    Clothing is a language. We all have involuntary reactions to someone in a uniform, bare feet and overalls, or a prom dress. The relative risks of our clothing selection can and should drive some of our choices, if for safety if nothing else.

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

  11. #36
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    Maybe the action needed to have change is to actively write your politicians. Washington State law is very specific as to protection offered to the entire scope of transgender men and women, as well as gays and lesbians. Those laws are often enhanced by local laws in the cities and counties. The laws are also enhanced with "hate crime" status. I have seen way to many politicians show their true colors on this issues and they are not the colors of the LGBT flag. Write your congressperson or state legislators demanding equality. March in the local pride parades. Confront ignorance.

    That being said, I personally feel there is some degree of decorum needed if you are going to present in public. My granddaughter is 17 and a very attractive young woman. She is stylish. She is tasteful. What she wears another young woman in her peer group should not wear. And, definitely her 70 years old grandfather should never wear. Nor her grandmother. I just ask, what kind of image are you going to project to the public. If the general public views a woman in a negative light, what do you think the public is going to say about a man wearing the same outfit with no refinement to social skills. I see many cross dressers in the pictorial section who look marvelous. Of course, for the most part they are still pictures. When I drift over to Youtube with self posted videos there are too many "tarts" parading around the roadways with cars whizzing by. To me it indicates there is a negative image of women. Do you really think a woman is going to dress in six inch heels with a dress that hardly covers the cheeks of her butt and parade along the roadway?

    If you want to emulate a woman, then think about what woman you want to emulate. And, consider the time and place. Club wear may not be appropriate for early morning mass unless you are asking for forgiveness for what you may have done several hours before.

    Bearded shaggy hairy looking men in women's clothing should consider whether going into the bathroom at a Target in North Carolina is a way to generate acceptance among the general population for transgender men and women.

  12. #37
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    I can honestly always see a rift between Cders going out dressed in a convincing way and MIADS.

    At the end of the day I just accept MIAD is not for me , the point I resent Tracy making is suggesting it's a pretence , I'm like many who don't honestly know where we are exactly on the TS road, no one will ever say to a TS going out dressed as a woman she is pretending . I've said all this before but it's irrelevant .

  13. #38
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    My earlier comments has raised some hackles. I don't mind. Even Tracy Irving's comment that she was insulted by (my) ignorance is acceptable to me. Her points are certainly valid. I won't try to defend my remarks. Opposing thoughts are how we learn, and I appreciate same.

    Allie SF makes a point that I would like to echo to those who would like to go out .. Do so with a friend, a seasoned forum sister, if possible. I had a great one, a mentor sister who convinced me that I could be out, presenting fully a a woman, and enjoy it. I did, but ONLY because I was not by myself. Except for drive thrus, that hasn't happened, yet. But it will, in good time.

  14. #39
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Teresa, with all due respect, some of us aren't on the transsexual road at all. Some of us aren't even running parallel to it. And still others have no plans to cross it.

    There is a reason I don't post in the transsexual section or even read the threads. At the end of the day I just accept that transsexual isn't for me.

    I follow your threads with great interest and do wish you the best of luck and great happiness on your journey.

  15. #40
    Member barbara gordon's Avatar
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    I think getting out and being visible does go a long way to help with acceptance , and understanding from the bigger populations of "non -crossdressers/ and non -trans" people . Crossdressing can be very mis understood by people who don't do this . If we get out there and do "normal" things like errands, people will start see this as a non threat.

    There is this powerful drive in so many of us to make this "Transformation" in crossdressing by wearing the clothes and accessories that are "usually" "normal" for people of the opposite sex(or opposite gender) .

    The original poster mentions comic-con. How about we take a look at that . Cosplay is becoming increasingly popular and readily acceptable as a form of expression .
    you can become any superhero you want . You can really be that character for a length of time , and you can change back just as easily. Its so much like crossdressing.



    interesting

  16. #41
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    I think that the one step that is even more important than getting out and convincing the general public that we're OK is for us to convince ourselves that each and every one of us is OK. MIADs are OK. Fetish dressers are OK. Stealth TS are OK. We are all part of one tiny, tiny population segment with a huge range of expression and every one of us is OK. The lesson we need to promulgate to the general public is that ALL transgender people are OK. Not just the pretty ones.

    So please, be polite to each other in this thread and in real life. (And I kinda have to remind you that making fun or being disrespectful to any other person's presentation is against forum rules. Personal issues between individuals should be handled by private message. And even then site rules apply. Don't make me pull this car over. )
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  17. #42
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    You say it so well here Pat. Thanks.

    "I think that the one step that is even more important than getting out and convincing the general public that we're OK is for us to convince ourselves that each and every one of us is OK. MIADs are OK. Fetish dressers are OK. Stealth TS are OK. We are all part of one tiny, tiny population segment with a huge range of expression and every one of us is OK. The lesson we need to promulgate to the general public is that ALL transgender people are OK. Not just the pretty ones."

  18. #43
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Allie Sf and Pat both of you are absolutely right in what you say
    .
    I have asked for my thread to be deleted. In retrospect I feel I was being insensitive and what I did say was not in hindsight what I should have said.
    So if I have offended any of you I am sorry and it should not have happened.

  19. #44
    Aspiring Member sarah_hillcrest's Avatar
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    I think that the one step that is even more important than getting out and convincing the general public that we're OK is for us to convince ourselves that each and every one of us is OK. MIADs are OK. Fetish dressers are OK. Stealth TS are OK. We are all part of one tiny, tiny population segment with a huge range of expression and every one of us is OK. The lesson we need to promulgate to the general public is that ALL transgender people are OK. Not just the pretty ones.
    just asking if you think fetish dressing of whatever type is OK in public? To me that's not really a transgender issue just a public decency issue regardless of the person's gender.

  20. #45
    Member jack-ie's Avatar
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    I'm not disagreeing Sarah but the "decency issue" creates it's own problem. Who gets to define what's decent?

  21. #46
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    What is decent in public falls under the laws of that city government and what is written in those laws.
    A half naked guy in a diaper I would rather not eat dinner next to.
    Just because you can fetish dress in a diaper maybe it isn't always the right thing to do.
    Decency and respectability makes your chances better of a successful outing.
    I don't want to shock people and force myself on them that is just not respectful.
    It would be like me getting a table at a fancy eatery and announcing Hey y'all I'm queer and I'm here and there is nothing you can do about it so suffer bitches.
    People don't like having stuff shoved in their face when they are trying to relax and just live their life.
    I'm the same way.
    You want to dress like a dime store cowboy or a 50 cent hooker is your business but please show some decency to the people around you or stay home and feed your fetish.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 09-30-2017 at 11:46 PM.

  22. #47
    Aspiring Member sarah_hillcrest's Avatar
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    I'm not disagreeing Sarah but the "decency issue" creates it's own problem. Who gets to define what's decent?
    Yeah I totally get that, and I can see how the argument can be used against cross dressing. It's a slippery for sure. I think Tracii is pretty much right on. Here's my case. Popular opinion defines what's decent. For cross dressing to become decent in the eyes of the populace it must be separated from fetish behavior in the eyes of the populace and be seen as normal.

  23. #48
    Member jack-ie's Avatar
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    I agree with you both. My point was that different groups draw the line in different places. Sometimes far apart.

  24. #49
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    Jack-ie what matters is the law and what it says.
    You me or the fence post what we think doesn't matter its the law that does in this case.

  25. #50
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    I am one of those closeted crossdressers and I think there are a lot of subtle ways that we can make our presence known without throwing the closet door open and announcing to the world - and most importantly family and friends - that we are crossdressers. One way is when we purchase our female equipment, whatever that may be - is not to deny that it is for us. From my experience, most places do not care. I remain anonymous by paying in cash and I go out of my way to be polite to the SA helping me. Another way is to review what you buy online and identify as a male purchaser. But a polite, well written review of a pretty dress or of service in a store can be read by many, male and female and most important by the corporate marketing folks who can see we are spending good money. Finally, again through e-mail, contact the store or brand headquarters with a nice comment. All, in all, show that we are a polite, well mannered and definitely not creepy group. Face it, has anyone ever heard of people threatened by gangs of motorcycle riding crossdressers? We are about as harmless a group as you can find.
    Last edited by Lacey New; 10-01-2017 at 05:27 AM.

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