Transgender awareness

[irenetancd]

We know there are a lot more crossdressers in the population, but most of us are closeted crossdressers. It can be quite difficult for members of the public to understand the reasons/freedom/choice of someone who crossdress. What do you think are some of the effective actions we can take for us to increase the transgender awareness to the general public?

Someone once told me to take bold action to crossdress in very public places; shopping malls, Pride parade, comic con events, Halloween parties, and walking in busy town centre during day time.

I asked GG opinions on these before and they too agree that they are more accepting if crossdressers really make their presence felt. They told me that crossdressing in quiet places (empty car parks, night time on the street) brings the impression of someone who is awkward and creepy.

Would love to hear your comments.

[Micki_Finn]

It’s not just presence, but what you DO with that presence. It’s being an ambassador with your actions.

[Tracii G]

I look at it this way if you don't participate and by that I mean get out there and be seen in public acceptance will be a long time coming.
Empty places at night is silly no one there so why bother ? I know the unseasoned CDer thinks thats a great place to appear because no one is there and they won't be seen.
They don't understand the seedy people all come out at night and they will be seen by people that may do them the most harm.

The only way I know of create awareness is to be yourself get out there and be seen with the stipulation that you dress and actually try your best to look respectable.
Dressing like a 2 dollar hooker because you think its sexy and hot is not going help the cause so to speak.
I have a lot of opinions that CDers hate so I will leave it at that.

[Jenny22]

"Chief" Tracii is correct. The normals must see more then a MIAD. And, IMHO (no offense meant), whiskered faces should not venture out in feminine dress.

[jack-ie]

I agree Tracii. Unfortunately, I think the sexy, two dollar hooker look is a phase many of us go through when we first begin to fully dress. I know I did. Fortunately, for me, I had an understanding SO to guide me towards more tasteful attire. Women don't dress like that when going out to dinner or shopping and it certainly won't help bring about acceptance. It is possible to be attractive, sexy, and tasteful at the same time.

[Pat]

Someone once told me to take bold action to crossdress in very public places; shopping malls, Pride parade, comic con events, Halloween parties, and walking in busy town centre during day time.

I'd say you needn't take BOLD actions -- i.e. actions that make you nervous -- but take comfortable actions in those places you mention. Do what's right for you. In addition, you can put a transgender flag sticker on your car, or TG flag pin in your lapel. Fly the TG flag on days that are meaningful (Transgender Day of Rememberance, Day of Transgender Visibility, or any of the LGBT pride days.)

Again, do what you're comfortable with. I think we send the most correct and compelling message when we don't make a point that we're special, but that we're ordinary. People will understand us a lot better, I think, if they see that we're in the grocery store to buy food, in the restaurants to have a meal with our friends, strolling around the mall to shop -- just like they are.

[NicoleScott]

So the message is: get out there for the cause of public acceptance, UNLESS I don't like how you express yourself.

[Meghan4now]

Wear a button that says "I am Trans!!! And don't call me Shirley"

[Kayliedaskope]

"Chief" Tracii is correct. The normals must see more then a MIAD. And, IMHO (no offense meant), whiskered faces should not venture out in feminine dress.

Be careful, hon, and don't say that around Phili - she'd be all over you like cheap perfume.

However, I do respect your opinion. Me personally, I would fall into that category more than a few times myself ...

[Tracii G]

So the message is: get out there for the cause of public acceptance, UNLESS I don't like how you express yourself.

Totally missing the point Nicole.
Yes Pat exactly.

[Dana44]

I do my part. I go out and about and enjoy being myself. But I don't see any of our sisters out here. I would like to see the closet ones get out.

[Teresa]

Irene,
I understand your question but may I ask what have you been doing since joining the forum in 2009.

You must have read hundreds of threads on this subject, you must have a clear answer by now .

To give you my personal answer I found taking the plunge and joining a social group is the best way to step out the door into the public eye .

Over the next 18 months I've been with other members to represent TGs in a pride week , that is the way we can improve awareness .

My plan for the future is to run an art group from my home dressed, I'm hoping it's going to work because I will be integrating into the local community.

The hurdles to get over are accepting yourself , know exactly what your are, step out of the closet and start to live as you truly feel .

[Tracii G]

Teresa I can see how your whole out look has changed in the last year and I'm glad you have started to blossom.Good for you.
Trying to convince closet dressers to come out is fruitless so I quit trying to encourage them.
Some people will always remain in the shadows and let others to the heavy lifting so to speak and continue to complain how things are.

[AllieSF]

Tracii, don't stop encouraging people to get out of their closeted lives. It works for some and not others. People have a hard time being forced to do something, but encouragement works better for the long haul. Everyone has their own fears and worries, justified or not. Encouragement and happy results presented on this site helps others from letting some fear cripple their own lives and freedom. Some fears are real and need to be respected, as in losing a job, income, relationships with others.

You, others like you, including me, have no troubles going out, others do have issues, some self created and others real as described.

I am one of those believers that each and everyone of us who go out helps ourselves, others like us and the unknowing public see that we are mostly just regular people very much like them. People like Caitlyn Jenner, Laverne Cox and others can make a bigger impact than us, but the world still needs the rest of us, those that can do it, to build on their helping people realize that we exist, will not be going away and are good people too.

[Rogina B]

Interaction with your local butcher,baker,and candlestick maker makes for TG awareness. As does the grocery store,auto parts store and the drug store....They are all happy to have you as a customer.

[sometimes_miss]

Being in the closet, I do my part by defending those who show up as patients while crossdressed or in any way presenting as transgender. Sometimes the biggest influence is someone who supports, yet appears to have nothing to gain by supporting someone else's behavior. As an 'out' crossdresser, they would simply look at me and say, 'well of course he supports TG/CD/TS, he's one of them'. But when they don't know? It carries more weight, because it appears to be coming from an objective source.

[Alice Torn]

I am not a "group think" person. More like John Wayne, in a dress and wig!

[Tracii G]

No Allie I'm done never again.
People these days just don't have the fortitude to do things for themselves they just like to wallow in pity.
Every time I have mentioned that someone has the power to go out if they want to I get raked across the coals for even thinking it much less telling a person they can do it.
Society is flipped 180 out of whack. What used to be good is now bad and what used to be bad is good/normal.
Its messed up thats for sure.

[Pat]

People these days just don't have the fortitude to do things for themselves they just like to wallow in pity.
Every time I have mentioned that someone has the power to go out if they want to I get raked across the coals for even thinking it much less telling a person they can do it.

I'm having a little trouble following the logic." People these days just don't have the fortitude," which seems to imply in previous times they did. And yet, in previous times, (let's say 1950's? 60's? 70's?) there were fewer of us out in public than there are today. I don't think the incidence of transgenderism in the general population has changed, so there must have been as many of us in existence and yet fewer people were out walking around. So it would seem they were lacking fortitude. But today there are more people out so there must be more fortitude today, right?

You and I (and others) are out walking around. We're doing it for our own reasons. Presumably we looked at the risk/reward and said we were going for it. If anyone tried to stop us, they'd get an earful. These other folks have done the risk/reward assessment for themselves and said the benefits weren't there. We wouldn't allow our choice to be questioned, why should we be questioning theirs? It's totally fair for us to argue that the risks aren't as large as they think and the "reward" for staying closeted is no reward at all. But we have to respect them and their right to choose. Even if we disagree or feel disappointed in them or whatever.

[Tracii G]

See what I mean Allie I even suggest it and someone wants to show me how wrong I am and takes me over the coals again.
I knew better than to post because I knew this would happen.
I rest my case.

[AllieSF]

Tracii, your definition of over the coals is obviously different from mine. Pat is just giving you and us her opinion. I don't think that I have ever read anything from her that could be described that way. I believe that more of us should go out. But, I would not shame, coerce nor complain when someone decides not yet, even though they do eventually want to get out. I would try to help them make those first steps. Everyone deals with their own fears in their own ways. I have accompanied many on their first times out and even had a few cancel at the last minute. It only bothered me when they did not give me timely notice. Your point of view is just as good as mine even if we disagree. We do not need to agree and can respect each other's opinions even if we think they are not correct. We both, as well as, everyone else, have different experiences which help create our own personalities with our own fears and foibles, and I do have my own for sure that many people may never understand!

[TheHiddenMe]

I'm a big fan of Dan Savage, the sex advice columnist, and he's a firm believer in the idea that visibility brings acceptance. He believes (rightly so, IMO) of the acceptance of gays in the populace was caused by more and more gays coming out of the closet, so that straight people knew someone who was gay, and that changed the acceptance of gays in a large part of the population (there is still a percentage not accepting, of course, generally from fundamental Christians, or members of a certain political party--unless of course, the members of that party happen to have a gay son or daughter).

My wife often asks me what will I do if I get outed? I tell her then I would start doing outreach, public speaking and the like.

I've gotten out probably 20+ times over the last year (went out today). The SAs at my favorite Nordstrom know me, and are happy to see me. I try to be a positive role model for CDs; dress appropriately, be polite, etc. I've never had a bad experience, but many, many positive experiences.

I think the emergence of Caitlyn Jenner is also a positive. When a muffle sees a TG person, they don't know whether that individual is on the TS spectrum or the cross-dressing spectrum. I think her emergence has also helped the visibility of TG individuals.

In the end, as more CDs come out, I believe the stigma of being of CD will lessen. But it's going to take a while.

[Julie Slowinski]

I'm a big fan of Dan Savage, the sex advice columnist, and he's a firm believer in the idea that visibility brings acceptance. He believes (rightly so, IMO) of the acceptance of gays in the populace was caused by more and more gays coming out of the closet, so that straight people knew someone who was gay, and that changed the acceptance of gays in a large part of the population.

I'm also a big fan of Dan Savage and agree that knowing a tg person personally can have a huge impact on someone's perception of an otherwise abstract group of 'those people'. Once I come out to those important to me (most notably my kids), I figure the rest of the world will be a nonissue. It's actually one of the things I'd like to look back on with pride on my deathbed - I hope I find the courage.

[Teresa]

I'm not sure if I've read it right but I assumed Irene was either out or wants to find the best way to come out .

I answered on that basis , I know it's a short time for me compared with some being out even so I'm happy to pass on what worked for me . Going out to a group is the easiest way of dong it, aimlessly walking round a shopping mall wondering if you've been being read or is getting it back to front . I go out and shop because it now has a reason, putting outfits together initially for my meeting has now extended into shopping for everyday wear . OK I admit that is still in drab because of the current circumstances , when I move to my own home then that situation will change .

I'm with Allie on this one, going out and passing our experiences on is the right thing to do. From an old thread I discovered what percentage of members were out or wanted to be out, the figure from those wanting to remain in the closet was very small .

Tracii, don't give up on it!
Given the circumstances I would be happy to meet you for coffee in a public place rather than still be peering round curtains wondering what the neighours think .

TheHiddenMe,
That's the conclusion I've come to , the public don't know where we are on that road , all they see is a CDer, they don't know what parts we have , so may not pass comment , I mostly get a smile from GGs and the "will I or won't I look " from guys . Most avoid eye contact, I have to smile because I'm thinking they're are assuming it's contagious !

[Jean 103]

It's easy, just go out and make friends. I've done it , going out in the general public, talking to people. It starts to snowball , it wasn't long before I had to come out. That and I started living as Jean.