Effects of hormones... in the bedroom?

[Evie82]

Hi everyone

I was talking to my therapist this morning and the conversation went towards surgery and hormones. This left me with many questions and I won't post them all here. But for the big ones I'd really appreciate hearing anyone's thoughts to help order my own.

Some background info, I live in a fairly small community and the general views on LGBT issues are improving, my partner is FtM trans but doesn't really hold out much hope for help transitioning, and while we've both got 'parts' that work together we're not really looking at genital surgery.

This morning I was talking about breast augmentation and implants were mentioned. I'm open to suggestions but also said I wondered about hormones as they might prompt breast growth and may help reduce the amount of body hair I currently have to remove in various ways. She seemed a little concerned at this point as she said that there's no guarantees I'd be able to 'do it' when T blockers and oestrogen take hold and she was worried my relationship would suffer as a result.

While I understand where she's coming from and I know everyone is different, is anyone willing to share any experience in that department? PMs in the strictest confidence would be great if you don't want to talk openly about it, but I'm really anxious to get as much info as possible.

While it was a very positive session today, I'm left wondering about that and about the breast augmentations. It feels I'm in a difficult situation right now and that I might be stuck - my relationship is wonderful and I don't want to do anything to ruin any part of it. I worry that presenting and being accepted as female may be easier in some ways (small town mentality doesn't help with that though) with the hormones, but that from a risk point of view implants may be more practical but wouldn't deal with the body hair issue. I'm definitely looking into laser hair removal too - face torso, back and bum to start with, but I know it's damn expensive. So where to begin?

If you're reading this bit, thanks for sticking with me! I'm a bit of a teary mess at the moment so any insights would be fantastic.

Thanks in advance!

Evie x

[Pat]

My personal experience (only -- you already know everyone's mileage will vary) is that after 14 months on hormone therapy, the effect of hormones on my body hair are noticeable, but not equivalent to hair removal at all. My sense is I still have all the hair that ever I did, but the hairs are softer, much smaller in diameter and they grow more slowly. Because I never had much hair to begin with and it was always a very light color, optically nobody sees it in normal lighting. If I don't pay attention the hairs will still get as long as my male body hair did. The big win is the change to skin softness -- nothing else can do that.

In terms of sexual function, I believe my desire is lower but everything still works and still feels great. It's actually kind of a relief as I feel I'm no longer being controlled by my sex drive. I am unquestionably infertile at this point, so if you consider this and you think you'll ever want kids, then you should look into freezing some sperm. I think I read an article the other day saying demand for those services is up in the UK and so you might also have to plan some lead time.

Wandering out of direct experience and into theory... there's a lot of debate about implants before hormones but there seems to be pretty solid consensus that the natural breast growth most people get from hormones probably won't be satisfactory by itself (mine certainly isn't from an aesthetic viewpoint, but tiny as they are, they are amazingly comforting in terms of body image.) So you will probably be looking for implants after hormones. I think the concern with having them before is that you might end up with some funny shape issues if you grow breast tissue after implants are in place.

[Heidi Stevens]

Hey Evie, I've been on HRT for two and a half years and as said by Pat, everyone is different. I am not at a full dose of E by choice. I'm having to live presenting as a male most of the time to keep my wife happy. That said, the HRT effect on me is more mental with a few side benefits. I'm able to be the "man" in my wife's world without having to explain "things" in my appearance.

As far as the sexual content, my love for my wife is just as strong now as it when we met 33 years ago. The physical act of love left the station before I started HRT. We both just lost interest I guess in that part of being in love with someone. We still do all the other things, hold each other, hold hands, kiss long., etc. But Mr. Spironolactone has me not able to rise to the occasion. You will become empethic if you already aren't.

Hair on me is effected this way. I had my face lasered and all the dark hairs are gone. Since HRT, my remaining body hair has grown back slowly, but very fine if I get an area waxed. Nearly all of it has gone gray. What gray beard I have grows back slower and is thinner. I have to shave my face every other day. Bottom line is if you want to be hairless you still have to shave, laser or do Electrolysis.

Those are my results so far, but I may be following a different path than you will. Good luck!

[Rachel Smith]

Evie,

I just had my BA on Sep 9th. I just didn't grow much with HRT. I was about an AA cup but I was 58 years old when I started HRT and perhaps being younger may help you.

I was quite hairy before and with epliation most of my leg hair is gone and now I epliate my legs only twice a week. Most of the hair on my arms is gray as is my beard so laser is out. My arm hair is not reacting the way my leg hair did and while it has gotten smaller in diameter it hasn't really lessened in quantity. I just started epliating my face and this is brutally painful. I doubt I will ever be able to do my neck because that is just unbearable.

Rachel

[OCCarly]

Sexual function? The erector still works just fine and they are harder than they used to be, but I've lost a good inch and a half in the size department. And the production of seminal fluid is a fond memory. Gone, baby gone. Orgasms are still there and no longer limited to the urethra; they tend to be more diffuse and sometimes far more intense -- and I feel far more wrung out and exhausted afterward.

In terms of desire, I want it a lot less often, maybe once every two weeks, but-- external cues that make me feel horny have changed. Wine, fine cheese and candlelight counts for a lot more than it used to. YMMV.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

it can also cause painful erections... like you are almost there, but you can't get there, and it hurts, and if you get there at all that hurts too.
... not pleasant..

it will reduce your drive but thats not so bad...

[LeaP]

I started HRT in August 2012. Libido gradually reduced over the first months, stabilized for perhaps a couple of years, then gradually tanked to close to zero in the last year.

My body hair diminished ... s l o w l y ... I used an electric rotary epilator for several years, only stopping when it lost its ability to keep a charge. At first there was no change. Epilate, then a need to repeat in a few days. That stretched into weekly, bi-weekly, every once in a while, if and when I noticed the need, and finally in the last year, never (again, triggered at first when the epilator died). It hasn’t grown back, but for a few individual hairs here and there. Hair still grows on my legs and underarms but it’s finer and slower. Arm hair is fine and sparse. Hair on hands, back, abdomen, butt, etc. are gone. Basically I’ve arrived at a female body hair growth pattern.

Body hair growth cycles are a lot slower than facial hair anyway, so my best guess is that the hormones (and anti-androgens) finally weakened or ran out the cycles in the male-specific body hair areas. I’m not sure if epilation made any difference to the slowing of re-growth or not. I doubt it had much to do with the stoppage itself.

Facial hair is unaffected by hormones. I had to stop electrolysis at roughly 160-170 total hours hours last year for budget reasons, but I’m about 90% clear. I generally need a light shave every 1-2 weeks. It’s not so much noticeable as I dislike the slight fuzziness when I touch my face. When I say “light” I mean that I can literally shave in about 30 seconds with a dry disposable razor with no irritation or discomfort whatsoever.

The heart of my message is that HRT takes a LONG time to really complete its work with body hair - in my case 4+ years. I have little doubt that I was helped by not having much body hair to begin with. Your mileage WILL vary. My guess is that someone with dark and dense body hair is likely to have a harder time with it than I did.

[Melissa Rose]

I completed hair removal/reduction (neck, face, legs, underarms and small patches on my back and chest) before starting hormones. The hair on my arms and a few other areas got finer and lighter, but it took 1 1/2-2 years for it to plateau and maintain at its current state of peach fuzz. Substantial softening of my skin occurred at the 1-2 year post hormone start mark.

I started breast development fairly quickly and was a small B in less than a year. In the second year, I stabilized at a solid B and there was a significant increase in the size of my nipples and areolas. I have to wear a sports bra or very loose shirt if I do not want my breasts to show. If you get a BA, they are going to be hard to hide and you will not be able to go shirtless in public without notice.

Within 6 months there was a noticeable decrease in my ability to get hard. By the end of a year, it went to nothing. In other words, it is now a Twizzler instead of a Tootsie Roll.

In my opinion, you may be able to hide the effects of a low dose, but should assume "everything" is going to happen at a standard, full dose. There is a range of physical responses which you cannot fully control.

[Evie82]

Thank you everyone - as always your support has been amazing!
Your replies have given me a lot to think about and a lot to talk about with my partner.

Thanks

Evie x

[KellyJameson]

For myself I thought I knew what I wanted until I had what I wanted and than realized I wanted something different.

An example is breast augmentation. I understood perfectly well that breasts attract a lot of attention from both sexes and I did not want this attention but yet I also had a inner sense of myself as to how I knew I was meant to look. This inner sense was the driver of my transitioning and contributed to the wrongness I experienced pre-op. I still have no idea where this sense of wrongness originated but it was and is the deepest conviction about something I have ever experienced.

This wrongness versus rightness is what you want to discover. Some keep the genitals as they are and do not experience a wrongness in this. Many of the arguments between transsexual women is over the differences in how they experience this wrongness.

I had to discover this as an on going process because I found there was a difference between what I thought and what I actually experienced as I changed as "this feels right versus this feels wrong".

I eventually went for breast augmentation and learned to live and even enjoy, but still with some trepidation, the attention.

You can ask for all the advice and experience of others but transitioning is extremely personal and no two transitions are alike. Discover and follow your "inner guide"

The discomfort of my BA was nothing but of course that is comparing it to GRS.

and a link to TS surgery and Hormones. http://www.tssurgeryguide.com/transg...chiectomy.html

Hormones can become a life long leash that you are tied to with unknown long term risks. I personally looked for ways to keep this risk to a minimum but this was easier for me because I definitely experienced male genitalia as unnatural. It was not a hate or loathing but simply as an aberration.

Something that did not make sense as being part of my body, being, mind, spirit or soul.