So last night I went out, dressed as a female, in public, among the muggles to a real place not just the parking lot around the corner or a somewhat empty park as I have done a couple of times in the past.
It was exhilarating, nerve racking, scary, sweat-inducing, stomach-churning EXCITEMENT!
It took a lot of pre-planning but this closeted gal was able to find a way to meet the other Houston girls for the monthly Girls’ Night Out. I had my outfit in a bag in my car as well as all my makeup so when the last employee left my office near 6pm I hurriedly started getting ready.
That took a LOT longer than I anticipated.
Pro tip: keep in practice with putting on make up. It’s been MONTHS since I’ve put on a full face of femme makeup so it took way longer than I wanted. In fact I almost forgot to use a beard cover color-corrector. Another good idea... if you’re going to wear heels when out public, you might want to practice your walk.
So walking... I’ll tell you, it’s one thing to walk on carpet or floors that are nice and flat inside your own place. It’s an entirely different thing to walk on streets with little holes and divots, up curbs, across little cobblestone walkways and then up a few stairs when it feels like the whole restaurant is staring at you.
I was extremely nervous and much of it was because I was out of practice and was worried about being clocked because I didn’t have the confidence that comes with practice. I was extremely late because traffic in Houston is a nightmare and even in October with the sun down it can be 85degrees and 90% humidty. This gal was more than just glowing.
I made it though. Except on the second try. Because on my first try, as I was heading to the door I saw my reflection and realized I forgot to put in breast forms.
Oh
My
Gawwwwwd!!!
So I begin to race back to my car to retrieve them. This is the point where my necklace comes unclasped in the middle of the street while a car’s headlights are on me as I’m bent over trying to pick up the pendant that fell off. Thankfully I did remember my hip pads.
I was beginning to think maybe the Universe was giving me its final sign to hang it up. I think to myself that I’m here. I can’t turn around go home.
So I walk in and I look around the small restaurant and see the face of a familiar avatar. Aunt Kelly! I let out a sigh of relief that they are still there. I walk to the table with a death grip on my teal clutch and in a mousy way attempt my femme voice and say “hi ladies”
Kelly looks at me and the others are staring at me as if they’re thinking, “well I guess they will let any bit of riff raff in this place.”
Kelly says something that I can’t quite make out because I feel like I might faint. I think at this point my ears were ringing. And I was certain the band of muggles behind me were pulling the torches and pitchforks to run me out of the place. As they were staring at me I thought “oh my God is my wig on right? Did one of my bewbs fall out? Eyelash is stuck to my eyelid? WHY!!! WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME!!!
I blurt out, “it’s me Sayyidah.”
A few OMG’s then hugs were had by all.
I want to say a big thank you to the Houston gals who were there. You are AMAZING!!! Thank you for making me feel so at ease and for all the kind words. It was my first time out dressed as a woman in such a public setting. I will never forget the experience or you who were there.
My only regret is we didn’t get a picture together.
